"God, please don't leave me like this." She prayed it standing in an office at work, with tears running and no idea what to do with the gap between the woman everybody saw and the woman she actually was.

In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Desire, a teacher, a mother, a wife, and a woman who spent years being everybody else because the real her had been rejected before. We talk about what it costs to perform a life. The posts that say family first while your own house is falling apart. The version of yourself you build out of what other people clapped for. The rejection that got planted so early she can trace it back to a game of school with her cousins.

Desire is honest in a way that is rare. She talks about the mentor who told her, you are not coming off as nice as you think you are, and what it was like to actually hear it. She talks about the picture God gave her of a person who looked fine on the outside while something else was living on the inside. She talks about the boundary she finally set with her own father, and what he did with it that she never expected.

And then there is the other side of it. Five years of surrender. A clean room. A dream about a stadium and a row of seats she had to empty. A movie role she did not go looking for. A mission trip to South Africa. And a word for the woman still hiding: there is no other you.

If you have ever put on a face to be accepted, or worn so many of them you cannot remember which one is yours, pull up a chair. This one is for you.

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why the mask goes on in the first place, and how early it starts

- The difference between people pleasing and God pleasing

- Setting a boundary with the person you most want to make proud

- What it sounds like when God shows you yourself and you do not look away

- Spiritual bypassing, and why God can handle your anger

- The season of separating, and the people who cannot come where you are going

- The art of obedience, and what obedience opened up for her

ABOUT DESIRE

Desire is a teacher, wife, and mother who spent seven years as a family teacher at Boys Town before God started rebuilding how she shows up at home, at work, and in the room. She is stepping into a film role, heading to South Africa on mission, and telling the truth about all of it. Find her at [add Desire's Instagram or website].

CONNECT

Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com

If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

Rachel D. Fox, DSL