Developing Self-trust, Self-compassion & Finding Your Why in Sex Addiction Recovery w/ Josh Otani
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Host Tara McCausland interviews Josh Otani about why people feel stuck in recovery from pornography addiction and how rebuilding self-trust is central to lasting change. Otani explains that many clients pursue sobriety goals with performance-based, perfectionistic expectations, but recovery requires clarifying a personal “why” and addressing underlying roots like shame, insecurity, and negative sexual self-image. He contrasts an abstinence-focused recovery with a broader recovery mindset that treats healing as a lifestyle affecting relationships, work, and self-worth. Otani encourages focusing on small, present-day steps, reframing slip-ups as learning rather than “resetting the clock,” and celebrating small wins. He describes internal conflict as two parts—wanting change and wanting old coping relief—and teaches acknowledging cravings with self-compassion, somatic awareness, and values-based redirection to reduce shame. He shares that learning his worth was unconditional reshaped his approach, recommends noticing and reframing harsh self-talk to build internal safety, and advises newcomers to take one step at a time while long-term participants practice kindness and recognize progress.
Connect with Josh Otani HERE.
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