Were you taught to be nice, helpful, agreeable and easy to work with—only to end up overworked, undervalued and quietly resentful?

In this episode, Betsy talks with psychologist, coach and Good Girl Deprogramming author Michelle Minnikin about the conditioning that teaches women to put everyone else first. They unpack how it follows us into the workplace, why traditional career advice often fails women and how being the “good girl” can eventually hold us back.

Michelle also explains why resentment is one of the clearest signs that a boundary has been crossed, how to begin changing these patterns through small experiments and what it really means to enter your villain era—without becoming someone you’re not.

You’ll learn:

• How good-girl conditioning shows up at work
• Why being capable and agreeable can lead to more work, but not more opportunity
• How to recognize when your boundaries are being crossed
• Why resentment is an important signal instead of something to ignore
• How to practice setting boundaries in small, realistic ways
• Why visibility and self-promotion aren’t selfish
• What it means to become comfortable with being disliked

Learn more about Michelle and find her book, Good Girl Deprogramming, at michelleminnikin.com.

Chapters

00:00 What “Good Girl” Conditioning Teaches Us

04:06 How Good Girls Show Up at Work

08:23 Deprogramming Starts with Small Steps

12:01 Resentment Is a Boundary Warning Sign

14:20 Experimenting with Boundaries

17:45 When Competence Turns You into the Worker Bee

21:10 Entering Your Villain Era

24:12 Becoming “Unfuckwithable”

25:11 Why “Let Them” Isn’t Always Enough

27:18 Who Pushes Back When Women Change

29:38 One Practice to Begin Deprogramming

31:20 Where to Connect with Michelle