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If you’ve been rocking with Dem Bois Podcast for a while, then you may have heard me briefly talk about my father. But in this episode I talk about his role in my life in detail. This episode is another in this mini series about extracting closure and today I reflect on the emotional impact of my father's absence, the longing for paternal love, and the journey towards healing.

I talk:

10:44 - Reflections on fatherhood and absence

22:27 - Seeking closure: the letter to my father

37:20 - Navigating parental relationships

45:56 - The complexity of family dynamics

55:05 - Our final conversations and lasting effects

Episode References:

Ep. 126 - Extracting Closure; Dear Mama, with Shawn Aaron

Ep. 106 - Extracting Closure From a Past Situation with Shawn Aaron

Ep. 103 - Building Brotherhood Using Unconditional Love with Kalvin Byrd

Read more about Shawn in his bio below:

Shawn Aaron (he/him) is a Black queer trans man, nonprofit leader, and host of Dem Bois Podcast. He is the Founder + Executive Director of Dem Bois Inc., an organization dedicated to affirming and supporting trans men of color through access to gender-affirming care, health equity, and visibility. Drawing from his lived experience with homelessness, Shawn’s mission is rooted in community care and systemic change. Whether through storytelling or advocacy, his work amplifies the voices of those too often unheard. His signature belief: Visibility = Possibility™

• IG - demboisinc
• IG - shawnaaron81

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!

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“Right now the most invaluable resource (besides water) is empathy.”

This quote from EN’B definitely sets the tone for this episode of Dem Bois Podcast. Today, EN’B shares their journey through music, their cultural identity, and the significance of drumming as a form of meditation and community connection. We also discuss the impact of colonization on cultural practices, humor as a survival mechanism, and the intersections of diaspora and cultural trauma.

We talk:

10:02 - Growing up Korean American in Arkansas

21:19 - The spiritual significance of drumming

39:46 - Exploring diaspora blues and ancestral connections

54:07 - Remembering life before colonization

01:06:03 - Self-love and body awareness

Episode References:

Fulfillment Through Authenticity and Art as Self-Discovery with Wen Neale

Having Faith and Knowing That You’re Worthy with Alexander Rey Simon-Perez

Read more about EN’B in their bio below:

EN'B 은비 they/he is a Korean American non-binary transmasc producer, singer-songwriter, Korean traditional percussionist, and actor. Their work channels Han 한—collective grief and unavenged injustice—alongside heung 흥, the joy found in resilience. Born in LA, raised in Arkansas, and shaped by their studies in Baltimore, EN’B navigates the intersections of diaspora and dysphoria to express what they call their “diaspora blues.” They’ve performed across the U.S., including the Kennedy Center, Broadwater Theater stages, with a mission to ancestral dreams through performance and media

• IG - @Littlegiant.enb

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!

Send us Fan Mail

Many of us spend most of our lives hiding. Because society tells us that we are different and should be ashamed, we hide our bodies, our sexuality, ourselves. And that is why visibility is so important, because it equals possibility. And in this episode of Dem Bois Podcast, my guest and I consider how true that really is. Today’s guest is Noah Arhm Choi and together we discuss the significance of media literacy in combating anti-trans propaganda, the impact of societal narratives on personal identity, and the intersection of gender identity with societal structures like capitalism.

We talk:

11:11 - Coming out and using articles to bridge understanding

24:04 - Media literacy and anti-trans propaganda

33:09 - Autonomy and authorship: moving from invisibility to visibility

45:16 - Gender-affirming care and why joy feels threatening to systems

51:21 - Colonialism, binaries, and managing anxiety

63:31 - Noah’s Poem: My Passport Doesn’t Protect Me Anymore

Episode References:

The Trevor Project

Gender Spectrum

Lambda Legal

Erin in the Morning

Politico

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson

Cut to Bloom

Read more about Noah in their bio below:

Noah Arhm Choi is the author of Cut to Bloom, winner of the 2019 Jack McCarthy Book Prize. A Lambda Literary Poet-In-Residence and Valentines Editor for Honey Literary, they received an MFA from Sarah Lawrence, and their work has appeared in Adroit, Split this Rock, Poetry Daily, The Rumpus, and elsewhere. Noah was shortlisted for the Poetry International Prize and received the Ellen Conroy Kennedy Poetry Prize, alongside fellowships from Kundiman, the Sewanee Writers’ Conference, and the Adirondack Center for Writing.

• IG - noah.arhm.choi

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!

Send us Fan Mail

Mainstream education doesn’t teach much, if anything, about the history of Trans people, but we have existed forever! And we will continue to exist forever! In this episode of Dem Bois Podcast, my guest Wen Neal shares how learning Trans history helped him understand gender more deeply. Wen also discusses the importance of online communities in understanding gender identity, the complexities of familial relationships, and the ongoing journey of understanding yourself and your place in the world.

We talk:

9:27 - The role of online communities in self-discovery

17:26 - Family dynamics and growing up

24:03 - Navigating difficult conversations with parents

37:19 - Healthcare disparities: Florida vs. California

43:30 - The importance of Trans history education

52:40 - Art as a reflection of identity

Episode References:

Deviant Art

Maine-coon Cat Breed

My Strange Addiction

Deantrbl IG

Read more about Wen in his bio below:

Wen Neale is a Asian American transman who's been on HRT for over 10 years (and has four cats) - since the beginning of his transition, he's been an open book on the internet about his transgender journey, and was able to share his experiences as a speaker in UC Davis. Wen is an inspirational figure in the Asian American trans community for his outspoken experiences about living authentically and taking calculated risks in finding his own path to happiness, from personal life to his career.

• Website - catdad.online
• IG - sippystraw
• IG Shop - catdadshop
• Twitter - catdadwen

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!

Send us Fan Mail

If you’ve ever wondered what it really takes to love yourself and be loved for exactly who you are, this episode of Dem Bois Podcast will challenge your beliefs and inspire your journey. Today I sit down with Felix-Long Laneri, and he shares his story of how embracing his trans identity, healing from a complicated adoption story, and leaning into community transformed his life. From unpacking the weight of human trafficking behind his adoption story to navigating relationships with a distant adoptive mother, he offers raw insights into the complexities of identity, family, and belonging.

We talk:

05:14 - Adoption, loss of heritage, and the complexity of trafficking

06:20 - China’s one-child policy, uncertainty around his birth story, and lost origins

11:28 - Childhood memories that revealed gender alignment

19:08 - Felix’s relationship with his adoptive mother

32:59 - Community, engagement, and the love that currently supports him

45:19 - Somatic therapy, healing through the body, and why it matters for trans folks

Episode References:

Dem Bois Podcast Ep. #95 Having Faith and Knowing That You’re Worthy with Alexander Rey Simon-Perez

Dem Bois Podcast Ep. #96 Season 3 Finale - Episode of Empowerment with Alexander Rey Simon-Perez (Divine, They, He, King)

Read more about Felix in his bio below:

Felix-Long Laneri is a social worker, somatic practitioner, organizer, trans, transracial adoptee. He currently works as a gender therapist in a therapy group practice, providing space for predominantly trans folks across the life span to explore identity, relationships, and healing. On his off time he organizes Philly TMOC, a transmasc of color group focused on relationship building and expansive boyhood.

• IG - felixlaneri

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!

Send us Fan Mail

Pregnancy and birth are beautiful things that I don’t get to talk about enough. But in this episode of Dem Bois Podcast, those are the main topics of conversation! Today I sit down with Keo and Mason, a Black trans masculine couple, and we discuss their journey through pregnancy, birthing, and parenting. Keo and Mason also share their experiences with healthcare, their evolving perspectives on family, and the importance of community support. Together, we emphasize the significance of love, understanding, and preparation in raising a child in today's world.

We talk:

5:59 - Navigating healthcare as a Trans couple

17:51 - Future aspirations for Lou (their daughter)

23:56 - Family dynamics and identity

31:33 - Sharing life experiences with children

40:10 - Adjusting to parenthood and new responsibilities

54:37 - Celebrating milestones and fatherhood

Episode References:

Ep. 109 - Unapologetically Black, Trans, and Pregnant with Keo Ruiz-O’Neal

Ep. 15 - Growing Beyond Insecurities and Healing from Trauma with Xavier Jones

Read more about Keo and Mason in their bio below:

Keo & Mason are a Black transmasculine couple who have been together for 9 years and have been married for 6 & a half. The couple recently welcomed a baby girl who Keo carried. Keo and Mason are very proud of the life they’ve built together and even more proud of what their love has manifested into. The pair live in Colorado with their daughter, 3 cats, & dog.

• IG - keos_kingdom

Celebrate 10 years of Dem Bois Inc.!

2026 marks ten years of Dem Bois Inc. To honor this milestone, we invite you to join our 10 for 10 campaign by giving $10 a month to help sustain the care, leadership, and visibility that trans men of color deserve.

Your support helps build a future rooted in care, visibility, and possibility.

Donate today!

Donate today to support Transmasc Gender Affirming Grants and Community Wellness Packages for Trans Men of Color!

The Visibility = Possibility™️ Merch is here! - Not just merch, but a movement!

Dem Bois Community Voices Facebook Group is a safe, moderated sanctuary where trans men of color can connect authentically, discuss podcast episodes, share powerful experiences, and build support networks.

Dem Bois YouTube Channel! - @demboisinc - Exclusive content you won't find anywhere else!