This week on Definitely Not Therapy, I sit down with Richard – a man whose passion for teaching runs deep, but whose journey has been anything but straightforward.

Richard opens up about the darkest chapter of his life: losing his job, battling depression, and the heavy weight of providing for his four children while feeling like the world had turned against him. He shares the raw truth of what it’s like when you’re told to “be honest” only for that honesty to be used against you—costing him the chance at his dream role.

But this isn’t a story that ends in defeat. Richard talks about how he faced the pain head-on, picked himself back up, and found the strength to keep moving forward even when it felt impossible. His story is one of resilience, hope, and the reality that no matter how far down you feel, you can always rise again.

We talk about:

• The toll of job loss and financial pressure on mental health
• The stigma around honesty and vulnerability in the workplace
• The crushing weight of responsibility when you’ve got a family to provide for
• How Richard learned to keep going through the fog of depression
• Finding purpose again and coming out the other side stronger

Richard’s journey is proof that even in your lowest moments, you can rebuild, you can grow, and you can come out fighting.

🔗 If you’re struggling, remember: you are not alone. Check out Andy’s Man Club
and other support networks near you.

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Episode Snapshot

This episode hits deep. I sat down with Olly from Angels United FC, a football-based support group formed by dads who found traditional therapy didn’t cut it. They used the pitch - not the couch - to process grief after losing a child during pregnancy. Olly bravely shares his heartbreak: losing twins Dottie and Poppy. But through the darkness, a rainbow baby arrived. His story? A reminder you’re never truly alone. Instead of sitting and mourning, Olly went to watch his beloved Gillingham FC play football, and a simple tweet changed his life! With an outpouring of love from supporters, players and even the manager! Football really is a language everyone can speak, and it spoke to Olly that day and showed him how powerful it can be.

About Angels United FC

• What they are: A peer-to-peer bereavement support group and football team formed in Manchester in 2020 by 13 fathers who all suffered the loss of a baby or child during pregnancy or at any age or stage. Football became their lifeline.
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• How it helps: They use football to #BreakTheSilence on baby & child loss, bringing together men from all backgrounds in a safe, no-judgment zone.
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• The pitch ritual: Players wear pink-and-blue kits - colours symbolizing infant loss - with their angels’ names on the back. They show up for each other, simply kick about, connect, and eventually talk.
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• Why it matters: Olly says football “saved me.” After his daughters’ funeral, attending a match - and seeing how strangers reached out - showed him that connection doesn’t need words to heal.
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• Recognition: In 2023, they won Manchester Community Sports Project of the Year, proving their impact reaches far beyond the pitch.
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• More than a team: Beyond football, they offer peer support over coffee, walks, and open chats. Everyone is welcome - no fitness requirement, no pressure.
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** Learn more or reach out here: [Angels United FC website]**
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Episode Highlights

• Olly’s snapshot: “We tried counselling, group sessions, coffee mornings - but it just wasn’t right for me. Football saved me.”
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• Raw truth: The club doesn’t interrogate your grief - with a ball at your feet and guys who’ve been there, conversation comes when you're ready.
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• Why sport heals: On grief’

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In my most honest moment yet, streamed live from London in front of an audience, I opened up about what landed me at rock bottom: the unbearable thought of losing time with my daughter, and never finding anyone who believes in me, ever again. Tears, vulnerability, and a microphone, because if I can post a video of myself completely broken for millions of people to see, you can absolutely reach out to just one person. That one moment of courage? It could save your life.

Spotlight: Andy’s Man Club (AMC)

• What is AMC?
  Andy’s Man Club is a men’s suicide prevention charity founded in 2016, offering free, peer-led support groups across the UK and online. Their simple mission: it’s okay to talk. AMC operates in over 240 locations and supports thousands of men each week.
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• The Origin Story
  It started in Halifax when nine men gathered simply to talk. They named the club after Andrew Roberts (Andy), who tragically took his own life at 23. His family, especially his mum, Elaine, and brother-in-law, Luke Ambler, went on to create this judgment-free space for men, built on authenticity and voluntary support.
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• How AMC Sessions Work
  Picture this: free entry, no booking, a biscuit, a brew, and a circle of blokes passing around a ball, inviting each person, voluntarily, to answer:
  1. How’s your week been?
  2. What’s something positive from your week?
  3. Anything to get off your chest?
     Then two variable questions, always ending on a hopeful note.
• Why It Works
  AMC thrives because it’s real. No clinical fluff. It offers raw, peer-to-peer connection. Guys from all walks of life including bosses, skint students, dads, newcomers. Come through those doors and find relief in being heard, not judged. Volunteers are often former attendees themselves; it’s community healing in motion.

Guest Spotlight: Lucas from AMC

I spoke with Lucas from Andy’s Man Club, who shared the tragic truth: he lost three close friends. All successful, all seemingly happy, all died by suicide. That’s a gut punch right there. His story underlines how silent suffering knows no status, and brings to light how vital it is to speak up, even when it feels like you're alone in the dark.

Core Messages from the Episode

• ** Vulnerability isn’t a weakness - it’s strength.**
  If I can go live from London, tears and all, you can reach out to one person -friend, family, helpline, or even a group like AMC.
• Just one ask from you could open the door to help.
  Reach out. Ask “Are you okay?” It could be the moment someone’s soul needed.
• Peer support saves lives.
  It’s not always about fixing things - but about being heard. AMC proves that every Monday night, thousands of men prove that to each other.
• 10 seconds of courage = infinite impact.
  One moment, one ask - that’s all it takes.

Resources & Helplines

• Andy’s Man Club — free, peer-led groups across the UK; no appointment needed.
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