This is the fifth episode on FOCUS Catholic, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students. FOCUS a ministry with more than 1000 young people based largely on college campuses around the United States and which last year had a revenue of $126 million. In this episode, we explore how FOCUS didn’t just recruit students - it shaped identities, relationships, and entire careers. Kelly, Mat, Carol, Anton, Christine, and Mary return to tell us what it’s actually like to be “won, built, and sent” by one of the American Church’s most influential ministries, and why they’re still processing what they experienced years after leaving the ministry.What left missionaries facing panic attacks and hiding in bathrooms during Mass? Why do many former missionaries struggle with substance abuse today? How do those once engaged with the ministry process the harms they helped perpetuate within it? And how did the mental anguish from messages within FOCUS get so bad that it led one former leader to get checked into a psychiatric hospital? We’ll explore all this and much more. 0:00 — When Care Becomes Control2:09 — Burnout, Boundaries, and Work Culture8:53 — Control, Privilege, and Gendered Harm19:27 — Hiding Pain and Losing Trust21:58 — Family Leave, COVID, and Physical Safety27:10 — Shame, Substance Use, and Delayed Growth32:24 — Trauma, Testimony, and Spiritual Authority37:14 — Leaving FOCUS and Reclaiming Identity39:36 — A Crisis and Choosing Survival43:31 — Why These Stories Matter46:27 — Accountability, Apology, and Healing48:56 — Finding Support Without an Apology