Tom is in the hospital, and it's not just his usual laziness. We don't think, anyway. Thomas and Eli play three voice memos Tom recorded from his hospital bed, including one that may just be drugs.

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Eli reports back on Max's first night on Baby Adderall, and it went exactly as well as you'd expect. The dads then tackle a listener who is losing an argument with his partner about Michael Jackson, which turns into a conversation about Leaving Neverland and why the special pleading never quite makes sense. Then: a Nobel laureate's research on falling birth rates, the manosphere, and whether masculinity actually needs saving.

Stick around for the patron-exclusive story from Max's annual checkup, which opens with a sentence no pediatrician has ever heard before.

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Eli comes back from a dad-friends vacation with a story about roughhousing, including a rare joyful moment for Max. Later, a Reddit dad gets benched from family time because his relationship with the kids is TOO good.

Stick around for a patron-exclusive story about Eli's beach vacation and a basket of bread that wasn't meant for him.

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For extended episodes, bonus content, and most importantly, for an AD FREE SHOW, make sure to pledge on Patreon!