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"Boundaries" gets used so much that it has almost lost its meaning. Most of what people call a boundary is really a request.

In this episode, I explain the difference. A boundary is something you do. A request is something you ask him to do. "You can't call me after 10:00" is a request. "I don't take calls after 10:00" is a boundary, because you've already decided and you don't need his cooperation to keep it.

Then I walk you through the dating boundaries I think are wise, and why you should never set them out of a sense of lack.

In this episode:

• Why a boundary that needs his cooperation is really a request
• My own 9:00 PM phone boundary, and why I keep it
• Why choosing from a sense of lack works against you
• Protecting your time: you don't have to pick up every time he calls
• Why endless texting drains you, and why you should stay on the app until you meet
• Who plans the first dates, and what it tells you if he never does
• Letting him pay for the first couple of dates, and reciprocating by the third
• Setting your own physical pace
• Why you don't owe anyone a second date
• Why a boundary you're too scared to say out loud is only a wish

Are boundaries hard for you to create? Do you have too many? Do you set them and then nobody follows them?

Here's your exercise: write down your five most important boundaries, not 462. Then pick one, say it out loud this week, and watch what he does with it. What he does next is the most useful information you'll get all week.

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