I first coached James Haskell when he was a teenager - he had big energy, big personality, and was full of potential. But beneath the surface, he was carrying self-doubt, pressure, and a deep need to prove himself.

In this episode, we sit down for a raw and honest conversation about what was really going on behind the image.

We talk about:

• The impact of being medicated from age 10 and surviving boarding school
• Why he spent years performing, without knowing who he really was
• What therapy helped him uncover about self-worth, confidence, and anger
• The moment he saw his dad's "shadows" for the first time
• Why strength without emotional range isn't leadership
• How marriage, grief, and failure shaped the man he’s becoming

It’s not about rugby. It’s about the work men have to do when the noise stops, and the feelings finally catch up.

Mike Bates grew up in chaos - violence, instability and the deep belief that he wasn’t enough. That belief followed him through the military, into high-stakes leadership, and even across a solo Atlantic row.

In this episode, Mike shares how childhood trauma shaped his mindset, relationships and sense of identity, and what it took to finally let go of performance and prove nothing to no one.

We talk about the rope climb that changed his life, the cost of people-pleasing, and how Brazilian jiu-jitsu helped him discover real emotional strength.

You’ll hear about:

• Growing up without his dad and how that created a fear of abandonment
• Using performance as a way to earn love and worth
• His transformation from elite leadership to emotional depth
• Why leadership without inner work eventually breaks down
• How jiu-jitsu reveals who you really are when everything else is stripped away

This is a story about limits, letting go, and learning to lead yourself first.

Wigan Warriors rugby league star and former Leeds Rhinos captain Kruise Leeming joins me for an honest, powerful conversation about leadership, loss, identity, and emotional growth.

At just eight years old, Kruise lost his dad and was immediately told he was now “the man of the house.” That moment shaped everything: his drive, his discipline, and his approach to sport and leadership. But as he opens up here, it also left scars.

We explore:

• The pressure of early responsibility
• The cost of performance-first leadership
• Owning past mistakes and letting go of guilt
• Reconnecting with faith, vulnerability and inner peace
• Becoming a better man — for himself and the people around him

Kruise speaks openly about the things he got wrong, the people he wishes he’d said sorry to, and how he’s learning to show up differently on and off the pitch.

This episode goes beyond sport. It’s about identity, masculinity, grief, and the courage it takes to slow down and change.

Show Notes

Kruise’s Journey into Manhood

• Losing his father at age 8
• Taking on responsibility too young
• Being told: “You’re the man of the house now”
• His mum’s role in keeping him disciplined

Sport as an Escape and a Mirror

• Finding rugby by chance
• Why individual sports weren’t enough
• Realising rugby gave him belonging and identity
• Feeling seen for the first time

The Drive to Succeed and What It Cost

• His obsession with performance
• Leadership at Leeds and the emotional disconnect
• How “winning” became a way to avoid feeling
• The relationships and moments he regrets missing

The Turning Point

• Grace (his partner) giving him permission to be vulnerable
• Starting to question: “Why does that trigger me?”
• Stepping into real masculinity, not performative strength

Faith, Reflection and Slowing Down

• Losing belief in God – and slowly finding it again
• How faith helps him see beauty in difference
• Letting go of judgement and control

Mentors, Father Figures and Role Models

• The influence of his grandad and Gaz Greenwood
• Learning discipline, respect, and how to carry yourself
• The power of being held to a high standard

Leadership, Identity and the Work Ahead

• Learning to lead without anger
• Understanding himself through CliftonStrengths
• Starting to feel free to be himself again at Wigan
• Looking ahead to life after rugby: speaking, coaching, and helping others