How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

How do you live after your baby dies without feeling like you’re betraying them by surviving? That question sits at the center of my conversation with Azher Rubanni, a father who lost his son Hashim in a full-term stillbirth 20 years ago. We get honest about what many dads feel but rarely say: the pressure to be the “strong one,” the instinct to suppress emotion to protect your partner and kids, and the quiet fear that if the pain ever dulls, you’ll be forgetting your child.

Azher walks us through the day everything changed, including the moment he decided, in a hospital car park, that he would become the supporter no matter what it cost him inside. We talk about telling his three sons their brother would not be coming home, the cultural forces that tried to keep children away from grief, and why inviting kids into the truth can build trust for life. We also explore how different grieving styles inside a marriage can create distance, and why the workplace can become both a refuge and a trap, especially for fathers who feel they must “perform” competence while falling apart.

Then we shift to what helps over the long term. Azher offers a powerful alternative to the language of “healing” and “moving on”: reconciliation. He breaks it into three parts:

1. reconciling with yourself
2. reconciling with your child’s memory
3. and reconciling with the relationships you still have.

If you’re navigating stillbirth, miscarriage, baby loss, or parenting after loss, this one is a grounded, candid conversation for fathers and the people who love them.

Subscribe, share with a dad who needs it, and leave a review telling us what part hit home.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation.

Go to dadalways.com for more information.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Sunfrost by Cody Martin

First Bloom by Moments

Farewells by Shimmer

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Today I conclude my conversation with Ross Knight, a pastor and husband, who learns, painfully and honestly, that trying to be “the strong one” can become a way of disappearing from your own grief. We talk about miscarriage from a father’s perspective, the invisible pressure to keep functioning, and the moment he realizes he has been so focused on his wife’s trauma that he never stopped to ask himself a basic question: how am I doing?

We walk through the realities of IVF and male infertility, including genetic testing and a chromosomal translocation that makes the odds of a healthy pregnancy brutally small. Alongside the science is the emotional fallout: guilt, shame, and the craving to regain control by fixing everything fast. We also get into why so many couples suffer in silence after pregnancy loss, especially when you’re trying to protect your partner, your privacy, or your community role. When he finally shares publicly, the flood of responses becomes proof of something many grieving dads need to hear: you are not alone, and connection is not weakness.

Faith is part of this story too, not as a neat explanation, but as wrestling, surrender, and the long work of relinquishing what you cannot control. The turning point comes with a hard, hopeful pivot toward adoption, and he shares why adoption is not a consolation prize but a real path into parenthood, love, and purpose.

If you know someone navigating miscarriage, infertility, IVF loss, or adoption after baby loss, share this conversation with them.

Subscribe to Dad Always, leave a review, and tell us: what helped you most when you finally stopped suffering in silence?

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation.

Go to dadalways.com for more information.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Nowhere Left To Turn by Ghost Beatz

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

The part of baby loss we don’t hear enough is what happens to dads when everyone assumes we’re “fine.” This week I speak with my friend, Ross Knight, for a raw conversation about infertility, IVF, miscarriage, and the quiet ways grief shows up in men who are trying to hold everything together.

Ross shares the road from early marriage hopes to the shock of a male factor infertility diagnosis and the stigma that can come with it. We talk about the pressure of fertility treatment, the real cost of IVF, and the painful imbalance many couples face when the wife’s body carries the medical burden even when the fertility issue isn’t hers. Ross also reflects on being a pastor during all of this, managing public responsibilities while suffering in silence at home.

Then hope arrives fast: a positive pregnancy test, early ultrasounds, telling family, and finally letting themselves picture a future. Under COVID restrictions, appointments become harder and lonelier, and one day a string of texts signals that something is wrong. What follows is the moment no parent is prepared for: walking into a room and learning there is no heartbeat. We unpack the aftermath, the DNC decision, the clash of grieving styles in marriage, and the line that changes Ross’s internal world weeks later: “How are you doing with all this?”

If you’ve faced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infertility, or IVF, this story offers language for what you may not have named yet and a reminder to check on both parents.

Subscribe for more conversations about fatherhood after loss, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help other dads find the support they’ve been missing.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a FREE private 30-minute conversation.

Go to dadalways.com for more information.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

"Those Were The Days" & "Young Love" by Nu Alkemi$t

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Silence can be louder than any sound you’ve ever heard, and for parents facing stillbirth, that silence doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. Today we hear from David Ryall, a bereaved father living in Australia, sharing the story of his son Daniel (Danya), born in Bali, and the surprising way love can show up right beside shock, grief, and disbelief.

David walks me through the day everything changed at 36 weeks, the moment a home Doppler revealed nothing but quiet, and the rush to a hospital confirmation that no parent is ready for. We talk about the real decisions that come next: induction, pain, recovery, and how to stay present with your partner when your own heart is breaking. He also shares what helped them meet their baby with care, including friends who brought music, midwives who created space, mantras that rose naturally in the room, and the choice to capture photos and videos as memory making after pregnancy loss.

Because this is Dad Always, we name something that often goes unspoken: support for dads after stillbirth. David explains why practical action felt grounding rather than traumatic, how cultural rituals in Bali shaped his acceptance, and why the work of “taking care of my son” didn’t stop after birth. We also explore how sound and silence shape grief, including a nearby newborn they nicknamed the “baby duck,” and how hope for future children can return even in the middle of loss.

If you’re navigating baby loss, supporting a grieving partner, or looking for bereaved father resources, this conversation offers honest companionship and concrete perspective.

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find Dad Always. You can also visit the Dad Always website to explore support options and download the SURVIVE guide, a free resource for dad's navigating baby loss.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Little Star - the actual rendition on the day of Danya's cremation ceremony in Bali, sung by his parents and those who love him (obtained with permission from David Ryall, Danya's dad).

Show Music from Soundstripe

If We Could Let Go by Kurtis Parks

Never Let You Go by Emorie

Related Episode:

Parenting Through The Silence (part 1)

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Silence can be louder than any sound you’ve ever heard, and for parents facing stillbirth, that silence doesn’t end when you leave the hospital. Today we hear from David Ryall, a bereaved father living in Australia, sharing the story of his son Daniel (Danya), born in Bali, and the surprising way love can show up right beside shock, grief, and disbelief.

David walks me through the day everything changed at 36 weeks, the moment a home Doppler revealed nothing but quiet, and the rush to a hospital confirmation that no parent is ready for. We talk about the real decisions that come next: induction, pain, recovery, and how to stay present with your partner when your own heart is breaking. He also shares what helped them meet their baby with care, including friends who brought music, midwives who created space, mantras that rose naturally in the room, and the choice to capture photos and videos as memory making after pregnancy loss.

Because this is Dad Always, we name something that often goes unspoken: support for dads after stillbirth. David explains why practical action felt grounding rather than traumatic, how cultural rituals in Bali shaped his acceptance, and why the work of “taking care of my son” didn’t stop after birth. We also explore how sound and silence shape grief, including a nearby newborn they nicknamed the “baby duck,” and how hope for future children can return even in the middle of loss.

If you’re navigating baby loss, supporting a grieving partner, or looking for bereaved father resources, this conversation offers honest companionship and concrete perspective.

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more parents can find Dad Always. You can also visit the Dad Always website to explore support options and download the SURVIVE guide, a free resource for dad's navigating baby loss.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

The Waves Are The Ocean by Solitude

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

When you’ve just heard “there’s no heartbeat,” even a casual “congratulations” can feel like the world is refusing to acknowledge you and the reality you now inhabit. That moment is where trust breaks, grief compounds, and dads default to silence and isolation.

Today I’m joined by Dr. Nina Paidas-Teefey, MFM/Fetal Intervention & Director of Psychosocial Programs at The Institute for Maternal Health Fetal Care Center at Nemours Children's Hospital in Wilmington, DE, to unpack what “loss” really means in pregnancy and baby loss care. We talk about loss as the loss of normal, the loss of the future you expected, and the loss that starts the minute a family gets referred to a fetal center. We also get specific about the ultrasound room experience: the darkness, the waiting, the facial expressions you try to read, and the questions you don’t ask because you’re not sure you’re allowed to.

From repeated miscarriage trauma to the next pregnancy after loss, we explore how partners protect themselves through detachment, how clinicians can return control with simple choices, and why clear language matters when outcomes are uncertain. Dr. Paidas-Teefey also shares what providers carry home, how peer support and debriefing can prevent burnout, and why teams need to be trained not just in medicine but in listening.

Subscribe to Dad Always for more conversations on fatherhood beyond loss, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more dads and families can find support.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com.

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

We Know by Aaron Sprinkle

Going Home by Emorie

Friends by Demure

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

Grief has a way of burning off the myths we inherit about manhood. When the storm hits, bravado, control, and silence stop working. We open up a candid conversation with John Kammer, a new father who lost three close friends, got sober, and rebuilt his inner life around accountability and honest feeling. His journey led to Guardian [AI]ngels, a structured journaling platform that turns evidence-based grief tasks into a compassionate dialogue, helping users accept the loss, process pain, adjust to a changed life, and integrate the continuing bond without chasing “closure.”

We explore what strength looks like after loss, especially for dads expected to be the rock. Vulnerability has to come first, the way you put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. John shares the hardest ten minutes of his life—coming clean to his wife—and why asking for help accelerated healing. We talk about modeling emotion for our kids, choosing results over ego, and why running toward the storm can shorten the suffering. Presence beats platitudes, and tears are not a failure of masculinity; they’re proof that love mattered.

Then we take a clear-eyed look at AI for grief work: the pros of access, structure, and deeper reflection; the risks of timing and intensity; and the guardrails that keep users safe—true privacy, crisis links, and optional therapist or family “chaperones.” Guardian [AI]ngels doesn’t replace therapy; it bridges the gaps and builds the sharing muscle so your story can breathe. For fathers navigating child loss or other heartbreaks, we end with three keeps: keep humility, keep talking about your child, and keep opening the door for others to share.

If this conversation moved you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving dads can find a map through the storm.

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com.

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Wise As a Serpent by Ghost Beatz

Velox by Isaac Joel

Dreaming of You by Joachim

How has Dad Always helped you redefine fatherhood after your loss?

This week concludes my conversation with Jane Armstrong, LCSW-S, QCSW, PMH-C. Jane is a TFMR & miscarriage mom, a native Texan transplanted in Colorado, & a clinical social worker certified in perinatal mental health. Following the birth & death of her first child, Frankie, through TFMR, Jane opened Both/And Therapy, PPLC to provide therapy & support groups to other TFMR parents. These services provide support around the unique barriers & grief of ending a wanted pregnancy, particularly in states where such care is no longer accessible. She also started her @tfmrsocialworker account on Instagram to raise awareness, reduce stigma, & help TFMR parents to know that they are not alone. She’s passionate about building community, eliminating shame, & honoring grief for TFMR families everywhere.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:
• survival mode, control, and turning to faith
• visible pregnancy while grieving and the harm of small talk
• legal fear, isolation, and engineered loneliness
• reasons families may end a nonviable pregnancy
• sacrifice myths, parental health, and competing needs
• loss hierarchies and why comparison harms
• language, stigma, and finding community
• continuing bonds and everyday rituals for memory
• resources for TFMR parents and dad-specific spaces

RELATED EPISODES:

E7: Grief, Choice, & Parenting After Loss (part 1)

BLAW 2025: Talking Platitudes with Miscarriage Mumma Support

SUPPORT PATHWAY

If you are a bereaved dad who's quietly struggling to cope with baby loss and you'd like to talk one-on-one, let's have a private 20-minute conversation by emailing info@dadalways.com.

If you want to stay in the loop of what's going on at Dad Always, go to dadalways.com to join the email list to receive updates.

Theme Music: "Love Letter” was created using AI as a creative tool, with lyrics and direction shaped by the personal experiences and emotional intent of the host.

Show Music from Soundstripe

Alone in the Light by Great Oaks