Why do trauma workers, first responders, and therapists almost never ask for help themselves? In this episode, I get honest about suicidal thoughts, how I understand my own suicidal part through an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens, and how to build a simple pre-safety plan you can start today.

This episode almost didn't happen. It started as a response to hearing that three police officers died by suicide in Ontario, but while I was trying to create it, I lost a former student, lost my own dog Winston, and got difficult news about my mom's health. I had to give myself permission to wait a couple of weeks before I could sit down and talk about this with you. I was living it while I was creating it.

We talk about what actually stops helpers from reaching out, and what actually helps. I also walk you through something I don't usually get this specific about: understanding a suicidal part not as something broken, but as a protector, and how to build your own pre-safety plan right where you're sitting, just in case someday you need it.

In this episode:

• Why helpers, first responders, and therapists hesitate to reach out for support
• Recognizing that suicidal thoughts can show up during grief
• The real research on what helps people take that first step
• Online therapy, counselling, peer support, and communities as lower-barrier ways into receiving help
• Understanding a suicidal part through an IFS lens, not as something broken, but as a protector
• Building a simple, personal pre-safety plan you can use starting today
• A closing prayer for anyone carrying grief right now

If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out. In both Canada and the US, you can call or text 988, anytime, day or night.

If this episode helps you, I'd love it if you shared it with someone who might need it too.

Until next time, be blessed and be a blessing.

Were you the child who worried about everyone else, kept the peace, or felt responsible for keeping people safe?

In this episode of Creative Trauma Recovery, I explore how childhood trauma, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), grief, family roles, people-pleasing, and the protector response can shape adults who become helpers, fixers, caregivers, therapists, first responders, nurses, armed forces, correctional officers, and the people everyone depends on.

I also share my own story of growing up as a quieter, more fearful middle child who became fiercely protective of my younger sister, and what happened inside me after she later died tragically in a car accident.

We’ll look at why traumatic grief can bring thoughts like:

“I should have…” “Why didn’t I…?” “If only…”

And how a protective part may keep searching for a way the ending could have been different.

You’ll also learn about the ACE questionnaire, childhood adversity, hyper-responsibility, people-pleasing, caregiving, vigilance, burnout, the serenity prayer, and how early protective roles can follow us into adulthood.

Most importantly, we explore a difficult but freeing truth:

You can love deeply. You can help. You can protect when you can.

But you don’t have to be the Savior. Jesus already is.

This episode includes a gentle reflection activity, faith-based encouragement, prayer, and practical questions to help you notice what your helper, fixer, peacemaker, or protector still believes it has to carry.

If you’ve spent your life being the strong one, the responsible one, the protector, or the person everyone depends on, this episode may help you understand yourself with more compassion and begin asking:

What is truly mine to carry, and what can I finally give back to God?

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

I want to dedicate this episode to the Correctional Officers who lost their lives in the line of duty last week in Alberta. And the Fire Fighters who lost their lives fighting fires near the Colorado / Utah border. Please join me in praying for their family, friends, and co-workers.

When helping others becomes your identity, burnout, trauma symptoms, or a forced career change can feel like losing yourself. In this episode of Creative Trauma Recovery, Christian trauma therapist Shelley Mountain-Collette explores why first responders, nurses, therapists, teachers, pastors, caregivers, crisis workers, and other helping professionals struggle to ask for help, set boundaries, take medical leave, or imagine a meaningful life beyond their professional role.

You'll learn how trauma exposure and helper identity can become intertwined, why stress can disconnect you from activities you once loved, and how to begin rediscovering who you are outside your work.

Topics include: first responder mental health, helper burnout, compassion fatigue, trauma recovery, PTSD, professional identity, occupational stress, Christian mental health, caregiver burnout, boundaries, and self-worth.

This episode includes a gentle creative exercise to help you reconnect with neglected parts of yourself, rebuild a healthier sense of identity, and take one small step toward healing.

Your work matters, but your worth has never depended on how much you can carry. You are more than your job, your uniform, your title, or the people who depend on you. Healing may begin when you make room for the rest of who you are.