For Valentine's Day recently, The Guardian newspaper asked its readers from across the globe to offer their tips for successful long-term romantic relationships.

If we're honest, we thought the results were going to be abysmal. Bubble baths, "happy wife, happy life", go salsa dancing together: that kind of thing.

But as you'll hear, the tips themselves were a decent mix of useful motherhood and apple pie truths and some left-field gems.

We go back and forth in rapid fire with our views on the 16 tips, which range from "lower your expectations" (we love that one!) to "laugh together often" (we're a bit less keen on that one).

Here's the link:

‘Love, honor, cherish, accommodate’: 16 hard-earned relationship tips

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It's a confusing message: you should be vulnerable and open up to the risk that your partner could hurt you, but also that too much dependence risks tipping over into unhealthy co=dependence, merger, and the loss of a decent sense of self.

So where is that sweet spot, and how do you know if you're falling too far on either end of the spectrum of independence/co-dependence?

Matt and Graham try to make sense of all this in a somewhat free-flowing, going-all-over-the-place episode of Crazy In Love.

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Matt and Graham delve into the "no apprenticeship" model of relationships in this episode.

We repeat what we see modelled to us in our own childhood homes. Often, that's two people trying their best to stay together without the skills to make a relationship flourish: conflict resolution, active listening, asking for what you want without whining or retreating into contempt and silence.

We don't learn decent relationship skills at school, either. Any relationship education is fostered on helpful, but limited, skills - empathy and trust, for example. Great for friendships and not making enemies in the workplace, but maybe less helpful for romantic relationships and marriages.

And then there's the culture at large - emphasising unhelpful myths about The One and the romantic dash to the airport. Great for the first few months of lust. Less great for long-term love.

So, what do we do if we haven't had a decent relationship apprenticeship? What if we're stuck with insecure attachment? How can we make love last?

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