Calories in, calories out. Harm reduction in substance abuse. Tiny improvements, day in, day out. All very sensible - but can modest, realistic interventions drive genuine transformation in your relationship?

Matt and Graham argue that yes, you can achieve a lot with relatively little. A small number of couples therapy sessions, with some key interventions, can transform an unhappy relationship.

But what are those interventions and how do you practice them?

In the modern world, we are told to look for romantic partners who "complete" us. They should not only be someone who we love, but also someone who encourages us to live our best life, to achieve our individual goals and self-actualise.

This is a big shift in the last fifty years. We're increasingly sceptical of relationships like the Clintons built on security and shared socio-economic or career interests.

Are we asking too much of our relationships? Can we expect one person to offer us security, help us raise our children, but also be exciting and dynamic and help us grow as individuals? Can love absorb all these expectations? If we are asking too much, how do we shift our expectations in more realistic but healthy directions?

Matt and Graham try to weave their way through these tricky questions in today's episode.

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Big "T" trauma. Little "t" trauma. The likes of Gabor Maté and Bessel Van Der Kolk have brought the understanding of trauma far beyond the field of mental health and into everyday life.

But what actually is trauma? How does it impact people's personalities?

If everything difficult is labelled trauma, does that dilute our understanding and treatment of it?

And, of course - how does trauma manifest in relationships? What are the links between trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences? Between trauma and attachment styles?

How do couples deal with their trauma in healthy ways?

All this and more covered by Graham and Matt in this episode of Crazy In Love.

Contact us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com