High-conflict co-parenting can leave you feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells—every text message, exchange, or court filing has the potential to pull you into another cycle of conflict. In this episode, Sol sits down with Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, therapist, family lawyer, mediator, and creator of the internationally recognized BIFF® communication method.

Bill shares four decades of practical wisdom on how to communicate without escalating conflict, why trying to “teach the other parent a lesson” almost always backfires, and how parents can protect their children by modeling emotional regulation instead of getting pulled into reactivity. They also explore the promises and pitfalls of AI in co-parenting communication, Bill’s new SLIC framework for setting boundaries that actually work, and why the skills we teach our children today can help break cycles of conflict for generations to come.

Whether you’re navigating a difficult co-parent, supporting clients through family conflict, or simply looking for a more peaceful way forward, this conversation is packed with practical tools you can begin using immediately.

Learn more about Bill Eddy and the High Conflict Institute: https://highconflictinstitute.com/

Explore Conflict Influencer and the New Ways for Families program: https://conflictinfluencer.com/

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/r_Cktp5OGvk

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Keywords

Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute, BIFF method, SLIC, high-conflict co-parenting, difficult co-parent, narcissistic co-parent, parallel parenting, co-parent communication, family court, emotional regulation, boundaries, setting limits, consequences, conflict resolution, AI communication, New Ways for Families, parenting after divorce

Key Takeaways

• The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) helps reduce conflict without expecting the other person to change.
• One of the biggest communication mistakes is trying to teach the other person a lesson.
• Avoid the “Three A’s” in high-conflict communication: advice, admonishments, and apologies.
• Writing your own BIFF responses builds the mental habits that make conflict feel less overwhelming.
• AI can be a useful editing tool, but it shouldn’t replace developing your own communication skills.
• Children learn conflict patterns from their parents, including emotional regulation and relationship skills.
• Hostility and unpredictability are especially damaging for children in high-conflict homes.
• Teaching children flexible thinking, emotional regulation, moderate behavior, and self-reflection helps build lifelong resilience.
• Setting boundaries without meaningful consequences rarely changes high-conflict behavior.
• You’re not responsible for managing another person’s emotions—you are responsible for protecting your own peace.

Chapter Highlights

00:00 – Introducing Bill Eddy and the BIFF Method
03:25 – How BIFF Was Created
07:13 – Common BIFF Mistakes and the “Three A’s”
09:56 – AI, Communication, and Building Your BIFF Muscle
16:53 – How High Conflict Affects Children
22:41 – Teaching Kids the Four Big Skills for Life
25:21 – Can High-Conflict People Change?
27:20 – Introducing SLIC: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences
30:14 – Real Co-Parenting Boundary Examples
34:03 – How Family Court Has Changed Over Four Decades
38:05 – The Future of High-Conflict Family Court
40:14 – Where to Learn More About Bill Eddy

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What if the legal divorce is over—but the emotional relationship is still running the show?

In this episode, Sol sits down with relationship coach, therapist, author, and Save the Marriage podcast host Dr. Lee Baucom to explore why high-conflict dynamics often continue long after a marriage ends. Together, they unpack the hidden emotional systems that keep co-parents stuck in the same painful patterns and explain how lasting change can begin with just one person choosing to respond differently.

You’ll learn why reacting to your co-parent often reinforces conflict, how to reclaim your sense of agency even in difficult legal battles, what an “emotional divorce” really means, and why letting go of the need to control your ex can create a healthier future for both you and your children.

Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship or simply want to build healthier relationships going forward, this conversation offers practical insights and hope.

Learn more about Dr. Lee Baucom: http://SaveTheMarriage.com

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PB-SEy2dadY

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

High-conflict co-parenting, emotional divorce, family systems, co-parent communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, divorce recovery, family court, forgiveness, trust, parenting after divorce, personal responsibility, child wellbeing

Highlights

• Why divorce doesn’t end the relationship when you share children.
• The difference between reacting emotionally and responding from your values.
• How one parent can change the co-parenting dynamic—even if the other doesn’t.
• The three things you can actually control in a high-conflict relationship.
• Why trying to control your ex often keeps conflict alive.
• Understanding “emotional divorce” and why it matters.
• How resentment and disconnection fuel ongoing conflict.
• The difference between forgiveness, trust, apology, and reconciliation.
• What children need most during and after divorce.
• Practical ways to reduce regret and parent with integrity.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
01:00 Meet Dr. Lee Baucom
04:45 Why Conflict Continues After Divorce
08:25 Responding vs. Reacting
12:10 Breaking People-Pleasing and Conflict Cycles
13:40 The Three Things You Can Control
15:34 BestInterest AI Co-Parenting App
15:58 Regaining Agency During High-Conflict Divorce
21:00 Family Systems and Emotional Patterns
28:35 Olive Branches, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward
31:00 Rebuilding Trust After Divorce
33:10 Helping Children Through Divorce
37:25 What Emotionally Healthy Co-Parents Do Differently
38:50 What Is an Emotional Divorce?
40:55 Final Advice for Parents Navigating Divorce
42:30 Where to Find Dr. Lee Baucom

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Nearly one in four adult children are estranged from at least one parent—a trend that’s becoming increasingly common, yet rarely discussed.

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with parenting expert Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today and author of It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent. Together they explore why parent-child relationships break down in adulthood, how divorce impacts family relationships across generations, and what parents can do now to build lasting trust with their children.

Whether you’re raising young children, navigating a divorce, or supporting an adult child through one, this conversation offers practical guidance for creating stronger family relationships that endure through life’s biggest transitions.

Learn more about Catherine Hickem: https://www.parentingadultchildrentoday.com/

Get Catherine's book, It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Never-Late-Great-Parent/dp/197179502X

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/H8pqZswdibE

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords

adult child estrangement, parent-child relationships, parenting adult children, divorce and adult children, family estrangement, co-parenting, high-conflict divorce, grandparents and divorce, family communication, healthy boundaries, unconditional love, relationship repair, emotional safety, parenting after divorce, family healing

Key Takeaways

• Why adult-child estrangement is becoming so common
• The parenting mistakes that unintentionally push adult children away
• How divorce affects relationships across multiple generations
• What adult children really need from their parents during a divorce
• How grandparents can provide support without making conflict worse
• Why honesty, curiosity, and respect matter more than taking sides
• The “Four Pillars” of healthy relationships with adult children
• How unconditional love creates lifelong trust

Chapter Highlights

00:00 Introduction
01:40 The growing epidemic of parent-child estrangement
04:10 The most common reasons adult children cut off parents
08:20 Catherine’s own divorce and what it taught her about parenting
11:55 What adult children need from their parents during divorce
14:55 How grandparents can best support a child going through divorce
19:20 When your adult child asks you to cut off their ex
25:05 The transition from parenting children to parenting adults
25:30 The Four Pillars of healthy relationships with adult children
31:55 How parents can become a safe harbor instead of a source of judgment
33:40 Where to learn more from Catherine Hickem

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What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond