In this episode, we dive into those moments when we’re upset and reach for connection, but instead of closeness, we get distance, defensiveness, or overwhelm.

And somehow, trying harder only makes it worse.

We explore what’s really happening in those moments, and why our attempts at connection don’t always land the way we hope.

This isn’t about doing it “right.”

It’s about understanding the deeper patterns at play, and how to stay grounded when connection doesn’t happen the way we hoped.

We’ll look at what it means to grow our capacity to stay with ourselves, even when others can’t meet us in that moment.

Because real change doesn’t come from perfect communication.

It comes from learning how to relate to ourselves and others with more awareness, steadiness, and care.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

What if trying to be a “good partner” is actually hurting your relationship?

In this episode, we explore a powerful and often invisible dynamic:

how self-sacrifice, overgiving, and emotional suppression can quietly erode connection.

When one partner takes on the role of “giver,” it can create a cycle of resentment, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection, despite the best intentions.

In this episode's coaching conversation, we unpack:

• Why overgiving creates pressure, not connection
• The hidden cost of self-sacrifice in relationships
• How to stay present with emotions without trying to fix or manage them
• The difference between needs and strategies (and why it matters)
• What it actually looks like to stay connected to yourself in a relationship

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re “doing everything right" and still feels unseen or unmet.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube

There are moments in life when our inner world gets so loud that we stop trusting ourselves.

We feel everything (love, grief, longing, confusion) and instead of clarity, we find ourselves pulled in different directions. It's difficult to tell if our feelings are guiding us or misleading us.

In this episode, I talk with Kate, who is navigating the end of a relational “pause” with someone she still deeply cares about. As the moment of decision approaches, she finds herself overwhelmed by conflicting emotions and unsure how to access her own discernment.

What unfolds is a powerful exploration of:

• Why clarity becomes so difficult when emotions are intense
• The tension between wanting repair and wanting to move forward in relationships
• How emotional flooding is often a sign of healing, not dysfunction
• Why learning to relate to your feelings is more important than trying to control or interpret them

We learn we don’t need to trust every feeling, but we can learn to trust our capacity to stay with ourselves inside our feelings.

Read more on the blog.

Want more direct access to me? I warmly invite you to become a member of The School of Human Connection.

Join regular live calls where students in the school bring real relationship dilemmas. We slow things down and I'll help you see what's actually happening and how to respond with more integrity, strength and care.

You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.

Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Join the School of Human Connection
• Hop on my free Wednesday live call
• Follow me on YouTube