What happens when you've spent a lifetime being silent—and suddenly, you can't do it anymore?

In this powerful conversation, Connection Codes coach Laurel Simpson shares the moment that changed everything: a walk with her husband John where she realized she had to rebel against the silence that was suffocating her marriage and her mental health.

After years of caretaking her mom through Alzheimer's, living in chronic dysregulation, and navigating her husband's anger while drowning in her own fear, Laurel reached a breaking point. The phrase that haunted her since childhood—"shut up, shut down, shut off"—was no longer sustainable.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• The moment Laurel decided to rebel against emotional silence and what gave her the courage to finally speak up
• Why anger was shutting her down and how she learned to navigate it in her marriage
• The phrase that changed everything: "I have fear in sharing this, but..." and how it transformed her relationship with John
• How to do "one brave thing every day" and why it's more powerful than you think
• Why Connection Codes training isn't just for coaches—it's for anyone who wants to become a better human
• The difference between eliminating fear and processing through fear to take brave action
• How to recognize when you're living in chronic dysregulation and what to do about it
• Why we're not designed to suffer in silence—and how to get back to your authentic voice

For couples navigating crisis, individuals feeling voiceless in their relationships, or anyone who's been told to "shut up" their entire life—this episode is for you.

Laurel demonstrates the Core Emotion Wheel and shares her current experience with grief, transition, and the ongoing work of staying connected to herself and others.

Keywords: emotional health, mental health podcast, marriage communication, breaking emotional silence, chronic dysregulation, processing emotions, finding your voice, relationship healing, emotional safety, nervous system regulation, marriage after trauma, caregiver burnout, emotional processing, healthy relationships, leadership through vulnerability

Resources mentioned:

• Connection Codes Foundations Course
• School of Connection (8-week program starting September 30th)
• Connection Codes Coaching Cohort

Ready to get started?

• Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Find Laurel Simpson on the Connection Codes website under "All Coaches" (https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches)

What happens when a simple email about work scripts triggers a complete relationship nosedive? In this raw, unfiltered episode, we witness Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill work through an actual conflict from the day before—and discover how identity loss was at the root of their disconnect.

This isn't theory. This is real marriage work happening in real-time.

You'll discover:

• Why the first 60 seconds of conflict can determine your entire day
• How "being the workhorse" or "the fixer" can destroy emotional connection
• The difference between acknowledging pain vs. trying to fix it (and why one creates intimacy while the other creates distance)
• Why logistics never matter (and what actually does)
• How to identify when you've tuned out fear to maintain your identity
• The surprising reason why saying "you don't have to do it all" can strip someone of their identity
• Real tools for repair when you've already spiraled into disconnection

Key Timestamps:

• 3:12 - The conflict begins: How a missed acknowledgment triggered everything
• 18:05 - Identifying the first unprocessed emotion (the make-or-break moment)
• 26:10 - The workhorse identity: Why "getting things done" becomes self-destructive
• 39:02 - The validation breakthrough: What acknowledgment actually does
• 47:08 - Walking through the Core Emotion Wheel together

This episode is essential for:

• Couples who keep having the "same fight" in different packaging
• Leaders carrying identity roles that no longer serve them
• Anyone who's been called "the strong one" and wonders why they feel so exhausted
• Parents navigating empty nest transitions or career changes
• Anyone who feels unseen in their closest relationships

Resources Mentioned:

Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast

Work with a certified Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Explore the School of Connection for deep-dive marriage transformation

Topics: marriage conflict resolution, emotional health in relationships, identity crisis in marriage, emotional processing, leadership and emotional intelligence, relationship repair, overcoming disconnection, mental health in marriage, core emotions, validation in relationships

Episode 188: Identity Over Truth - Why We're All Desperate to Be Seen

In this powerful episode, Tera Wages and Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explore why humans prioritize identity over truth—and how this fundamental need shapes everything from our marriages to the polarizing world we see online.

What You'll Learn:

• Why identity is your #1 human need (backed by the Still Face Experiment)
• The 5 critical questions your brain is constantly asking
• How identity loss makes us do things we'd never recommend to others
• Why "calling someone back to truth" never works in relationships
• The real reason people stay in lower-paying jobs (it's not about money)
• How to recognize when someone is losing identity—and what to do instead
• Why the "us vs them" narrative is more dangerous than you think
• Practical tools to give identity instead of stripping it away

Key Topics Covered:

• Emotional health and regulation
• Marriage communication and conflict resolution
• Leadership development and team culture
• Mental health and depression
• Identity formation and validation
• Connection vs disconnection
• Emotional intelligence in relationships
• Workplace culture and employee retention

Resources:

• Get the FREE Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast
• Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches
• Learn about Connection Codes training for businesses and leaders: https://connectioncodes.co/at-work

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