Somebody says something to you. On the surface it sounds fine. Almost like a compliment.

Then your stomach does that thing.

WAYMENT! Was that shade?

Season 2 opens with the question every Black woman in business has asked herself, and then talked herself out of asking.

I share 3 stories. One I had to decode. One I didn't have to decode at all. And one where I chucked dueces.

There's no HR department in your business. You're it. So you're going to have to decide.

Ready to stop performing?

Start With Self is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Go back to who you were before the degrees, before corporate, before you learned how to shrink. Introductory rate: $97 → mellynated.com/self

Got a story? I know I'm not the only one. Come tell it on Substack, where we go deeper on every episode: substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

More: codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

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Timestamps:

1:01 Was that shade?

2:05 What a microaggression actually is

4:40 Why entrepreneurs have it different

6:08 "You like to question people"

9:56 When they villainize your superpower

12:47 "Your hair gives beach vibes"

14:19 Braids are not seasonal

17:08 When it's bigger than a micro

19:50 The resignation

21:15 "Educate me" is not your job

22:30 Clock it, correct it, or get the hell on

27:06 What eating it actually costs

You've heard Mel talk about stopping the performance. But what does it actually look like when you do?

In this episode, Mel sits down with career development and leadership coach Torriel Harris for a conversation that gets real about what happened when two Black women decided to stop code switching in their businesses, their branding, and how they show up every single day.

Links:

Torriel's Command the Room, Sis Program: torrielharris.net/ctrs

TikTok about President of Heritage Foundation: tiktok.com/t/ZP8pSQgt6/

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Be a Codeswitch Rebellion guest for season 2: mellynated.com/podcast

Timestamps:

0:00 — Introduction & Guest Overview

1:06 — Show Intro

1:45 — Welcome, Torriel Harris

2:17 — Torriel's Work & Why She Chose It

2:52 — Torriel's Journey: New York, California & Back

5:39 — How Her Business Was Born

6:13 — Fear of Niching Down to Black & Brown Women

7:53 — The Business Coach Who Pushed White Male Role Models

9:05 — Dealing With Trolls & Staying in Your Lane

10:12 — The Stats: Promotion Disparities for Women of Color

12:52 — The Movement to Get 1,000 Black & Brown Women Promoted 1

4:03 — Torriel's Personal Journey of Self-Acceptance

15:08 — Rejecting White Standards of Professionalism

16:15 — The Anti-Racist Art Center That Changed Everything

18:32 — Redefining What Professionalism Actually Means

21:17 — "Professionally Dope" — Knowing Your Zone of Genius

22:54 — Authentic Marketing: What You See Is What You Get

24:35 — The Layoff & The Journey Back to Self

27:26 — Self-Acceptance & Personal Branding as Identity Work

33:22 — Torriel's Program: Command the Room Sis

35:32 — Stop Downplaying Your Greatness

37:08 — Black Women Carry the Weight of the World

38:18 — Black Women as Catalysts for Change (The TikTok)

39:23 — Own Your Accomplishments

40:28 — Wrap Up & Season 2 Preview

You've been rewriting the same email. Tweaking the same post. Waiting until it's ready.

But what if ready never comes?

In this episode, Mel gets into the lie we've all been sold about perfection, and why the standard you've been chasing was never about excellence in the first place.

Links:

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Introduction: The Myth of Perfection (00:00:00)

The Impossibility of Perfection (00:01:20)

The Root of Perfectionism (00:02:27)

Seeking Acceptance Through Perfection (00:03:33)

Digital Brand Audit Promotion (00:04:04)

Client Story: The Professional Organizer (00:04:42)

What We're Really Striving For (00:06:00)

Authenticity is the Closest Thing to Perfection (00:07:06) polished.

A Call to Action: Stop Overthinking (00:08:23)

Personal Story: Overcoming Speaking Insecurities (00:09:32)

Conclusion: Serve Those Who Need You (00:11:38)

You've been watching what everyone else is doing online and trying to keep up with the aesthetic, the content style, the messaging.

You think it's a good move, but that's how you become completely forgettable.

In this episode, Mel gets into why your personal brand has zero competition and why the one thing you've been seeing as a weakness is actually the whole point.

Links:

Exploring the Impact of Social Comparisons on Gen Z: cybersmile.org/2023/06/16/exploring-the-impact-of-social-comparisons-on-gen-z/

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Introduction to Comparison in Business (00:00:00)

The Problem with Mimicking Competitors (00:01:12)

The Alarming Statistics of Social Media Comparison (00:02:32)

The Illusion of "Better" (00:03:44)

The Dangers of "Fronting for the Gram" (00:04:36)

Your Unique Voice Matters (00:05:48)

The Safety Trap of Mimicry (00:07:48)

Promotional Break: Digital Brand Audit (00:08:55)

The Bread Aisle Analogy (00:09:34)

Building Loyalty Through Consistency (00:10:40)

Your People Are for You (00:11:41)

The Abundance Mindset (00:12:45)

Authenticity is Your Differentiator (00:14:03)

Conclusion and Final Thoughts (00:15:15)

Podcast Outro (00:15:37)

You've been calling it safe. But what if it's not?

The conditioning taught you that staying comfortable was smart. That not rocking the boat was wise. That waiting was responsible.

In this episode, Melanie gets into the real cost of playing it safe and why the most dangerous thing you can do for your business might be the thing that feels the most comfortable.

Links:

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Playing It Safe in Business and Work (00:04:21)

The Risk of Inaction (00:05:27)

Personal Anecdote: Stuck in Comfort (00:06:23)

The Reality of Job Security (00:07:30)

Practical Steps to Stop Playing It Safe (00:08:28)

Conditioning and the Cost of Playing It Safe (00:09:24)

Challenging the Traditional Path (00:10:21)

The Comfort of Familiarity and Risk of Authenticity (00:11:19)

Episode Closing & Key Takeaway (00:12:32)

Call to Action & Farewell (00:12:43)

This one is going to make you rethink every time you gave the credit away.

When someone calls you a leader, what do you do?

Do you deflect, laugh it off, or pass the credit to the team, then call it humility?

But what if that's not humility at all? What if that's just conditioning?

In this episode, Mel gets into something nobody talks about when it comes to leadership. And once you hear it, you're going to start seeing yourself very differently.

Links:

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Challenging Traditional Leadership (00:00:00)

Podcast Introduction & Mission (00:00:20)

Black Women and Leadership Humility (00:01:00)

Trust and Authentic Leadership (00:02:34)

Self Leadership: Knowing and Trusting Yourself (00:03:46)

People Leadership: Leading Others Authentically (00:05:10)

Examples of Authentic Leadership (00:06:19)

Promo: Digital Brand Audit (00:08:18)

Authenticity vs. Performance in Leadership (00:08:56)

Thought Leadership & Industry Impact (00:09:29)

Creating Representation and Community (00:10:54)

Challenging Industry Norms (00:11:57)

Making a Broader Impact (00:13:09)

Rejecting Performance, Embracing Authenticity (00:14:24)

Reflecting on Leadership and Impact (00:15:22)

Episode Closing & Substack Invitation (00:16:16)

You didn't invent the way you shrink. Someone passed it down to you. And before her, someone passed it down to her. In this episode, Melanie goes back (way back) to trace where professional conditioning for Black women actually started, why it made sense then, and why it's still running your business now.

Links:

Black Women and International Women's Day, a story: aaregistry.org/story/black-women-and-international-womens-day/

The Devastation of Black Wall Street: daily.jstor.org/the-devastation-of-black-wall-street/

The Unique Experience of Black Women in Corporate America: issuu.com/elcinfo/docs/elc_main_winter_2021_03mar21_v04_single_pgs/s/11837237

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Subscribe to the Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Introduction: Why We Move the Way We Do (00:00:00)

Inherited Professional Behaviors & Historical Roots (00:01:23)

Workplace Discrimination Through the 20th Century (00:02:53)

Building Black Communities & Black Wall Street (00:04:20)

Generational Conditioning for Survival (00:05:47)

Modern Black Women Entrepreneurs & Survival Branding (00:07:18)

Persistent Systemic Bias & The Need to Unlearn (00:08:56)

Reflection & Call to Action (00:10:24)

Conclusion: The Depth of the Issue & Authenticity (00:12:03)

Outro & Invitation to Continue the Conversation (00:13:09)

Codeswitching doesn't stop when you quit your job. It follows you. It shows up in the content you water down before you post it, the offers you soften before you launch them, the opportunities you don't even apply for because you're already convinced the answer is no. And because it feels normal (and like the right thing to do) you don't even question it.

In this episode, Mel breaks down 3 real costs of performing in your business and how they are keeping you underpaid in a business you built yourself.

If you've been building a business that looks like you but doesn't quite feel like you, this episode is going to name exactly why.

Links:

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Subscribe to the Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

The High Cost of Code Switching (00:00:00)

Podcast Introduction (00:00:49)

Corporate Conditioning in Entrepreneurship (00:01:29)

Cost #1: Drained Energy (00:02:20)

Ad: Digital Brand Audit (00:06:21)

Cost #2: Stifled Creativity (00:06:59)

Cost #3: Missed Opportunities (00:09:14)

The Ultimate Cost: Money (00:12:42)

Podcast Outro (00:14:16)