The Stories We Tell Ourselves — Rewriting Holiday Stress from the Inside Out

The holidays don’t just stress us out because of busy schedules or family dynamics — often, it’s the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening that quietly create anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional distance.

In this episode of Closer to You, we explore how your thoughts shape your nervous system, your emotional experience, and your ability to stay calm and connected with your mother or daughter during the holiday season.

Once your body learns how to feel safe, the next step is teaching your mind to believe it. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking: “Why am I the only one who cares?” “She didn’t text back — she must be upset.” “If I don’t do this perfectly, everyone will be disappointed.” —you’re not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do… just a little too well.

In this episode, Steph gently blends cognitive awareness with nervous system regulation, helping you notice, name, and rewrite automatic negative thoughts so they no longer run your season — or your relationships.

You’ll learn how expectations quietly trigger stress, how your body reacts to worried thoughts as if they’re real threats, and how small mindset shifts can bring real calm, clarity, and connection. Because peace isn’t just about what happens around you — it’s about what happens inside you.

✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why automatic negative thoughts spike stress so quickly How your thoughts send direct signals to your nervous system.

The hidden impact of expectations and the “should” trap.

The simple thought–feeling–body connection explained clearly.

A practical Pause–Name–Reframe tool to calm your mind in real time.

Why your brain has a negativity bias — and how to gently retrain it.

How gratitude “glimmers” help your body register safety.

Why changing your inner story can change your entire holiday experience.

Need more support? Go to- Stephchaffee.com to connect with Steph

The Holiday Survival Checklist — When You Are Too Tired To Do It All-A New Way To Do The Holidays

📝 Episode Description / Show Notes The holidays are supposed to feel joyful… So why do they often leave you exhausted, overwhelmed, and quietly fantasizing about escaping to a cabin in the woods?

In this episode of Closer to You, we’re talking about a new way to do the holidays — one that protects your nervous system, honors your emotional limits, and helps you stay genuinely connected to the people you love most. If you’re the one who carries the calendar, the traditions, the emotional temperature of the room, and everyone’s expectations — this episode is especially for you.

Steph gently walks you through a Holiday Survival Checklist rooted in nervous system science, emotional boundaries, and real-life compassion. You’ll learn why the holidays feel so overwhelming, how emotional over-functioning quietly drains your peace, and what it looks like to move from being the family peacemaker to becoming a steady peace holder.

This episode isn’t about doing less out of resentment — it’s about doing things differently so you can stay calm, present, and connected without burning yourself out. Because peace doesn’t come from holding everything together. It comes from learning how to hold yourself steady.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why the holidays overload your nervous system (and why that’s not a personal failure) How constant stimulation and family dynamics impact emotional regulation The hidden emotional labor many women carry during the holidays.

Why “peacekeeping” leads to burnout — and what creates real peace instead How to plan for peace instead of perfection.

Why choosing your pace is a nervous-system strategy, not selfishness Simple, in-the-moment regulation tools you can use at the dinner table. How to have honest, loving conversations about your limits The powerful shift from peacemaker to peace holder How protecting your peace actually deepens family connection.

🧠 Key Takeaway You don’t have to control the room to keep the connection.

When your nervous system stays grounded, you become the calm others can feel. ✍️ Reflection Prompts As you move through this season, gently ask yourself: What value do I want to guide me this holiday season?

What would “good enough” look like this year? How do I want my body to feel when it’s all over — peaceful, proud, present?

There are no right answers — just honest ones. 💛 Ready for Support This Season? If the holidays feel complicated, heavy, or emotionally loaded — you don’t have to navigate them alone.

✨ Schedule a Relationship Renewal Call today, at stephchaffee.com and together we’ll begin creating calmer communication, healthier boundaries, and a relationship with your mother or daughter that feels peaceful, connected, and true to who you are.

This Episode is all about-holiday stress relief for women, nervous system regulation during holidays, mother daughter relationship healing, emotional boundaries with family, trauma-informed parenting, managing holiday overwhelm, family dynamics during holidays, emotional safety in relationships, calming anxiety at family gatherings, polyvagal theory holidays, emotional regulation tools, Christian women emotional health, healing generational patterns, communication tools for families, staying calm during holidays, holiday burnout recovery, mother daughter podcast

Episode 5: The Weight We Carry — Guilt, Shame & the Mother-Daughter Cycle

Have you ever laid awake at night replaying a conversation with your mom or daughter? That little voice saying “I shouldn’t have said that… I should’ve been more patient…” — only to feel guilt slip into the heavier weight of shame?

In this episode of Closer to You, we’re unpacking the real difference between guilt and shame, how they show up in your nervous system, and how to move from self-punishment into self-compassion.

You’ll hear:

• The key difference between guilt (I did something wrong) and shame (I am something wrong).
• How guilt can guide us back toward repair while shame keeps us stuck.
• The “Shame Reset” tool you can use anytime that heavy voice takes over.
• What happens when we suppress emotions.
• A 3-step process to loosen guilt and repair connection with small but powerful gestures.

✨ Plus, I’ll share journal prompts to help you soften guilt, release shame, and choose connection — again and again.

Because here’s the truth: guilt and shame don’t mean you’re broken. They mean you care. And connection with your mom or daughter is always possible — even if it’s messy, even if it takes time.

Resources + Links:

• Grab my free guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset
• Book your Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com

If this episode encouraged you, please leave a review — it helps other women find hope and connection, too. And don’t forget to share it with a friend who needs this reminder today.

Episode 4: Boundaries Without Walls — How to Protect Your Peace & Deepen Connection

Have you ever set a boundary with your mom or daughter and instantly felt guilty—or avoided setting one at all because you didn’t want to cause distance? You’re not alone. Boundaries can feel scary, especially in relationships where love runs deep.

In this episode of Closer to You, we’re reframing boundaries as acts of love, not rejection. You’ll hear why unclear or violated boundaries stir up anxiety in your nervous system, and how to begin creating ones that actually invite more connection, not less.

We’ll explore:

• Why boundaries aren’t walls, but doors that let love in safely.
• The nervous system signals that tell you it’s time to set a limit.
• Small, doable ways to start practicing boundaries with clarity and calm.

If you’ve ever thought, “I want closeness, but I also need space,” this conversation will give you the encouragement and tools to start finding both.

✨ Plus, I’ll share journal prompts to help you notice where your limits are and how honoring them can create more peace in your relationship.

Resources & Links

• Free Guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset
• Work with me: Book a Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com

Episode 3: Repair & Reconnection — What It Really Takes

Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your mom or daughter thinking, “I don’t know if we can ever come back from this”? That ache in your chest, that pit in your stomach—it’s real. But it doesn’t mean the story is over.

In this episode of Closer to You, we’re exploring:

• Why repair feels so hard, especially when there’s been silence or repeated hurt.
• How your nervous system remembers pain and braces for it—even before the words are spoken.
• Why reconnection doesn’t require perfection, just presence and softness.

You’ll also hear a powerful reminder from Dr. Bruce Perry: “We are hurt in relationships, and we heal in relationships.”

If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for us?” this conversation will show you that repair is possible—one safe, gentle step at a time.

✨ Plus, I’ll guide you through journal prompts to help you imagine what rebuilding trust could look like in your relationship.

Resources & Links

• Free Guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset
• Work with me: Book a Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com

Episode 1: When Connection Feels Hard — The 3-Step Reset to Stop Arguments

Have you ever wanted so badly to connect with your mom or daughter, only to feel like there’s this invisible wall between you? You love each other deeply, but the conversation spirals into an argument—or ends in silence that feels heavy. You walk away drained, misunderstood, and wondering if things will ever change.

In this first episode of Closer to You, we’re talking about:

• Why connection can feel so hard even when love is there.
• What your nervous system has to do with those exhausting “same old” arguments.
• A simple 3-step reset you can practice in the moment to shift from reactivity back into calm—in under 60 seconds.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why do I get so reactive with her?” or “How do I keep calm when I feel triggered?”—this conversation will give you a starting point for changing the cycle.

✨ And at the end, I’ll share a free video guide where I walk you step-by-step through this reset so you can begin practicing it today.

Resources & Links

• Free Guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset
• Work with me: Book a Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com

Episode 2: The Mother Wound — Naming, Understanding & Healing It

For so many women, the mother wound is something carried quietly but rarely named out loud. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your mom. It doesn’t mean she didn’t try. It means that somewhere along the way, certain needs went unmet—and those tender places can still echo in how you show up today with your mom, your daughter, or even yourself.

In this episode of Closer to You, we’ll explore:

• What the mother wound actually is (and isn’t).
• Why siblings can have completely different experiences of the “same” parent.
• How your nervous system holds on to old hurts—and why you might feel like a little girl again around your mom.
• Gentle, body-based steps to begin shifting from ache to healing.

We’ll also reflect on Dr. Gabor Maté’s words: “No two children have the same parents.” When you understand how true this is, you can release some of the blame and begin moving toward compassion—for yourself and maybe even for her.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why does she still trigger me?” or “Why do I feel invisible around her?”—this episode will help you name it, tend to it, and take the first steps toward healing.

✨ Plus, I’ll share journal prompts to guide you as you reflect on where old wounds still linger and how to bring yourself the compassion you’ve always needed.

Resources & Links

• Free Guide: 3-Step Nervous System Reset
• Work with Steph: Book your Relationship Renewal Call at stephchaffee.com