It's a thiccy so we have two parts for y'all. Lawmakers have been so busted the house that Harvey Levin has opened a TMZ bureau in DC to track down lawmaker CUNKS like Ted Cruz, Lindsay Graham, and Eric Swalwell. Swalwell in particular has been getting his dirty laundry aired out, with leaked bideos and images that caused him to resign in disgrace. Elizabeth Warren made one of the best social media posts of the year with a graphic declaring that she has questions for MrBeast. Companies are embracing AEI, aka DEI for AI, by uploading these bots into everything. Allbirds, in particular, has gone from soy-green armpit-hair shoes to offering "GPU as a Service," or GAAS for short.

Howdy girls, we're back for another episode with our cast of viewsmaxxers. It's clear the veil between X and our soyciety has officially lifted, and the monsters + DOGE designers are spilling out to dictate news and policy. James Fisback, a candidate for Florida Governor, is a right-wing troll gaining steam with College Rethuglicans and America Firsters, he's gone viral for his proposed sin tax on OnlyStans creators. Clavicle is also catapulting to mainstream views, being mentioned on dusty news shows and getting parodied on SNL. Elon Musk is back on his bullshiz on X, tweeting every three seconds and sharing chibi henlo anime AI MESS with Nicki Minaj. Marc Andreessen gets flamed on X for an unflattering photo edit of his egghead and for saying that he has no introspection while on a dusty podcast. It's clear our society is internetmaxxing, but lowkey in the worst way.

Oh hentie, it's a mess out here in 2026. Your hosts kick off their first episode of the year with a deep dive into the World Economic Forum, a collection of globalist dusties in Davos, Switzerland to share their worst ideas. Alex Karp of Palantir took the stage to rehabilitate his image, and Elon Musk went alien for views as he tries to seem palatable to European fuglies. A recent release of Epstein files revealed that Elonka was begging to visit PDF island, but was turned away by Ghislaine Maxwell. Our theory was proven that the deep state haaaates him and his DOGE Designers. In the USA, we continue to fall victim to MESS. Erika Kirk and Candace Owens are at it again, claiming that they see Charlie Kirk when they astral project at night. Bari Weiss's CBS Evening News host Tony Dokoupil has tanked the program's ratings by 25% over last year, effectively putting the show in the ground. You know Mizz Bari is Free Pressed. And a new meme page has entered the chat, as Torta Coin takes off on Insta, netting more likes clicks and shares than the Free Press has ever gotten in its lifetime. Men will have Tortas or NADA! Enjoy sisterz.