What happens when the pressure to be a calm, patient, endlessly capable mother collides with the reality of modern motherhood?

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt, I’m joined by clinical psychologist, author and maternal anger specialist Dr Caroline Boyd to explore one of the most taboo and shame-filled parts of motherhood: maternal rage.

We talk about why anger so often feels incompatible with being a “good mother”, why guilt and shame rush in after we snap, and why maternal anger needs to be understood in the wider context of overload, unequal responsibility, impossible expectations, sensory overwhelm and lack of support.

Caroline also explains why anger can be useful information rather than something we simply need to get rid of, and why repair matters far more than getting motherhood “right” all the time.

I also share a very recent moment of rage from my own motherhood, involving an extremely unrelaxing bath, a five-year-old and a slipper being thrown into the water, and what it taught me about my own need for space.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The anger–guilt–shame cycle
• Why maternal anger doesn’t exist in a vacuum
• Mental load, overstimulation and unmet needs
• Why suppressing anger can make it come out sideways
• The importance of naming what we’re feeling
• How to step out of the spiral when you feel close to snapping
• Rupture, repair and “good enough” mothering
• Why we need to repair with ourselves as well as our children
• How movement, space and nervous system regulation can help

If this episode has resonated...

If this episode has made you recognise how much you’re carrying, and how often guilt, responsibility and impossible expectations are consuming the capacity you need for yourself, your work and the life you want, The Capacity Reset is my six-month 1:1 coaching programme designed to help you change that.

This isn’t about becoming more productive or better at coping with too much. It’s about understanding what is draining your capacity, deciding what deserves it, and creating more space for the life and work you actually want.

If you’d like to explore whether it’s right for you, you can find out more here.

About Dr Caroline Boyd

Dr Caroline Boyd is a clinical psychologist with more than 10 years’ experience working in the NHS and mental health settings. She supports parents from pregnancy through childbirth and beyond, offering anger courses, workshops and 1:1 therapy through her independent psychology practice, Parent Therapy Hub.

She is also the author of Mindful New Mum and an Ambassador for UK perinatal mental health charity PANDAS.

Website: www.drcarolineboyd.com
Instagram: @_drboyd

Caroline’s maternal anger course

Caroline’s self-paced maternal anger course is designed to help mothers make sense of their anger and develop tools for responding to it.

Course: https://dr-caroline-boyd.mykajabi.com/mr-signup-autumn-2025

Listeners of Challenge Your Guilt can use the code PODCAST to receive £100 off the course price for a limited time.

Seeking further support

If you’re experiencing frequent moments of anger, overwhelm, or difficult feelings that are impacting everyday life with your baby, please talk to a supportive loved one and a trusted health professional such as your GP.

You can also reach out to PANDAS UK or Samaritans on 116 123.

For emergency help, call 999 or visit your local A&E department.

Connect with me

The Capacity Reset
Challenge Your Guilt – the book
Instagram

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✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt, I’m joined by Rachel Vecht, founder of Educating Matters, to talk about working parent guilt, perfectionism and why “good enough” parenting may be far healthier than trying to get everything right.

Rachel has spent 25 years supporting parents, carers and organisations at the intersection of parenting, education, wellbeing and work. She is also a mother of four and speaks honestly about the gap between knowing the parenting theory and living the reality yourself.

Together, we explore why parenting has started to feel like a competitive sport, how guilt shows up for working mothers, and why every decision can feel like a trade-off.

We discuss:

• why perfectionism can undermine connection with our children
• what “good enough” parenting looks like in practice
• how short bursts of focused one-to-one time can make a difference
• the importance of boundaries, values and modelling self-care
• why flexibility should be a normal way of working, not a special perk
• how managers can better support maternal mental health
• why supporting fathers and carers matters too
• how to tell the difference between guilt that reflects your values and guilt driven by outside expectations

Rachel also shares the idea of creating a family mission statement, helping families become clearer about what they stand for and how they want life at home to feel.

For any mother who feels she is holding everything together by a thread, this conversation is a reminder that your children do not need a flawless performance. They need connection, safety and the experience of being deeply loved.

Rachel’s resources

Rachel’s free Parenting Matters Masterclass shares practical tools and strategies for raising children to thrive:

You can also download her guide: What does it mean to be a “Good Enough” Parent?

The guide explores emotional coaching, special time, values, boundaries, modelling, self-regulation and how to define what “good enough” means for your own family.

Find Rachel at educatingmatters.co.uk and follow Rachel Vecht on LinkedIn for more on parenting, working parenthood and family-friendly workplaces.

Find Belinda

You can buy Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work and Life or apply for a free call to explore coaching and workplace support through the links in the show notes.

Subscribe to Challenge Your Guilt wherever you listen to podcasts, and share this episode with another mother who needs to hear it.

The guilt you have been carrying was never yours to hold. It is time to put it down.

Support the show

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.

In this episode of Challenge Your Guilt, I’m joined by writer Caro Giles, author of Twelve Moons and Unschooled, for a deeply honest conversation about motherhood, care, shame, identity and what happens when families no longer fit neatly within the systems designed to support them.

Caro is a single mother of four daughters, two of whom are autistic and unable to access mainstream education. In this conversation, she shares what it means to be not only a mother, but also the default advocate, carer, educator, emotional regulator and infrastructure holding family life together when external systems are either absent, inadequate or actively hostile.

Together, we explore how maternal guilt is so often internalised as personal failure, when in reality many mothers are carrying the consequences of systems that were never built to support real care. Caro speaks powerfully about the shame that can come with needing help, the pressure to appear as though you are coping, and the impossible standards placed on mothers who are judged whether they are emotional, unemotional, struggling or managing too well.

We also talk about the importance of writing, nature, connection, honesty and finding ways back to the woman behind the mother. Caro shares how naming shame, finding like-minded communities and recognising the value of unpaid care can help mothers feel less alone inside experiences that are too often hidden.

This is a conversation for any mother who has ever felt she should be coping better, asking for less, holding more, or hiding the truth of how hard things have become.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Maternal guilt as a response to systemic failure, not personal inadequacy
• The invisible labour mothers carry when they become the default advocate
• What happens when children cannot access conventional education systems
• Shame, benefits, housing insecurity and the judgement placed on mothers who need support
• The pressure on mothers to appear calm, capable and endlessly selfless
• Identity loss and how writing can help women find themselves again
• The importance of nature, awe and tiny moments of sensory grounding
• Why connection is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame
• How mothers can begin to value their own care work in a society that does not

About Caro Giles

Caro Giles is a writer and mother of four daughters. Her memoir Twelve Moons explores single motherhood, landscape, identity and survival, while her latest book Unschooled looks at family life, care, education and what happens when children no longer fit within conventional systems.

Caro writes with rare honesty about motherhood, disability, caregiving, nature, desire, shame, resilience and the complex realities of family life.

Links

You can find Caro on Instagram, Substack and in her monthly column for Psychologies. Her books Twelve Moons and Unschooled are available now.

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with another mother who needs to hear it.

You can also buy my book Challenge Your Guilt: How to Flourish in Motherhood, Work and Life, or DM me at belinda@theflourishingmother.com to apply for a free 60-minute Motherload Breakthrough Call to explore whether 1:1 coaching is the right next step for you.

Support the show

✨ If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a mother who needs to hear that guilt was never hers to carry.