Can the stars really tell us who we are, who we should date, and whether a relationship is destined to succeed—or is astrology just a bunch of cosmic bullshit?

This week on The Women Are Plotting, Etienne, Heidi, and Jane dive into the fascinating world of astrology, exploring everything from zodiac signs and birth charts to planetary influences, romantic compatibility, and the possibility that the universe might actually be trying to tell us something.

Etienne kicks things off with a surprising discovery: depending on which astrological system you follow, you might not even be the zodiac sign you've believed you were your entire life. Heidi explains how astrology can serve as a tool for self-reflection, while Jane shares how a high school boyfriend first challenged her skepticism about whether the stars could influence our lives.

But things get particularly interesting when the conversation turns to dating.

Jane reveals how she secretly used detailed birth charts to evaluate potential boyfriends—including the man she's now been with for 26 years. Apparently, knowing a man's birth date, birthplace, and exact time of birth can be pretty valuable information. Especially when his chart suggests a combination of occasional temper tantrums, fierce loyalty, and mind-blowing sex.

Meanwhile, Etienne explores her own astrological compatibility, discovers which zodiac signs might make the best romantic partners, and considers whether she should start asking men on dating apps for their birth certificates. The women even stumble upon astrology-based dating apps and contemplate putting them to the test.

Along the way, they discuss Mercury retrograde, sun signs versus moon and rising signs, the ancient history of astrology, and whether birth charts can help identify relationship patterns before you waste years on the wrong person.

Funny, candid, occasionally filthy, and surprisingly thought-provoking, this episode asks one big question:

Is your love life written in the stars—or are we just looking for a better way to weed out the assholes?

Join Etienne, Heidi, and Jane as they explore whether astrology is ancient wisdom, a useful tool for self-discovery, or simply a really entertaining way to explain why your ex was such a disaster.

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