I used to think treating myself meant booking a flight or scheduling a massage. Now? I treat myself every single day—and it looks completely different.

Last Friday, Nachi and I went live to talk about self-care, and we ended up diving into something I’ve been learning in my 40s: how to treat yourself with intention, not just as a reward.

We just came off a 10-day detox (first 3 days vegan, last 7 vegetarian), and honestly, the first 48 hours nearly killed me. I felt like Gollum.

But what got me through wasn’t willpower—it was mind over matter and knowing I had accountability. Nachi was doing it with me, and that made all the difference.

The real convo though? It’s about how self-care shifts as you move through life. When I was in corporate, self-care was intentional planning—trips, massages, always taking my birthday off because I treated it like a national holiday. Now that I’m out of corporate and more intentional with my time anyway, I treat myself differently. A nap when my body asks for it. Time by the pool with a Kindle. Good food with people I love.

For Nachi, it’s buying herself flowers from the farmer’s market and trying new restaurants with her kids. Small things that bring immediate joy.

But here’s what really shifted for both of us: we’re thinking about internal self-care too. Our naturopath, Dr. Witherspoon, explained that our kidneys are bearing the burden of how much animal protein we consume. She’s encouraging all her patients to do her 10-day detox annually. Our ancestors ate meat every few days, not at every meal.

So now we’re committing to at least one day a week (ideally three…eventually) without animal products. Not because we’re becoming vegan—I love meat, and my body needs animal protein. It’s about balance. It’s about treating my organs kindly while I’m still young enough to make a difference.

And it’s about this: treating yourself means having compassion for yourself. I can push hard, but I also need to know my limits. I can take on two medium tasks, one large, one small—not five things a day. Because I need to recharge. I can’t drain myself.

The detox also helped me remember foods from growing up—like aguacate (avocado) with just olive oil and vinegar. On a plant-based diet, it became a staple. Now I eat it several times a week because it fills me, it nourishes me, and it’s a small moment of joy.

We’re planning to do the detox again after the holidays and before summer. Because those are the times we go HAM, so we’re balancing it out.

Listen to this week’s Cafecito Chat to hear Nachi and me get real about self-care, health consciousness, and why the first 48 hours of detox feel like a crime scene. And if you have a question for our next live chat, drop it in the comments.

Treat yourself gently. Your kidneys will thank you.