A long summer episode with a lot to unpack. Julie sits down with newly elected Local 417 President Gillian Axten on her first official day in the seat to talk about the SLC–Fleming merger, the province‑wide restructuring of Ontario’s college system, and what these shifts mean for faculty, students, and the future of academic work. From disappearing full‑time positions to industry‑driven training models, Gillian breaks down the risks, the unknowns, and the urgent need for transparency and organizing. A deep, timely conversation at a critical moment for colleges across Ontario.

YouTube Code for Music clearance: NPXY0YQVYZIJHMOW

In the mid‑season finale, the trio chases the merger straight into the digital void, where phantom meeting chimes, lagging administrators, and a mysterious whispering figure suggest the merger may be run by something far stranger than leadership. As OPSEU files major grievances, hidden board slides resurface, and a transition binder grows thicker by the day, the investigators uncover the biggest twist yet: the decisions shaping two colleges weren’t made in their building at all. With an anonymous text pointing them to Toronto, the team closes the first half of the season with one chilling truth—everything they’ve been searching for was never here.

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

With gratitude to the makers of the following:

Music:

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Delicates - Riverside

Sound Effects:

Zoom – racehlribeiro71-zoom-connecting-to-meeting-504404

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Glitch – kave_msri-glitch-sfx-312910

Slide projector – freesound_community-slide-projector-1-49160

Can opening - freesound_community-soda-opening-81497

Pages – freesound_community-paper-66648

Message ding – universfield-system-notification-199277

Vibration – freesound_community-vibration-smartphone-denoise-104649

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Given the news release claims both boards have approved an “integration framework,” the trio sets out to find the document—only to discover that no one, including the deans allegedly aligning to it, has ever seen it. Their search leads through conspiracy bushes, Minecraft‑hosted PDFs, and a director building strategic‑plan domino towers in a windowless office. As missing reports, ignored legislation, and pre‑due‑diligence layoffs pile up, the investigators uncover a troubling pattern: the only thing more elusive than the framework is the consultation that was supposed to come with it.

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Local 417 would also like to recognize the following:

Music:

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Haunt Couture – Riverside

The Happy Pup Strut - Riverside

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Evidence Room – Riverside

Sound Effects:

TV Static and Glitch and Power On Real Audio Sound Effects by DudeAwesome -- https://freesound.org/s/790279/ -- License: Attribution 4.0

Button – soundreality-button-202966

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Dominoes being placed – freesound_community-domino-stone-on-the-table-87997

Drop papers - freesound_community-drop-stack-of-paper-whoomp-47048

Dominoes falling - freesound_community-dominoes-falling-47488

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-flapping-intense-79998

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

When due diligence vanishes and programs quietly disappear, the trio turns to the only force still producing answers: a mysterious Spreadsheet Oracle who claims Excel itself has foretold the merger’s fate. As chicken‑noodle prophecies collide with shifting timelines, ghosted programs, and a witness convinced seagulls are running surveillance for the College Employer Council, the investigators follow a trail of missing minutes, cold rooms, and silent campuses to uncover the one question no one seems able to answer—who, exactly, is doing the diligence?

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Special thanks to the following:

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Hall Pass – Riverside

Ocean Blue - Riverside

Haunt Couture - Riverside

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

Sound Effects:

Key press – dragon-studio-single-key-press-393908

Typing – freesound_community-keyboard-typing 36490

Error - freesound_community-error-96492

Whoosh – soundreality-whoosh-large-sub-384631

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

Knock – freesound_community-knock-knock-knock-40474

Louder knock - freesound_community-knocking-on-window-99754

Zoom – racehlribeiro71-zoom-connecting-to-meeting-504404

Rustling bushes – freesound_community-057988_rustling-bushes-88885

Clock – reddog0607-clock-ticking-365218

Chair – freesound_community-chair-squeak-100546

Coffee cup - freesound_community-putting-a-cup-on-a-table-and-stirring-in-it-999831

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

When the trio investigates the deserted administrative floor where the merger was supposedly born, they uncover a Bermuda Triangle of missing managers, a dean who speaks exclusively in corporate fog, and a binder so large it may be sentient. As faculty whisper through empty hallways and timelines contradict themselves, one truth emerges with suspicious clarity: the presidency of the new college was decided long before the “planning” ever began.

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Special thanks to the following:

Music:

Delicates - Riverside

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Evidence Room – Riverside

Hall Pass – Riverside

Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884

trueCrime-underscore-high - Riverside

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Sound Effects:

Elevator Door – freesound_community-elevator-ding-door-opens-noisy-

Footsteps - freesound_community-footsteps-in-a-hallway-47842

Drill – magiaz-drill-337556

Open map – freesound_community-unfold-a-map-46452

Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Electronic door – freesound_community-electronic-door-opening-102496

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Series Premiere — “A Merger Most Foul”

When a sudden, secretive college merger throws two colleges into chaos, three faculty sleuths launch a satirical, true-crime-style podcast to find out who is pulling the strings. First up: the trio chases a rapidly shifting paper trail, interviews a witness who learned of the merger on TikTok, and uses a vintage union Ouija board to summon the phantom spirit of "Due Diligence."

A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...

Season 1 – Episode 1: “A Merger Most Foul”

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Openmindaudio-crime-drama-intro-dust-on-the-evidence-shelf-part-2-preview-492685

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Sound Effects:

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-fllapping-intense-79998

Record scratch – Alexis_gaming_cam-vinyl-stop-34938

Message ding – universfield-system-notification-199277

Explosion – lordsonny_two-debris-break-3-457508

Pages – freesound_community-paper-66648

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Magic 8 ball – freesound_community-water-bottle-shake-33734

Possessed speaker – ElevenLabs_2026-06-01T22_35_39_Eva-Futuristic

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.

While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Episode 26 — Leaning Into Summer

This month, CAAT Tales is doing something new. We’re launching Only Mergers in the Building, a five‑part parody series inspired by the drama and uncertainty across our sector. Yes, it’s fictional. Yes, it’s satire. And yes… it hits close to home.

In today’s episode:

• 🎭 Parody Premiere: Only Mergers in the Building — Episode One: "A Merger Most Foul"
• 🏛️ Christina Decarie: Reflections on her final AGM and more than a decade of leadership
• 🐾 Dale Gartshore: Updates from the first solo divisional meeting for part‑time and sessional faculty
• 🔥 Fireside Chat: Details on the June 10th session

New parody episodes drop every Wednesday in June.
Stay with us — and let’s step into this summer series together.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes. While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.

Thank you to the following for your Royalty-free sound effects mostly via Pixabay:

Only Mergers In The Building - Season 1 – Episode 1: “A Merger Most Foul”

Music:

Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667

u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/

Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524

Openmindaudio-crime-drama-intro-dust-on-the-evidence-shelf-part-2-preview-492685

Darkened Treeline - Riverside

Sound Effects:

Page flipping – freesound_community-papers-fllapping-intense-79998

Record scratch – Alexis_gaming_cam-vinyl-stop-34938

Message ding – universfield-system-notification-199277

Explosion – lordsonny_two-debris-break-3-457508

Pages – freesound_community-paper-66648

Door open – freesound_community-door-open-and-close-with-a-creak 102380

Footsteps – freesound_community-indoor-footsteps-6385

Magic 8 ball – freesound_community-water-bottle-shake-33734

Possessed speaker – ElevenLabs_2026-06-01T22_35_39_Eva-Futuristic

CAAT Tales (the podcast) theme: Dario_Benedetti_Sunburst_instrumental

YouTube Code for Music clearance: NPXY0YQVYZIJHMOW

Join host Miles Mercer and his companions Alex and Taylor as they explore the biggest mystery to hit SLC in years: Who decided this merger? Why now? And why is there so much contradiction? In this five-episode mini season, they explore a tangled web of missing memos, corrupted chronologies, and vanished programs leads to the discovery of a sinister corporate takeover. The team is determined to uncover the truth.

Thank you to the following for your Royalty-free sound effects via Pixabay:

Theme - Your Case is Closed by Alex Bess - 433524

Freesound_community-drop-stack-of-paper-whoomp-47948

Freesound_community-flourescent-light-29596

Freesound_community-footsteps-in-a-hallway-47842

son_duquotidient-vibration-telephone-391097

LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes. While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.

This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.