Have you ever replayed a conversation over and over in your head, convinced someone was criticising you? Or spiralled after your boss said, "Can we have a chat?" only to discover it was nothing at all?

The truth is, our brains are wired to take things personally. But that doesn't mean every awkward interaction, delayed reply or offhand comment is actually about you.

In this episode of But Are You Happy?, host Ashani Dante is joined by clinical psychologist Anita Shimmins to unpack why we take things so personally, where those reactions come from, and how we can stop letting them control our relationships and self-worth. Together, they explore why our brains interpret social rejection as a threat to our survival, how childhood experiences, attachment styles and past trauma shape the stories we tell ourselves, and why social media makes it even harder to separate fact from fiction.

The conversation also explores why criticism hurts so much, how to tell the difference between what actually happened and the meaning you've attached to it, and why taking something personally isn't always a bad thing. Anita shares a simple four-step exercise to help you challenge your assumptions in the moment, along with practical strategies for having difficult conversations, setting healthy boundaries and communicating your needs with confidence. Because sometimes the most important shift isn't changing what other people say—it's changing the story your brain tells you about it.

Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here.

Watch But Are You Happy on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram here.

Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au

Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.

CREDITS:

Guest: Anita Shimmins

Host: Ashani Dante

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever wondered why modern life can leave us feeling so disconnected, even when we're doing everything we're told should make us feel well?

This NAIDOC Week, But Are You Happy? explores a different way of understanding mental health — one grounded in connection, community and relationships rather than simply treating illness.

In this episode, host Ashani Dante is joined by proud Gamilaraay man, psychologist and Director of First Nations Strategy at the Black Dog Institute, Dr Clinton Schultz. Together, they unpack what First Nations perspectives on social and emotional wellbeing can teach all of us about living healthier, more connected lives.

Clinton shares his own extraordinary journey from childhood trauma and addiction to becoming one of Australia's leading voices on First Nations mental health. He explains why Aboriginal concepts of wellbeing begin with relationships — to ourselves, to each other, to Country and to community — and why those connections have been central to keeping First Nations peoples strong for tens of thousands of years.

The conversation also explores the often unseen impact of racism on mental health, why repeated experiences of discrimination don't leave people enough time to heal, the unique challenges facing young First Nations people today, and what it truly means to be an ally. Finally, Clinton shares why connection to Country remains one of the strongest protective factors for wellbeing, and the lessons all Australians can take from First Nations ways of healing, belonging and caring for one another.

Discover more Mamamia Podcasts here.

Watch But Are You Happy on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram here.

Feedback: podcast@mamamia.com.au

Share your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice message, and one of our Podcast Producers will get back to you ASAP.

Rate or review us on Apple by clicking on the three dots in the top right-hand corner, click Go To Show then scroll down to the bottom of the page, click on the stars at the bottom and write a review.

CREDITS:

Guest: Dr Clinton Schultz

Host: Ashani Dante

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Audio and Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

If you want to support independent women's media, become a Mamamia subscriber. Get an all-access pass to everything we make, including exclusive podcasts, articles, videos and our exercise app, MOVE.

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Missed your weekly dose of health news? In What The Health, GP Dr Ginni Mansberg and comedian Cath Mahoney are unpacking the stories everyone’s talking about—from why HRT patches are still hard to find and what alternatives are finally arriving, to the simple strength training “sweet spot” linked to a longer, healthier life.

They’re also getting to the bottom of a viral TikTok trend: can testosterone cream really give you better skin, or is it a recipe for breakouts and unwanted hair?

In Are You Well?, Dr Ginni reveals how much water women actually need, why dehydration can leave you feeling flat and foggy, and the warning signs of pre-diabetes that many people miss.

And in Asking for a Friend, she answers your real-life questions—from spotting with Mirena to unexpected odours and whether perimenopausal brain fog is normal or something more serious.

GET IN TOUCH

Leave us an 'Asking for a Friend' voice note here.

Follow us on Instagram and Tiktok.

Support independent women’s media and get our biggest offer of the year. Subscribe here for 30% off your annual Mamamia subscription. Code applied at the checkout. Offer ends June 30.

CREDITS

Hosts: Dr Ginni Mansberg & Cath Mahoney

Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman

Executive Producer: Simone Skinner-Smith

Group Executive Producer: Ilaria Brophy

Audio Producer: Scott Stronach

Social Producers: Elly Moore & Marlena Cacciotti

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on.

Information discussed in Well. is for educational purposes only and is not intended to provide professional medical advice. Listeners should seek their own medical advice, specific to their circumstances, from their treating doctor or health care professional.

Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.