Sometimes we need a break from all the emotional heavy lifting and just have some FUN! 😂

In Episode 145, Coach Del celebrates the JOY of connection—the laughter, friendships, group chats, and shared experiences that make life a little sweeter.

From Karaoke Wednesdays and girlfriend outings (even the ones Mother Nature cancels!) to making new connections, this episode is a reminder that friendship isn't just about having someone to lean on when life gets hard. It's also about having people to share the GOOD times with!

Coach Del also shares her recent guest appearance with Melissa Clay on Me in the Making Podcast. Their conversation is coming soon!

Because it's not just you… it's US. And that includes the JOY! ❤️

Sometimes the thing you think is keeping you stuck isn't the real thing.

Take Coach Del's “What's REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment to uncover what may be getting in the way of your next step.

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms.

📱 Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

How to Respond Instead of React: You Always Have a Choice

Your thoughts can influence your feelings. Your feelings can influence what you want to do. But neither one has to make the decision for you.

In the final episode of the three-part Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice series, Coach Del explores what happens after we recognize the thoughts we're having and the emotions those thoughts may be nurturing.

Because recognizing what we think and feel is only part of the equation. The next question is: What do we CHOOSE to do with it?

Returning to a personal story about feeling excluded from a family gathering, Coach Del shares the series of choices she made: approaching her sister with curiosity rather than accusation, listening without skepticism, acknowledging her hurt feelings, and asking to be included in the future.

It's a powerful reminder that making an intentional choice doesn't mean pretending we're not hurt, angry, afraid, or disappointed.

It means recognizing that our feelings don't have to make every decision for us.

Drawing on Romans 12:2 and James 1:19, Coach Del explores the connection between renewing how we think and choosing how we respond.

In this episode, we'll consider:

• Why an emotional impulse isn't necessarily an instruction to act.
• How we can choose curiosity, honesty, boundaries, or even inaction rather than automatically reacting.
• Why choosing intentionally doesn't always mean choosing the easiest, nicest, or most comfortable response.
• How courage helps us make thoughtful choices even when difficult feelings remain.
• Why one choice doesn't have to become the end of our story.

Four questions to consider:

1. What actually happened?
2. What am I thinking about what happened?
3. What am I feeling—and what is that feeling making me want to do?
4. What do I CHOOSE to do next?

You may not get to choose everything that happens to you. But you can become more intentional about what you do with what happens.

And that, my friend, is where so much of our ability to bounce back begins.

🎉 WIN A SIGNED COPY OF RUTHLESS INTENTIONALITY!

I'm celebrating the release of Ruthless Intentionality: Choosing Courage and Clarity in Moments that Matter by giving away FIVE personally signed paperback copies!

Enter by October 31, 2026, at 11:59 p.m. Eastern for your chance to win. No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents.

👉 Enter the giveaway HERE

What's REALLY Holding You Back?

Sometimes the thing you think is keeping you stuck isn't the real thing.

Take Coach Del's “What's REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment to uncover the bottleneck that may be getting in the way of your next step.

🌐 Visit CoachDel.com to take the assessment.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You can be genuinely hurt by something you only think someone meant.

You can be genuinely afraid of something that never happens.

You can even become genuinely excited and emotionally invested in a future that hasn't actually been established.

The feeling is real. But what is it based on?

In Part 2 of the Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice series, Coach Del builds on the previous conversation about examining our thoughts and explores how those thoughts can shape our emotional experiences.

Sometimes we're responding emotionally to what actually happened.

Other times, we're also responding to the meaning, motive, or intention we've assigned to what happened.

And when an unproven assumption creates a very real emotion, that emotion can begin influencing how we act, react, and make decisions.

In this episode, Coach Del explores the difference between feeling something about what happened and feeling something about what you believe was done to you, why the intensity of an emotion doesn't prove the thought underneath it is accurate, how both negative and positive assumptions can lead us beyond the facts, and why it's worth examining a feeling before allowing it to influence what you do next.

Ask yourself:

What am I feeling? What thought is this feeling responding to? Do I know that thought to be true? What is this feeling making me want to do?

Next up: CHOICE—what happens when we recognize that our thoughts and feelings don't have to automatically determine what we do next.

Sometimes the thing you think is keeping you stuck isn’t the real thing.

Take Coach Del’s “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment to uncover the bottleneck that may be getting in the way of your next step.

🌐 Visit CoachDel.com to take the assessment.

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Your First Thought Isn't Your Only Thought

“I feel like she doesn't respect me.”

“I feel like I'm never going to get ahead.”

“I feel like they intentionally left me out.”

We say things like this all the time—but none of those statements actually describes a feeling.

They're thoughts.

And they're not automatically facts, either.

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del begins a three-part conversation about Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice by exploring how quickly the things we're thinking can become “facts” in our own minds.

Using a personal experience of discovering that her siblings had gotten together without her, Coach Del separates what she knew from what she thought:

What she knew: Her siblings got together, and she wasn't invited.

What she thought: They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there.

Could that thought have been true?

Absolutely.

But at that moment, it wasn't something she actually knew.

And recognizing that difference creates another possibility:

You can change your thoughts.

Not by forcing yourself to think positively.

Not by ignoring your intuition.

Not by excusing someone's behavior.

But by asking:

What's a different thought that I could have?

Sometimes the different thought is simply:

I don't know yet.

In this episode, Coach Del explores how to recognize the difference between a thought and a fact, how thoughts can influence our emotional experience, and why a different thought doesn't necessarily have to be a “better” or more positive thought.

Three questions to practice:

What am I thinking?

Do I know that to be true?

What's a different thought that I could have?

This is Part 1 of a three-part series:

Thoughts → Feelings → Choice

Next episode: FEELINGS—and why the thought may or may not be true, but the feeling is still real.

If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment.

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Have you ever had something happen and almost immediately decided what it meant?

Someone doesn't call.

Your friend doesn't invite you.

Your boss doesn't respond the way you expected.

Your adult child isn't calling as often.

Or someone sends you the dreaded one-letter text:

“K.”

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del shares a personal story about seeing Facebook photos of her sister and brothers spending time together—only an hour away—when she hadn't been invited.

Her feelings were hurt.

But something else happened, too.

Being left out quickly became:

"They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there."

And those aren't necessarily the same thing.

This episode explores the difference between what actually happened and what we make what happened mean.

Because when there's a gap between what we know and what we don't know, it's easy to fill that gap with an interpretation:

She doesn't value our friendship.

He must be losing interest.

My boss didn't think my work was good enough.

My child doesn't need me anymore.

Sometimes our interpretation may be accurate.

But sometimes we've turned an assumption into a fact without even realizing it—and then started changing our behavior, making decisions, or questioning our own worth based on that interpretation.

In this episode, you'll explore:

• The difference between what happened and the meaning you assigned to it

• How quickly an interpretation can begin shaping your emotions and behavior

• Why questioning your interpretation doesn't mean ignoring your instincts or excusing someone else's behavior

• How someone else's actions can activate beliefs or fears you already carry about yourself

• Why the meaning you've assigned to a situation may sometimes be the real bottleneck

• Three questions that can help you slow down before treating an interpretation as fact

The next time you notice yourself having a strong reaction to something someone said, did—or didn't say or do—pause and ask:

What actually happened?

What am I making it mean?

Do I know that to be true?

The goal isn't to find the one perfectly correct interpretation of everything everyone does.

It's to notice when your interpretation has quietly become fact in your own mind.

If this episode has you wondering whether something underneath your reactions may be creating a bottleneck in your own life, take Coach Del's short assessment:

What's REALLY Holding You Back?

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be—whether there's something you're having trouble seeing clearly, trying to handle alone, blaming yourself for, or afraid to face.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Have you been spending more than usual? Eating differently? Working too much? Scrolling for hours?

Or maybe you’re on the other side—sleeping less, struggling to focus, pulling away from people, or simply not doing some of the things you normally do.

Coach Del calls these our “overs and unders.”

Sometimes when life gets stressful, overwhelming, uncertain, lonely, or just plain HARD, what we’re carrying starts showing up in our behavior before we’ve fully acknowledged what’s going on.

And our first instinct is often to fix the behavior:

I need to stop spending.

I need to get off this phone.

I need to focus.

I need more discipline.

And maybe we do.

But what if we also asked:

What might this behavior be doing for me?

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del talks about recognizing changes in our behavior as information—not as another opportunity to criticize ourselves.

You’ll explore:

• How stress and other difficult experiences can show up through our “overs and unders”
• Why focusing only on stopping a behavior may leave the underlying issue untouched
• How seemingly positive behaviors—like working or exercising—can also become “overs”
• Why there’s room for both accountability and curiosity
• Questions that can help you notice patterns in your own behavior
• How your overs and unders may provide clues to the bottleneck underneath

Sometimes the thing you’re trying to fix isn’t the first thing that needs your attention.

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” try asking:

“What is going on with me?”

That little shift can open the door to greater awareness, more compassion, and more intentional choices.

What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment.

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You’ve communicated, waited, adjusted, and offered another chance.

But the change you’ve been hoping for still hasn’t happened.

How long should you continue waiting?

In this episode, Del shares a personal experience from a past relationship that looked good on paper—even as her intuition repeatedly told her something wasn’t right. She wanted the relationship to change, but eventually realized that the change she was waiting for wasn’t hers to create.

Her turning point came when she stopped asking whether things might eventually improve and asked:

“If nothing ever changes, can I accept this relationship exactly as it is?”

Later, she received confirmation that ending the relationship had been the right decision when the man’s now-wife contacted her and revealed his double life—a story Del previously shared in “When the Truth Finds You.”

But that confirmation came after the decision.

In this episode, you’ll consider:

• Why a person’s potential can make it difficult to accept present reality
• The difference between offering room to grow and building your life around someone’s potential
• Why more explaining, patience, or sacrifice may not create change
• What happens when your life becomes organized around something outside your control
• Why accepting reality does not mean approving of someone’s behavior
• How to distinguish not knowing what to do from not liking what your choices require
• The question that can help you stop waiting and begin deciding

If you’re unsure what may be keeping you circling, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern underneath the explanation you’ve been giving yourself:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck but need help determining what to do next—book a free one-on-one call with Del to discuss what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you:

https://calendly.com/delphine-smith/your-next-step-let-s-talk

Connect with Del:

• https://CoachDel.com
• https://BounceBackBlackWoman.com
• Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
• LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You have the talent. You have experience. You may even have evidence that other people value what you can do.

So why don’t you feel ready?

After being fired and spending approximately a year searching for another traditional job, Del began paying closer attention to women who were earning meaningful income from skills like hers. She saw full-time self-employed home bakers, coaches, authors, and speakers building businesses around their abilities.

Their success didn’t guarantee hers. But it raised an important question:

"Why not me, too?"

In this episode, Del explores how practical preparation can sometimes conceal a deeper doubt about our own capability. While training, strategy, and experience matter, constantly creating another requirement can keep us preparing for something we may already be capable of beginning.

In this episode, you’ll consider:

• Why familiar structures can feel safer than creating your own
• The difference between being inexperienced and being incapable
• How “I’m not ready” can become a permanent waiting room
• Why accomplishments don’t always silence self-doubt
• What other women’s success can reveal about possibility
• Why belief doesn’t require certainty that you will succeed
• How action can create evidence that strengthens self-trust

If you’ve been questioning whether you’re truly ready, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern beneath the reason you’ve been giving yourself:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck making forward movement difficult—book a free one-on-one call with Del to talk through what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you:

[BOOKING LINK TO BE ADDED]

Connect with Del:

• https://BounceBackBlackWoman.com
• Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman
• LinkedIn: @delphinesmith