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  • The Job Report: Open to Work, Rejected & Trying Not to Panic

    The Job Report: Open to Work, Rejected & Trying Not to Panic
    2026/08/12
    Welcome to a special edition of The Job Report with Nikki.Today, Nikki finally admits something she has been resisting: she’s adding the green “Open to Work” circle to her LinkedIn profile.And she’s not celebrating.This episode is an honest, funny, and vulnerable conversation about job hunting, unemployment, job rejection, career anxiety, LinkedIn, and the emotional toll of looking for work in a difficult job market.Because applying for jobs isn’t necessarily the hardest part.The hardest part is what happens when you actually meet people, have a good interview, start imagining yourself in the role—and then receive an automated rejection email.Especially when it arrives at 5 a.m. on a Monday morning.💔 When Job Rejection Feels PersonalNikki talks about why automated rejection emails don’t necessarily bother her. Send her 200 in a day and she’ll keep going.But meeting real people changes everything.After interviewing for a position on Friday, Nikki woke up Monday morning to an automated rejection.And suddenly, the job search didn’t feel like business anymore.It felt personal.This episode explores something that doesn’t get discussed enough when we talk about unemployment and career transitions: job rejection can genuinely hurt.Even when you know intellectually that a rejection isn’t a judgment of your worth, it can still feel like one.💼 Welcome to the “Open to Work” ClubNikki officially surrenders and adds the green Open to Work banner to her LinkedIn profile.It’s a small visual change, but emotionally, it represents something much bigger: admitting that the job search has become difficult, uncertain, lonely, and frightening.She talks about the strange experience of watching friends continue on with their jobs while you’re stuck in the seemingly endless cycle of:Apply → Interview → Hope → Wait → Rejection → Repeat.👩‍👧 What Her Mom Had to SayWhen Nikki starts spiraling, she calls her mom.Her mom reminds her that she had to interview three times before getting her teaching job in 1989.That story unexpectedly helps validate Nikki’s feelings.If even her mom remembers how stressful it was to interview for a job decades ago, maybe Nikki isn’t being unreasonable for feeling disappointed and anxious about today’s job search.❤️ “Something Better Is Going to Come Along”Nikki also calls her son’s dad, who approaches the situation from a completely different angle.He asks her to imagine what she would say if he called with the exact same story.Her response?Obviously, she’d tell him the company was full of losers, they were probably going to hire someone’s son-in-law, and he didn’t want to work there anyway.His response:Exactly.Sometimes it’s easier to believe in someone else’s future than your own.And sometimes the people who love us can see something we can’t see when we’re in the middle of disappointment.🧠 The Emotional Reality of Looking for WorkThis episode is ultimately a message to anyone else currently looking for a job:You are not alone.Job searching can be lonely.It can be frightening.It can create anxiety and self-doubt.And it can be especially difficult when you’re surrounded by people who still have their jobs and don’t have to think about where their next paycheck is coming from.Nikki doesn’t have the secret algorithm for getting hired.She doesn’t know the magic combination of keywords, applications, networking messages, resumes, interviews, or LinkedIn optimization that finally makes someone say, “You’re hired.”But she does know this:She is capable.She has experience.She has skills.She can manage projects, work in software and technology, create marketing strategies, work in digital marketing and social media, build a Shopify store, and do approximately 700 other things.And somehow, she’s still looking for work.🍁 And Yes, She Can Make Pumpkin SconesBecause sometimes you have to end a serious conversation about unemployment by reminding everyone that you have marketable skills.And apparently, pumpkin scones are among them.Open to work. Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    5 分
  • Born to Ramble: “One Day at the Swearing Club” | Childhood Chaos, Corporate Burnout & Why Adulting is a Scam

    Born to Ramble: “One Day at the Swearing Club” | Childhood Chaos, Corporate Burnout & Why Adulting is a Scam
    2026/08/07

    What do job hunting, fake cigarettes, neighborhood delinquents, and a six-year-old swearing club have in common?

    As always, My Life!

    In this episode of Born to Ramble, I share a hilarious update on THE JOB REPORT. Spoiler alert: it still sucks! I celebrate some exciting podcast milestones, and read an excerpt from my upcoming memoir, NeverWife.

    Before we dive into the story, I vent about today’s impossible job market, why every job description sounds like corporate gaslighting, and how my parents somehow managed to support an entire family by drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and using an adding machine.

    That was in the mid 80s, which is exactly where our story begins! 1987

    In “One Day at the Swearing Club,” six-year-old Nikki and her neighborhood friends gather in a backyard playhouse where they pretend to be exhausted adults—complete with fake cigarettes, happy hour, high heels, and plenty of colorful language. Their afternoon of make-believe takes an unexpected turn when one neighborhood boy shows up waving a very real hunting knife, leading to one unforgettable rescue by Nikki’s cigarette-smoking, cowboy-boot-wearing father.

    It’s childhood nostalgia, dark humor, Gen X memories, and storytelling exactly the way life actually happened.

    In This Episode

    * Exciting podcast news: Born to Ramble is now available on YouTube and Amazon

    * My first attempt at affiliate marketing (and why Starbucks should absolutely sponsor me)

    * The weekly Job Report: corporate buzzwords, impossible expectations, and remote work dreams

    * Why modern job descriptions make me question reality

    * A reading from my upcoming memoir, NeverWife

    * “One Day at the Swearing Club” : Growing up in the 1980s with neighborhood adventures, fake happy hours, and very real trouble

    Topics Covered

    * Memoir writing

    * Funny childhood stories

    * Growing up in the 1980s

    * Gen X nostalgia

    * Corporate burnout

    * Remote work

    * Job hunting in 2026

    * Humor and storytelling

    * Creative nonfiction

    * Parenting

    * Life after layoffs

    * Neighborhood adventures

    Memorable Quote

    “We’re looking for someone who loves organization, thrives on communication, and gets excited about turning opportunities into appointments.”

    Translation: We’d like one person to do six jobs for half the pay.

    Mentioned in This Episode

    * My upcoming memoir: NeverWife

    * The Born to Ramble Shop

    * New podcast merchandise

    * Affiliate marketing adventures

    * Starbucks (still waiting for that sponsorship...)

    If You Enjoyed This Episode...

    Please subscribe, leave a review, and share the podcast with someone who survived the 1980s, is currently rage-applying for jobs, or remembers pretending to smoke fake hot dogs in a backyard playhouse.

    And if you ever had your own “swearing club,” I definitely want to hear about it.

    New episodes of Born to Ramble drop regularly, featuring funny true stories, memoir excerpts, observations on modern life, motherhood, midlife, nostalgia, and whatever else my brain decides to ramble about.



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    16 分
  • Bonus Episode: Interviewing Otto

    Bonus Episode: Interviewing Otto
    2026/07/31

    Bonus Episode: Interviewing Otto | A very short interview with my son and dog.

    In this special bonus episode of Born to Ramble, Otto and I test out our new “set” in our first ever primetime interview.

    We discuss life's biggest questions, including:

    His favorite book

    His favorite TV show

    Swimming lessons 🏊

    Chocolate 🍫

    Orange pop 🍊

    If you've ever talked to a preschooler, you know conversations rarely go according to plan.

    In This Episode

    00:00 Welcome to Born to Ramble

    00:40 Meet Otto, my first guest ever

    01:20 Swimming lessons

    02:10 Favorite books

    02:45 Sonic vs. Grizzly

    03:30 Chocolate is the best food

    04:00 Signing off, Sir

    About Born to Ramble

    Born to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice

    “Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –Anonymous

    Subscribe to Born to Ramble

    If you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.

    The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️

    Connect with Nikki

    ✍️ Writer

    🎙️ Host of Born to Ramble

    Subscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    3 分
  • I Worked at a Chinese Restaurant in the '90s | Plus THE JOB REPORT Job Hunting & The Shangri-La

    I Worked at a Chinese Restaurant in the '90s | Plus THE JOB REPORT Job Hunting & The Shangri-La
    2026/07/31

    I Worked at a Chinese Restaurant in the '90s | Plus THE JOB REPORT Job Hunting & The Shangri-La

    What do a 66-minute job assessment, getting rejected from a lunch lady position, and a Chinese restaurant in North Dakota have in common?

    Apparently...my life.

    In this episode of Born to Ramble, I'm introducing a new recurring segment called “The Job Report”, where I'll share the ridiculous realities of job hunting after being laid off—including bizarre hiring assessments, unrealistic salaries, and the increasingly surreal job market.

    Then we travel back to 1997, when I worked as a hostess at the Shangri-La Chinese Restaurant in Grand Forks, North Dakota. Between secret boyfriends, unforgettable coworkers, neverending delivery orders, sweet and sour chicken, dolphin ankle tattoos, and one unforgettable convenience store "robbery," this may have been the most entertaining job I've ever had.

    If you love funny true stories, nostalgic 90s memories, restaurant chaos, memoir-style storytelling, and laughing through life's absurd moments, you're in the right place.

    In this episode:

    * The launch of "The Job Report"

    * Ridiculous modern hiring practices

    * Why job hunting in 2026 feels impossible

    * Life as a teenage hostess in the 1990s

    * Funny restaurant coworkers I'll never forget

    * Sweet & sour chicken, Seinfeld, and secret romances

    * One prank that became legendary

    If you've ever worked in a restaurant, survived retail, or wondered how hiring became this ridiculous, you'll probably see yourself somewhere in this story.

    🎙️ Subscribe for new episodes of Born to Ramble, where stories, humor, nostalgia, and everyday life collide.

    #storytelling #podcast #funnystories #restaurantstories #jobsearch #90snostalgia

    About Born to Ramble

    Born to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice

    “Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –Anonymous

    Subscribe to Born to Ramble

    If you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.

    The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️

    Connect with Nikki

    ✍️ Writer

    🎙️ Host of Born to Ramble

    Subscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    14 分
  • Worked to Death: A Skeleton Walks into the Office and Hits it out of the Park.

    Worked to Death: A Skeleton Walks into the Office and Hits it out of the Park.
    2026/07/25

    Please enjoy this fiction short story about the hell that offices have become and the pissing contest of who can be the sickest and still work.

    Worked to Death: A Skeleton Walks into the Office and Hits It Outta the Park 💀

    What happens when a company expects more from its employees than they expect from the dead?

    In this episode of Born to Ramble, Nikki shares one of her favorite original short stories—a dark workplace satire that may or may not be actually satirical cuz I’m pretty sure I actually worked at this company, minus the corpse. This story explores “hustle culture,” burnout, impossible expectations, and the moment you realize your job might actually be trying to kill you.

    Meet Jim: sick as a dog, armed with chicken noodle soup, Emergen-C, and a lunchbox lovingly packed by his wife. He drags himself into work only to discover that a coworker has literally died... and somehow manages to lead the client presentation.

    If you've ever:

    * Worked while sick because you felt guilty calling in

    * Had a boss who cared more about spreadsheets than people

    * Laughed to keep from crying during corporate meetings

    * Wondered if "work-life balance" is just an urban legend

    ...this story is for you.

    Before the story, Nikki also shares a few life updates, including:

    🎉 The *Born to Ramble Shop** is officially open!

    * 🤓 Her surprisingly effective fake glasses.

    * 🧌 Why getting her first internet trolls feels like a podcasting milestone.

    * 🐵 A grammar lesson inspired by someone who couldn't spell "dying."

    This episode is equal parts storytelling, sarcasm, and corporate trauma recovery.

    ## Read the Story

    Prefer to read along? You can find the complete short story on the Born to Ramble Substack:

    "A Skeleton Walks into the Office and Hits It Outta the Park."

    Support Born to Ramble

    Love cynical humor, funny stories, and original writing?

    Check out the Born to Ramble Shop for sarcastic T-shirts, gifts, and upcoming Mommy & Me designs that are just weird enough to start conversations.

    If you enjoyed this episode:

    * ⭐ Follow the podcast.

    * ❤️ Leave a rating or review.

    * 📤 Share it with the coworker who's one email away from becoming a skeleton.

    Thanks for listening—and remember: your employer can replace your position, but your family can't replace you.

    The original written version is here: Worked to Death



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    21 分
  • Class A French Fries and The Ketchup Catastrophe

    Class A French Fries and The Ketchup Catastrophe
    2026/07/18
    Thank you for tuning in! To read the original story, please visit https://borntoramble.substack.com/p/14-emerald-grillBorn to RambleClass A French Fries & The Ketchup Catastrophe | Surviving the Worst Restaurant Job EverEpisode DescriptionHave you ever had a job so ridiculous that years later it still feels like a fever dream?In this episode of Born to Ramble, I take you back to my days waiting tables at the Emerald Grill, a diner somewhere between a truck stop and a small-town institution. It was the kind of place where the cook disappeared into the walk-in cooler, the dishwasher asked me for roast beef sandwiches every ten minutes, customers believed french fries came in quality rankings, and I somehow ended my shift covered head-to-toe in ketchup.What begins as a simple Sunday night shift quickly spirals into complete chaos thanks to:A customer demanding "Class A French Fries."A cook having an existential crisis after a breakup.A senior discount showdown.A three-gallon bag of ketchup with terrible timing.One very memorable decision to walk out...and never return.If you've ever worked in food service, retail, or customer service, you'll probably recognize a little bit of yourself in this story. If you haven't, consider this your warning.In This Episode🍟 The customer who insisted the fries weren't "Class A"👩‍🍳 Life behind the scenes at a truck stop😳 How restaurant jobs can push people to the brink of insantiy🥫 The infamous ketchup explosion🤣 The coworkers you could only find in food service🚪 The shift that ended with me walking out for good✍️ Why terrible jobs often become our best storiesMemorable Moments"These are Class B french fries.""I'm losing my mind, Wade.""The guy out there can help himself with our Class B fries.""I got in my car and never went back to the Emerald Grill."About Born to RambleBorn to Ramble is a storytelling podcast where memoir meets humor, nostalgia, and the wonderfully absurd moments that shape our lives.Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode features original essays about growing up in the Midwest, terrible jobs, motherhood, corporate burnout, books, reality TV, and the unexpected stories hiding in everyday life.Because everything is a story waiting to be written.Read the Original StoryThis episode is a reading of my short story, Class A French Fries and the Ketchup Catastrophe originally published on Born to Ramble on Substack. If you enjoy listening, you'll love reading the full story and exploring more humorous memoirs and creative nonfiction.About Born to RambleBorn to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice“Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –AnonymousSubscribe to Born to RambleIf you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️Connect with Nikki✍️ Writer🎙️ Host of Born to RambleSubscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    18 分
  • Born to Ramble: Formerly Called Two Letdowns, One Night, Now Called "Weird Foods I Ate as a Kid"

    Born to Ramble: Formerly Called Two Letdowns, One Night, Now Called "Weird Foods I Ate as a Kid"
    2026/07/11

    Thank you for tuning in! If you’d like to read the original post, visit Born to Ramble!

    In This Episode

    🧀 Growing up in a Velveeta-only household

    📺 The unforgettable Velveeta + salsa commercials of the 1990s

    🤣 Why cutting Velveeta with a knife is basically impossible

    🥣 Pregnancy cravings and the return of Velveeta Rotel dip

    💔 When nostalgia doesn't live up to the memory

    🌹 Why I rewrote this story after learning more about The Bachelor

    Things Mentioned

    Velveeta

    Rotel

    The Bachelor

    Love Trapped podcast

    Childhood nostalgia

    Memoir writing

    Creative nonfiction

    Pregnancy cravings

    Midwestern comfort food

    About Born to Ramble

    Born to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice

    “Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –Anonymous

    Subscribe to Born to Ramble

    If you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.

    The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️

    Connect with Nikki

    ✍️ Writer

    🎙️ Host of Born to Ramble

    Subscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    10 分
  • A Series of Disappointments: Dating After 30

    A Series of Disappointments: Dating After 30
    2026/07/03

    Thank you for tuning in! If you’d like to read the original excerpt, check out Born to Ramble

    A Series of Disappointments: Dating After 30 | Why Every First Date Became a Story

    Episode Description

    Dating in your 20s is fueled by optimism. Dating in your 30s? It's more like conducting a series of increasingly bizarre social experiments.

    In this episode of Born to Ramble, I read an excerpt from my memoir-in-progress, Neverwife, about navigating the wonderfully weird world of dating after 30.

    From a charming nomad who lived in a Prius and proudly admitted to stealing from Walmart, to a former wrestler convinced he was the next Bon Jovi, to the man whose chip-eating technique sent me running out of a Mexican restaurant, these are the stories that made me laugh long after the dates were over.

    Beneath the humor is a reflection on how our expectations of love evolve with age, how experience changes attraction, and why sometimes the best thing to come from dating is a really good story.

    If you've ever survived online dating, questioned your life choices halfway through dinner, or wondered if you'll ever meet someone who doesn't have a glaring red flag, this episode is for you.

    In This Episode

    ❤️ Why dating feels completely different after 30

    🚗 Meeting a man who lived in a converted Prius during the pandemic

    🛒 The date who proudly confessed to shoplifting from Walmart

    🎸 A former indie wrestler's unforgettable guitar performance

    🐍 The first date that ended because of...the way someone ate tortilla chips

    😂 Why bad dates make the best memoir material

    Memorable Moments

    "By the time I hit my 30s, choosing a lifelong partner seemed obscene."

    "Dating after 30 is bringing your history of disappointments to P.F. Chang's."

    "I bought him his own loofah before our first date."

    "You're so hot...but you're so bad."

    "The older I got, the more intolerable the little things became."

    About Born to Ramble

    Born to Ramble podcast features audio essays and stories by me, Nikki Settelmeyer, and others. I love creative non-fiction, memoir, and hilarious real stories with a sprinkling of tragedy. Special episodes delve into the “Craft of Writing.” I love writing and I love talking about it. I love talking. #voice

    “Hosted by writer, children's author, and creative writing instructor Nikki Settelmeyer, each episode explores the funny, messy, and meaningful moments that make up everyday life—from corporate burnout and midlife reinvention to parenting adventures and the stories hiding in ordinary moments.” –Anonymous

    Subscribe to Born to Ramble

    If you enjoy stories about writing, l-i-v-i-n-g, (geriatric) parenting, creativity, books, and starting over, be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode of Born to Ramble. I'm over here failing fast and the momentum's got me excited.

    The Born to Ramble newsletter comes out every Thursday at 11:00, and podcast episodes are released each Saturday at 12:07pm ♥️ YouTube Reels and TikTok shorts every day ♥️

    Connect with Nikki

    ✍️ Writer

    🎙️ Host of Born to Ramble

    Subscribe on Substack for essays, behind-the-scenes writing updates, podcast episodes, and plenty of stories

    #BornToRamble #DatingAfter30 #OnlineDating #NeverWife #Memoir #CreativeNonfiction #FunnyStories #Storytelling #DatingDisasters #WomenWhoWrite #Substack #AuthorLife #Podcast #Humor #ModernDating



    Get full access to Born to Ramble at borntoramble.substack.com/subscribe
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    18 分