Sometimes you don’t realize you’re learning how to survive. You just think you’re being a good, obedient kid.

In this episode, I go back to some of the moments that taught me about fear, compliance, and the people who were supposed to protect me.

From childhood experiences that shaped my fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses to the complicated ways those survival skills followed me into adulthood, this one gets HEAVY.

There’s family history, some seriously questionable “keepin’ it the family” math, domestic Violence, firearms, and a few stories that were harder to tell than I expected.

And yes… apparently I eventually stopped hiding in people’s buttcracks.

Content Note: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, firearms, threats of violence, and trauma.

At the end of the episode, I also share a simple breathing exercise that you can use if you need a moment to come back down.

Soo.. Remember when I said Episode 1 was just the map? Yeah. Here’s where we actually start getting into the shit.

In this episode, I go back to one of my earliest childhood memories and the childhood experiences that shaped far more of my life than I understood at the time. There’s trauma. There's some questionable childhood logic. There’s Tang.

And unfortunately…

There’s a dick.

Content Note: This episode discusses childhood trauma, abuse, and sexual content involving a minor.

Every story has a beginning, just so happens mine started in Vegas-baby.

In the first episode of Borderline Unstable, I’m giving you the broad strokes of the childhood that shaped me- the people, the chaos, the places, and the pieces of my past that eventually became the foundation for everything that came after.

This isn’t the whole story. Not even close. Consider this the map before we start getting lost.

Content Note: This podcast discusses trauma, abuse, mental illness, and other difficult subjects. Specific content warnings will be provided when appropriate.