This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and Nathalie to unpack a heartbreak that many stepmums quietly carry: the grief of losing their stepchildren after a breakup.

A listener writes in devastation after her relationship ended not because of the partner, but because she no longer gets to see the children she helped raise. Their mother doesn’t think it’s appropriate, and just like that, it’s like she never existed.

The panel discuss the emotional fallout stepmums can face when love isn’t “enough” to grant them long-term connection even after years of parenting. Kate opens up about how this exact scenario has always been one of her biggest fears and admits she doesn’t think she’d cope.

Cilla reflects on the reality vs. the ideal reminding us that we don’t live in a world where every bond is protected just because it’s real. And Nathalie asks the big question: what impact does it have on the children when someone who loves them simply disappears?

This is a powerful conversation about invisible grief, unspoken heartbreak, and the emotional toll of loving children you don’t legally “own.” Because when stepmums are told to love like a parent but let go like a stranger.

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla along with very special guest co-host Nieki Shaw , a child protection solicitor, co-parenting mentor and the founder of Legally Nik, where she helps families navigate complex legal realities around blended families and co-parenting.

We get so many legal dilemmas on this podcast, and while we’re always here to share our experiences — this week, we brought in an expert.

Nik answers two powerful dilemmas from listeners:

One from a stepmum wondering what rights she’d have if something ever happened to her partner and whether she’d legally be able to stay in the child’s life.

And another where a stepmum posted a photo online, and the biological mum cut off all contact, raising urgent questions around parental alienation, boundaries, and protecting the child’s relationship with both parents.

Nik breaks down what parental responsibility really means, and when a Stepparent Responsibility Order might be needed. She explains the difference between “lives with” orders and “spends time with” orders, when to apply for Specific Issue Orders, and why the Welfare Checklist is at the heart of every child-based legal decision in the UK.

They also explore why there’s no such thing as “full custody” in the UK, how to prepare if you’re going to represent yourself in court including the role a McKenzie Friend can play in supporting you through the process. Nik also talks about why it’s so important to put your wishes in writing, especially when it comes to children and wills and why this is even more essential when a stepparent is involved.

Check out Legally Nik's Website

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and special guest co-host Jamelia — singer, songwriter, actress, and mum.

Jamelia speaks openly and honestly about her own blended family experience, the heartbreak she faced, what her kids went through, and why she wouldn’t be part of a blended family again. She shares how, at times, she genuinely thought she wouldn’t make it through and why she'd now choose to keep her relationships separate.

The panel also tackles a dilemma from a mum whose daughter isn’t coping with her new blended setup; the kids just aren’t clicking, and it’s making life at home uncomfortable. Jamelia reflects on how her own daughter felt when someone moved in, and Kate asks whether you can really be happy in a relationship if the children aren’t.

Cilla shares why she believes children are allowed to feel sad about big changes and why sometimes you have to sit in the uncomfortable moments as a family.

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This week on Blended, Kate is joined by Cilla and Nathalie to explore a dilemma that hits hard for so many women in blended families: loving your partner, loving their children but still wanting a baby of your own.

A listener writes in to say she’s been a stepmum for five years and adores her partner’s children but she’s always imagined having her own baby too. The problem? Her partner says he’s done. No more kids. And now she’s wondering if she can really accept that… or if she’s risking a lifetime of regret.

The ladies explore what it means to compromise on something this big and whether love alone is enough when your dreams don’t align. They also reflect on how desires can shift, how long you should “wait and see" before resentment kicks in.

Cilla shares the emotional story of someone who waited, missed her window, and ended up heartbroken. They also reflect on the pressure of the biological clock, the power of honesty, and the importance of advocating for what you want before it’s too late.

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Cilla and special guest co-host Rio to respond to a heartfelt dilemma from a listener asking how she can best support her brother, a single dad raising two daughters on his own.

Rio shares his personal experiences of solo parenting after loss, opening up about the emotional guilt of leaving your children even briefly, the pressure to always “get it right,” and why having a support system matters so much.

The conversation turns to the emotional wellbeing of single dads how men can be encouraged to look after themselves, make space to date again, and allow themselves to feel.

Kate becomes emotional as she reflects on her stepchildren’s experiences with grief and how her understanding has deepened now that she’s also a biological mum.

Together, the trio explore how solo parents, especially fathers can be supported emotionally, practically, and socially without judgment.

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and Nathalie to unpack a dilemma that so many stepparents silently struggle with: discipline.

A listener writes in feeling completely overridden by her partner when it comes to setting boundaries with his children. She tried to discipline calmly and respectfully but he jumped in, reversed her decision, and made her feel like she had no right to step in at all.

The trio discusses what discipline should look like in blended homes, and how stepparents can feel confident in their role without overstepping. Is discipline only for biological parents? What message does it send to children when their stepparent’s authority is constantly undermined?

They also explore how couples can get on the same page when it comes to parenting, the difference between discipline and telling off, and why real teamwork is essential

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-host Nathalie and special guest co-host Ashley John-Baptiste — , journalist, documentary-maker and now author of Looked After, his powerful memoir.

Ashley’s no stranger to the podcast and he’s back to talk about his own story growing up in the UK care system, living with five different families, and never quite feeling like he belonged. In this emotional and honest conversation, he shares how that shaped his sense of identity, his education, his relationships, and the kind of father he is today.

The trio also tackle a heartfelt dilemma from a listener who's trying to help her foster son feel welcomed into their family especially by her partner, who’s parenting for the first time. Ashley shares real insight into what children in care may be feeling in moments like this, while Nathalie opens up about her own past and how childhood trauma can lead to emotional walls and coping mechanisms.

This is a moving episode about identity, resilience, and the healing power of love and a reminder that family isn’t always where you start, but what you grow.

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