This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and Nathalie to unpack a heartbreak that many stepmums quietly carry: the grief of losing their stepchildren after a breakup.

A listener writes in devastation after her relationship ended not because of the partner, but because she no longer gets to see the children she helped raise. Their mother doesn’t think it’s appropriate, and just like that, it’s like she never existed.

The panel discuss the emotional fallout stepmums can face when love isn’t “enough” to grant them long-term connection even after years of parenting. Kate opens up about how this exact scenario has always been one of her biggest fears and admits she doesn’t think she’d cope.

Cilla reflects on the reality vs. the ideal reminding us that we don’t live in a world where every bond is protected just because it’s real. And Nathalie asks the big question: what impact does it have on the children when someone who loves them simply disappears?

This is a powerful conversation about invisible grief, unspoken heartbreak, and the emotional toll of loving children you don’t legally “own.” Because when stepmums are told to love like a parent but let go like a stranger.

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This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla along with very special guest co-host Nieki Shaw , a child protection solicitor, co-parenting mentor and the founder of Legally Nik, where she helps families navigate complex legal realities around blended families and co-parenting.

We get so many legal dilemmas on this podcast, and while we’re always here to share our experiences — this week, we brought in an expert.

Nik answers two powerful dilemmas from listeners:

One from a stepmum wondering what rights she’d have if something ever happened to her partner and whether she’d legally be able to stay in the child’s life.

And another where a stepmum posted a photo online, and the biological mum cut off all contact, raising urgent questions around parental alienation, boundaries, and protecting the child’s relationship with both parents.

Nik breaks down what parental responsibility really means, and when a Stepparent Responsibility Order might be needed. She explains the difference between “lives with” orders and “spends time with” orders, when to apply for Specific Issue Orders, and why the Welfare Checklist is at the heart of every child-based legal decision in the UK.

They also explore why there’s no such thing as “full custody” in the UK, how to prepare if you’re going to represent yourself in court including the role a McKenzie Friend can play in supporting you through the process. Nik also talks about why it’s so important to put your wishes in writing, especially when it comes to children and wills and why this is even more essential when a stepparent is involved.

Check out Legally Nik's Website

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.