Sometimes we’re not horny for the person — we’re horny for the moment.

In this episode, we break down ten situations where arousal, curiosity, and freedom can trick us into choices we might regret later. From being high off validation, to mixing sex and substances, to chasing fantasy instead of connection — this is our honest guide to slowing down before the vibe turns into chaos.

We talk about social arousal, bi panic, party & play, and how being truly seen can feel erotic when you’ve lived life half-hidden. We’re not here to judge desire — we’re here to understand it.

Join us as we learn to recognize when we’re acting from the moment instead of our truth, and how self-control can actually deepen our freedom.

Let us know what you think — do you want more real-talk list episodes like this one?

Connect with us at bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.

Share the show, rate it five stars, and invite a friend — that’s how our community keeps growing.

Referenced in This Episode

Diamond, Lisa M. (2008). Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.

Journal of Sex Research (2016). Context-Dependent Arousal and Emotional Contagion.

Kleinplatz, Peggy J. (2018). Arousal and Intimacy Beyond Desire Models.

American Psychological Association (2022). The Psychology of Arousal and Identity.

Planned Parenthood (2023). Demisexuality and Emotional Attraction Explained.

What if the love that saves you isn’t romance — it’s brotherhood?

this episode dives into the quiet power of bromance and what it means for bi+ Black men who live between worlds. We talk about intimacy that isn’t performative, friendship that feels sacred, and how bi+ men can build safety, honesty, and trust both inside relationships and with their closest friends.

From challenging the myth that bisexual men can’t be loyal, to exploring how bromance energy can exist with women and femmes too, this conversation is all about learning to love without fear and connect without shame.

How do you like your episodes — quick and focused, or longer and deep-dive style? Let us know through bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.

Your feedback shapes the future of this space — and every share helps the platform grow.

Referenced in This Episode

Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).

hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).

Harvard Study of Adult Development (2018). Close Relationships and Lifespan Well-Being.

APA (2022). Men and Emotional Intimacy.

National Library of Medicine (2022). GL vs Heterosexual Infidelity Study.

PubMed (2014). Bisexuality and Infidelity-Related Emotions Study.

In this episode of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast, we explore what it really means for men to embrace femininity—without apology and without losing themselves.

We unpack how patriarchy created a single, standardized image of manhood that left little room for softness, creativity, or grace. Together, we talk about masculinity as a performance, femininity as energy, and why so many of us are reclaiming balance instead of living in boxes.

We also discuss the value of fem-presenting men, how colonialism erased gender fluidity in African and Indigenous cultures, and gentle ways to lean into feminine energy—through expression, movement, and self-care. This conversation celebrates everyone connected to manhood, masculinity, and male identity in any form.

Referenced in This Episode

• hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).

• Oyěwùmí, Oyeronke. The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses. (1997).

• Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).

• American Psychological Association (2022). Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Expression. apa.org

• Journal of Men’s Studies (2019). Masculine Gender Role Conflict and Emotional Well-Being.

• Rose, Tricia. The Hip Hop Wars. (2008).

In this episode of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast, we unpack one of the most common—and harmful—phrases in our culture: “No Homo.”

We explore why so many of us feel the need to say it, where it came from, and how society’s constant surveillance of masculinity—especially Black masculinity—keeps men defending their sexuality instead of living freely in it. Together, we talk about how that pressure shows up in hip-hop, barbershops, locker rooms, and even queer spaces that glorify “passing” or “trade.”

We also reflect on how language shapes safety, how fear turns affection into a performance, and how we can reclaim honesty, love, and brotherhood without disclaimers. Inspired by Clear Minds in Color’s episode “Men Seeking Male Approval,” this conversation continues the work of healing masculinity through vulnerability, truth, and community.

Check out the Clear Minds In Color episode on Men Seeking Male Approval

Referenced in this episode:

• Flood, M. (2008). Men, Sex, and Homosociality: How Bonds Between Men Shape Their Sexual Lives. University of Western Sydney.

• Hearn, J. (2012). Men and Masculinities: A Social, Cultural, and Historical Encyclopedia. ABC-CLIO.

• American Psychological Association (2022). Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Expression. apa.org

• Pew Research Center (2019). Attitudes About Homosexuality Among African Americans. pewresearch.org

• SAIC Library Guides (2023). Facing Race and Pleasure: The Black Body and Fetishization. libraryguides.saic.edu

• Trade (Gay Slang) – Wikipedia. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trade_(gay_slang)

In this episode, we pick up for part 2 of Men Seeking Men: A First Time Guide with a raw, judgment-free look at what it’s like to have sex with another man for the first time. We talk about the mental side of stepping into intimacy with a man, the importance of safe sex, sexual hygiene, and after care.

💡 For resources, articles, and the free private community app, tap into bisexualblackmen.com.

Referenced in This Episode

• ⁠CDC – Sexual Health & Consent Basics⁠

• ⁠Mayo Clinic – Anal Sex: Tips for Safety⁠

• ⁠Bisexual Resource Center – Language & Identity

My Bi Sex with Another Man (Part 1)

In this episode, Khalil kicks off Men Seeking Men: A First Time Guide with a raw, judgment-free look at what it’s like to have sex with another man for the first time. We talk about the mental side of stepping into intimacy with a man, the importance of ongoing consent, and how to handle nerves and curiosity. Khalil breaks down the realities of oral sex, rimming, and anal basics—what it actually feels like, how to prepare, and how to take your time.

We also get real about top, bottom, and vers roles—why they’re just preferences in penetration, not personality types or proof of masculinity.

💡 For resources, articles, and the free private community app, tap into bisexualblackmen.com.

Referenced in This Episode

• CDC – Sexual Health & Consent Basics

• Mayo Clinic – Anal Sex: Tips for Safety

• Bisexual Resource Center – Language & Identity

Bi+ Black Men: Online Dating Culture

Khalil breaks down the world of online dating for men dating men for the first time—from Grindr, Jack’d, Scruff, Tinder, Hinge, and OkCupid to apps like BiCupid, Feeld, and Sniffies. We talk about how to start conversations without assumptions, how to flirt respectfully, common profile slang (NSA, UB2, PnP, “looking for generous”), and the red flags to avoid, like discriminatory language and shady vibes.

We also cover safe practices for meeting up in person, and Khalil closes with a reminder to protect yourself, move with intention, and stay true to who you are.

Next episode: How to Have Sex (for men seeking men for the first time).

Join the free community at bisexualblackmen.com, follow @bisexualblackmen on Instagram, and don’t forget to rate, share, and comment to help the podcast grow.

Khalil breaks down the bi+ spectrum—from sexual vs. romantic attraction to bisexual, pansexual, fluid, omni, ace, aromantic, and more. We also dive into the masc/fem spectrum, showing how these energies aren’t tied to sex or gender. Clear, real, and made for our community.

Join the free community at bisexualblackmen.com, follow @bisexualblackmen on Instagram, and don’t forget to rate, share, and comment to help us grow.

Referenced in This Episode

• Human Rights Campaign – Health Disparities Among Bisexual People

• Trevor Project – National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health

• Bisexual Resource Center – Bi+ spectrum definitions & resources

• Judith Butler – Gender Trouble (masc/fem spectrum & gender theory)