Sometimes we’re not horny for the person — we’re horny for the moment.

In this episode, we break down ten situations where arousal, curiosity, and freedom can trick us into choices we might regret later. From being high off validation, to mixing sex and substances, to chasing fantasy instead of connection — this is our honest guide to slowing down before the vibe turns into chaos.

We talk about social arousal, bi panic, party & play, and how being truly seen can feel erotic when you’ve lived life half-hidden. We’re not here to judge desire — we’re here to understand it.

Join us as we learn to recognize when we’re acting from the moment instead of our truth, and how self-control can actually deepen our freedom.

Let us know what you think — do you want more real-talk list episodes like this one?

Connect with us at bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.

Share the show, rate it five stars, and invite a friend — that’s how our community keeps growing.

Referenced in This Episode

Diamond, Lisa M. (2008). Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.

Journal of Sex Research (2016). Context-Dependent Arousal and Emotional Contagion.

Kleinplatz, Peggy J. (2018). Arousal and Intimacy Beyond Desire Models.

American Psychological Association (2022). The Psychology of Arousal and Identity.

Planned Parenthood (2023). Demisexuality and Emotional Attraction Explained.

What if the love that saves you isn’t romance — it’s brotherhood?

this episode dives into the quiet power of bromance and what it means for bi+ Black men who live between worlds. We talk about intimacy that isn’t performative, friendship that feels sacred, and how bi+ men can build safety, honesty, and trust both inside relationships and with their closest friends.

From challenging the myth that bisexual men can’t be loyal, to exploring how bromance energy can exist with women and femmes too, this conversation is all about learning to love without fear and connect without shame.

How do you like your episodes — quick and focused, or longer and deep-dive style? Let us know through bisexualblackmen.com or on Instagram at @bisexualblackmen.

Your feedback shapes the future of this space — and every share helps the platform grow.

Referenced in This Episode

Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).

hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).

Harvard Study of Adult Development (2018). Close Relationships and Lifespan Well-Being.

APA (2022). Men and Emotional Intimacy.

National Library of Medicine (2022). GL vs Heterosexual Infidelity Study.

PubMed (2014). Bisexuality and Infidelity-Related Emotions Study.

In this episode of Bi+ Black Men: The Podcast, we explore what it really means for men to embrace femininity—without apology and without losing themselves.

We unpack how patriarchy created a single, standardized image of manhood that left little room for softness, creativity, or grace. Together, we talk about masculinity as a performance, femininity as energy, and why so many of us are reclaiming balance instead of living in boxes.

We also discuss the value of fem-presenting men, how colonialism erased gender fluidity in African and Indigenous cultures, and gentle ways to lean into feminine energy—through expression, movement, and self-care. This conversation celebrates everyone connected to manhood, masculinity, and male identity in any form.

Referenced in This Episode

• hooks, bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. (2004).

• Oyěwùmí, Oyeronke. The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses. (1997).

• Way, Niobe. Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection. (2011).

• American Psychological Association (2022). Toxic Masculinity and Emotional Expression. apa.org

• Journal of Men’s Studies (2019). Masculine Gender Role Conflict and Emotional Well-Being.

• Rose, Tricia. The Hip Hop Wars. (2008).