Today on Bit Public Radio, host Lana Schur explores the ever-changing nature of cool.

Is "cool" determined by fashion? By celebrities? By invisible gravestones? By barbarian Goths invading Rome? Nobody seems entirely sure.

Correspondent Jimbo Brandywine travels to a Renaissance Faire to investigate the unexpected return of the Goths, only to uncover turkey economics, a family raised by actual turkeys, and one very confused human identity crisis.

Next, Flannery Wilson reports from Beverly Hills, where luxury shoppers have embraced the newest status symbol: gravestones that don't actually exist. The investigation somehow leads to ghost tourism, HOA disputes, Walt Disney, and a long-overdue confrontation with Mary Poppins.

Finally, former failed "CNN" investigative journalist Paisley Bowie uncovers an underground community living inside pottery kilns, where magical ashtray-producing fairies, eternal curses, and suspiciously enthusiastic smokers reveal the surprising intersection of ceramics and public broadcasting.

Throughout it all, Lana desperately attempts to keep an increasingly chaotic pledge drive on the rails—offering listeners everything from Butterball turkeys and job-shadowing opportunities to invisible burial plots and disgraced journalism awards.

Somewhere in there... someone might actually donate.

Butterball, Renaissance Faires, Goths (both Visigothic and Hot Topic), Vogue magazine, Patrick Swayze, pottery instructors, ceramics departments, ashtrays, smokers, non-smokers, Walt Disney, Mary Poppins, Julie Andrews, Disney Parks, cryogenic researchers, Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive, Louis Vuitton, homeowners associations, psychics, ghosts, goblins, fairies, turkey farmers, Renaissance turkey vendors, Robert Smith, The Cure, BBC journalists, NPR pledge drives, public radio tote bags, kiln manufacturers, pizza ovens, anyone currently preserving their brain for the future... and anyone attempting to start a fashionable invisible cemetery.

Credits

Director and Creator: Billy Merritt
Producer, Editor & Graphics: Hill Kane

Featuring:
Billy Merritt - Himself

Katya Vasilaky - Lana Schur, BPR Host
Jim Tripp - Jimbo Brandywine, Correspondent #1
Flannery Wilson - Correspondent #2
Dean Aisles - Paisley Bowie, Correspondent #3

BIT Crew playing various and sundry characters:
Don Slovin
Hill Kane
Geoff Taylor
Brent Kohler
Angela Washko
Luke Bovard

Music: BPR Theme Song: Lyrics Hill Kane, musical composition created on SUNO AI

Hosting: Libsyn

"The BIT" and "The BIT Improv Comedy Network" are trademarks owned by Billy Merritt.
© 2024–2026 Billy Merritt. All rights reserved.
Inquiries: TheBitComedyNetwork@gmail.com
Website: BITComedyNetwork.com

Production + Graphics: Hill Kane, Raising Kane Media + Marketing