Dom Starsia on Authentic Coaching, Sacrifice, and Relationships That Outlast Wins

We believe that there is no algorithm for leadership. So we ask the world's great coaches how they do it.

From Charlottesville, Virginia, former Virginia lacrosse coach Dom Starsia reflects on learning from coaching greats while ultimately finding success through authenticity—taking useful ideas from others but staying comfortable in your own skin. He explains how team excellence depends on selflessness and sacrifice, sharing examples of players changing roles for the good of the group, and why “no big games” means consistent preparation and focusing on the process of daily improvement. Starsia describes a gratitude ritual—reminding players they have much to be thankful for—and reframes toughness as consistency and a willingness to communicate. He emphasizes positive language over sarcasm, learning from “scars” and mistakes, and concludes that wins and losses are fickle, but relationships endure and should never be spoiled in pursuit of victory. If you would like to send us any feedback or if you know a great coach, who has a unique story to share, then we would love to hear from you, please contact us at paul@thegreatcoachespodcast.com and if you would like to receive our newsletter with 5 ideas to help you improve your leadership, then sign up at: https://thegreatcoaches.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Here are three self-reflective questions based on the interview:

1.Where in my life am I trying to copy someone else’s style instead of trusting my own authentic way of leading or contributing?

2.What does “toughness as consistency” look like for me?

3.when could I choose more positive or patient language?

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