Take the free quiz to find out why you're stuck in a sex rut: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

What does it actually take to feel dominant in the bedroom, and why do so many of us freeze up when it's our turn to lead? In this episode, Heather sits down with Amanda Dames, a kink consultant and former professional dominatrix, to break down the real skills behind dominance, submission, and power dynamics in a relationship.

Amanda spent two years working at a dungeon while holding down a corporate job at the Wall Street Journal, and she brings that hands-on experience into a real conversation about how dominant and submissive roles actually work, how to figure out your own authentic style, and how to vet a partner for safety before you ever get started. They cover the different types of Doms (Master, Traditional Dom, Caretaker Dom, and Pleasure Dom), the different types of submissives (service subs, slaves, baby girls and boys), the red flags that signal an unhealthy power dynamic, and why most of what we see about kink and BDSM in movies sets totally unrealistic expectations.

If you're ready to go deeper than a podcast episode, visit https://HeatherShannon.co to request a free consultation and learn about Heather's signature Pathway to Passion coaching program.

Timestamps: 0:00 Amanda's path from marine biology to the Wall Street Journal to a Craigslist dominatrix job 4:30 Discovering a more powerful, dominant version of herself 8:00 What a Dom's real job actually is, and how to avoid burnout 17:00 Why you need to talk to your partner before you talk divorce 19:30 How a real negotiation between a Dom and a client actually works 26:30 Why being patient with yourself matters more than getting it right the first time 30:00 The four types of Dominants, explained 36:20 The submissive types, and how to find your own style 37:50 How to vet a Dom (or any partner) for safety 45:00 Why movies like Secretary and Baby Girl are not how-to videos 51:00 Amanda's free worksheet for talking about your desires with confidence

Take the free quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Learn more about Heather's Pathway to Passion coaching: https://HeatherShannon.co

Get Amanda's free worksheet, Speaking Your Desires With Confidence: https://AmandaDames.com

Want help figuring out your own needs before you bring them to your partner? Take the free Intimacy Audit: https://HeatherShannon.co (click the pop-up)

In this episode . . .

Great sex isn't about mind reading. If you've stayed silent about what you want, tried to bring it up and gotten shut down, or you're with someone who clams up at the mention of sex, this episode gives you six steps to actually say what you need without putting your partner on the defensive.

AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon breaks down how to talk about your sexual needs, desires, and fantasies in a way that builds connection instead of conflict. You'll learn the difference between framing something as a "need" versus a "want," how to figure out what you actually desire when you're not sure, and how to bring up bigger topics, like having a threesome, without blowing up the conversation.

Find out:

• Why calling something a sexual "need" instead of a "want" can create unintended pressure or resentment
• How to start identifying your own desires, even if you've never really thought about it before
• The difference between healthy support and codependency in a relationship, and why it matters for your sex life
• A real example of how to bring up a fantasy with your partner without making it weird
• What to say when your partner brings up something you're not into
• How to negotiate sexual differences so both people still feel like themselves

Curious about coaching with Heather? Request a free consultation at https://HeatherShannon.co.

Can women really have the best sex of their lives after 50... or even 60?

In this episode, sex therapist, relationship coach, and tantra educator Maria Merloni shares why many women lose interest in sex, what might actually be causing it, and how one surprising practice transformed her own sex life at age 60.

We discuss desire, orgasm quality, menopause, body confidence, trauma, tantra, and why feeling more connected to your body may be the missing piece for a more fulfilling sex life.

In this episode, you'll learn:

💜 Why women often lose interest in sex as they age

💜 The connection between pleasure, desire, and orgasm quality

💜 Why great sex doesn't have to decline after menopause

💜 How body image affects sexual confidence

💜 The role of tantra in healing and intimacy

💜 The difference between masturbation and self-yoni massage

💜 How presence and body awareness can improve your sex life

Connect with Maria:

Free Yoni Ritual Guide:

https://mariamerloni.com/ritual/

Website:

https://mariamerloni.com

Ready to improve your relationship and sex life?

Take my free quiz:

https://heathershannon.co/quiz

Work with Heather:

https://heathershannon.co

This is a reminder I'm publishing every other week June-August of 2026 and will resume weekly publishing in September! This is a great time to catch up on past episodes.

#SexForCouples #WomenOver50 #Menopause #LowLibido #Tantra #SexTherapy #Relationships #Intimacy #FemaleDesire #SexAfter50

SUMMER SCHEDULE! I'll be publishing every other week during June, July & August so we can all enjoy our family time and travels. I'll resume weekly publishing September 7th, 2026.

If you’re secretly wondering what your cross-dressing means about you — or terrified what would happen if your partner fully knew — this episode is for you.

Many men who cross-dress struggle with shame, confusion, secrecy, and questions about identity. And hiding it for too long can create much bigger relationship problems than the dressing itself.

In this episode of Sex for Couples, certified sex therapist and intimacy coach Heather Shannon breaks down the psychology of cross-dressing, why it can feel emotionally and sexually powerful, and how couples can navigate it honestly inside a committed relationship.

You’ll learn the difference between cross-dressing, kink, drag, and gender identity — plus why secrecy, shame, and emotional suppression often become part of the cycle.

Heather also explores feminization, sissification, submissive dynamics, internal family systems (IFS), and the emotional relief many people experience when they’re finally allowed to express hidden parts of themselves.

Whether you’re exploring this personally or trying to understand your partner better, this episode offers a compassionate, nuanced perspective without shame or judgment.

In This Episode:

• The difference between cross-dressing and being transgender
• Why cross-dressing can feel emotionally relieving or sexually exciting
• The psychology behind feminization and sissification kinks
• How masculinity pressures contribute to secrecy and shame
• Why many people use cross-dressing as emotional escape or self-expression
• The connection between cross-dressing and submissive dynamics
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) explains different “parts” of ourselves
• What healthy honesty and integration can look like in long-term relationships
• How secrecy around kinks can damage trust and intimacy
• Questions to ask yourself if you’re exploring gender identity

If this episode helped you better understand yourself, your partner, or your relationship dynamic, follow Sex for Couples for honest conversations about intimacy, desire, emotional connection, and sexual psychology.

Take My Free Relationship & Intimacy Quiz: https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Interested in coaching with Heather? Request a consultation: https://HeatherShannon.co

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or mental health treatment.

If you still love each other but sex has become rare, tense, or complicated, this episode will help you understand what changed.

In this episode of Sex for Couples, Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon talks with Author & Founder Ralph Brewer who wrote The Dead Bedroom Fix and founded of HelpForMen.com. The explore why sex can feel effortless early in a relationship — and then slowly start to feel like work.

They discuss the emotional reality of dead bedrooms, sexless marriage, mismatched libido, attachment styles, long-term monogamy, parenting stress, and why many couples feel confused when love is still there but desire has faded.

You’ll hear why this pattern is so common, why it can feel especially painful for men, and what couples can start paying attention to if they want to rebuild sexual connection without blame or pressure.

• Why sex often changes after marriage, commitment, and kids

• How dead bedrooms happen even in loving relationships

• Why men often experience low sexual connection as rejection

• How anxious and avoidant attachment patterns affect intimacy

• What self-improvement has to do with rebuilding desire

00:00 – Introduction to Ralph Brewer and His Journey

02:43 – Coping with Infidelity and the Importance of Male Friendships

05:36 – The Impact of Sexual Dynamics in Long-Term Relationships

08:31 – Understanding the Dead Bedroom Phenomenon

11:27 – The Role of Hormones and Aging in Relationships

14:14 – Community Support and Its Importance in Parenting

17:13 – Adjusting Expectations in Long-Term Relationships

21:42 – Navigating Relationship Changes

23:50 – The Impact of Life Stressors on Relationships

25:31 – Reviving the Bedroom: A Focus on Self-Improvement

28:40 – The Importance of Secure Communication

30:32 – Understanding Attachment Styles

34:33 – The Balance of Masculinity and Femininity

40:07 – Exploring Monogamy and Novelty in Relationships

🌐 Help For Men

https://helpformen.com

🌐 Coaching & Resources

https://HeatherShannon.co

🔥 Take the Free Quiz: Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut

https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Sometimes your body changes — weight gain, new wrinkles, giving birth, surgery, balding, etc. And when that happens, it can deeply affect the way you experience desire, sexual confidence, intimacy, and your whole identity as a sexual being.

In this episode, Heather explores the grief of bodily change, the unrealistic expectations many people have about sexuality staying the same forever, and the ways self-monitoring and body image struggles can create barriers to intimacy and pleasure.

You’ll also hear practical mindset shifts and emotional tools to help you reconnect with feeling sexy, desirable, embodied, and alive in the body you have now.

Topics include:

• Sexual identity and changing bodies

• Aging, perimenopause, and body image

• Erection changes and vaginal dryness

• Chronic pain, surgery, and disability

• Feeling disconnected from your body sexually

• Why self-monitoring kills pleasure

• Cultural beauty standards and desirability

• Botox, cosmetic procedures, and body optimization culture

• Reclaiming confidence and sexuality

• How thoughts shape sexual confidence and desire

Resources & Links:

Heather’s Amazon Storefront:

https://www.amazon.com/shop/heathershannonlcpc

Take The Why You’re Stuck In A Sex Rut Quiz:

https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Request an Unlock Your Passion Call with Heather:

https://calendly.com/hshann1/ignite

Prior Episode – Confidence From The Outside In with Kimmy Seltzer:

https://pod.fo/e/16fa44

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a review, share it with someone who may need it, and follow the show for more conversations about sex, intimacy, relationships, and emotional connection.

If sex has started feeling like one more thing you're supposed to do in your relationship . . . this episode is for you.

Maybe you still love your partner… but sex feels heavy, pressured, awkward, or emotionally draining. You want to want it — but instead you find yourself avoiding initiation, feeling disconnected, or wondering why intimacy feels so different than it used to.

In this episode, Heather talks with sex and intimacy coach Xanet Pailet about the emotional patterns that quietly turn passionate relationships into roommate dynamics — including resentment, emotional disconnection, unresolved conflict, and feeling emotionally unsafe with your partner.

They also discuss:

• Why couples stop wanting sex over time
• The emotional roots of sexless marriages
• Why unresolved resentment kills intimacy
• How emotional safety impacts desire
• Why many couples feel lonely even when they “never fight”
• The hidden patterns underneath low desire
• Why sex can start feeling like another chore
• How couples rebuild emotional and sexual connection

Xanet also shares her personal story of surviving a 26-year sexless marriage, healing sexual shame and vaginismus, and eventually becoming a sex and intimacy coach helping couples reconnect emotionally and physically.

If you’ve been feeling emotionally disconnected, stuck in resentment, or struggling to understand why attraction has faded in your relationship, this conversation will help you understand what’s really happening underneath the surface.

🎧 Listen now to understand why sex changes in long-term relationships — and what actually helps couples feel close again.

Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• Your partner “should” want sex more
• You’re constantly navigating pressure or rejection
• Emotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life

…this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)
• How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacy
• The hidden ways higher desire partners create pressure
• Why emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sex
• How to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressure
• The role of childhood conditioning in your sex life

Guest Resources Mentioned:

• Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage Advice
• Monica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

❤️ Ready to improve your sex life?

Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship:

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation:

👉 https://HeatherShannon.co