Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• Your partner “should” want sex more
• You’re constantly navigating pressure or rejection
• Emotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life

…this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)
• How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacy
• The hidden ways higher desire partners create pressure
• Why emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sex
• How to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressure
• The role of childhood conditioning in your sex life

Guest Resources Mentioned:

• Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage Advice
• Monica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

❤️ Ready to improve your sex life?

Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship:

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation:

👉 https://HeatherShannon.co

Struggling with mismatched libidos in your relationship? You’re not alone—and the real problem isn’t what you think.

In this episode, I’m joined by relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack the hidden dynamics behind desire discrepancy. We dive into why couples get stuck in cycles of pressure and rejection, how small disappointments turn into long-term resentment, and what both partners may be doing (without realizing it) to keep the pattern going.

If you’ve ever felt like:

• Your partner “should” want sex more
• You’re constantly navigating pressure or rejection
• Emotional connection isn’t translating into a better sex life

…this episode will help you understand why—and what to do differently.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why desire discrepancy is really a relationship dynamic (not just a libido issue)
• How “building a case” against your partner destroys intimacy
• The hidden ways higher desire partners create pressure
• Why emotional intimacy alone doesn’t fix sex
• How to expand your definition of sex and reduce pressure
• The role of childhood conditioning in your sex life

Guest Resources Mentioned:

• Monica Tanner’s book: Bad Marriage Advice
• Monica Tanner's website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

❤️ Ready to improve your sex life?

Take my free quiz to discover what’s really blocking intimacy in your relationship:

👉 https://TheBetterBedroom.com

Or, if you’re ready for personalized support, book a free consultation:

👉 https://HeatherShannon.co

Thinking about opening your relationship—but already feeling tension, anxiety, or uncertainty?

You’re not alone.

For many couples, conversations about non-monogamy or open relationships quickly become overwhelming. One partner may feel excited and ready to explore, while the other feels hesitant, worried, or emotionally unsafe.

In this episode, I break down why that happens—and how to approach non-monogamy in a way that actually supports your relationship instead of destabilizing it.

Because the truth is:

👉 Non-monogamy isn’t the problem.

👉 The issue is how couples navigate it—especially when emotional safety isn’t fully established.

• Why non-monogamy often feels unsafe early on (even when both people are open to it)
• The #1 mistake couples make: moving too fast—in conversations or actions
• How non-monogamy can quietly become one-sided (and lead to resentment)
• Why staying surface-level in communication creates more insecurity
• What it actually takes to build emotional safety in open relationships
• Why even doing everything “right” won’t make the process perfect—and what to expect instead

This episode is especially helpful if:

• You’re just starting to discuss non-monogamy
• One of you is excited—and the other is unsure
• You’ve tried opening things up and it didn’t go well
• You want to explore ethically without damaging trust
• You’re navigating differences in sexual desire, curiosity, or identity

Want help figuring out what non-monogamy could actually look like for you?

Download my Quick Start Guide to Non-Monogamy Options—a practical overview of different relationship structures and ways to explore safely:

👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/ELDCt5tG

If you want support navigating this with your partner—especially if things feel tense, confusing, or emotionally loaded—I can help.

I specialize in helping couples work through: navigating non-monogamy, kink differences, and mismatched libidos.

👉 Book a consultation here:

https://HeatherShannon.co

non-monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, how to open a relationship, non-monogamous relationship advice, relationship communication, emotional safety in relationships, polyamory, swinging, sexual compatibility, couples therapy, intimacy coaching