Sex After 50 doesn’t have to decline — in fact, for many people, it gets better. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist, Heather is joined by Karen Bigman, a sex and relationship coach specializing in midlife and sex after 50, for an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about aging, desire, body changes, and intimacy.

They explore why so many couples assume that low libido, painful sex, or loss of desire is just “part of getting older” — and why that belief is often what actually harms a sex life the most.

From menopause and perimenopause to body image, shame, communication, and emotional intimacy, this episode reframes sex after 50 as something that can be playful, connected, and deeply satisfying.

You’ll hear practical insights about:

1. Why sex drive changes with age — and why that doesn’t mean sex is over
2. How menopause, hormones, and vaginal health affect desire and pleasure
3. Why mental foreplay, laughter, and connection matter more than performance
4. How to talk about sex with a partner when it feels awkward or intimidating
5. Letting go of obligatory sex and rebuilding pleasure without pressure
6. Why kissing, novelty, and communication are essential for long-term intimacy

This conversation is especially helpful for:

1. People navigating midlife, perimenopause, or menopause
2. Couples wondering how to keep sex fun and connected after 50
3. Anyone struggling with desire discrepancy, body confidence, or sexual shame
4. People curious about sex and aging
5. Partners who want to better support each other through aging and change

If you’ve ever wondered whether great sex is still possible later in life, this episode offers reassurance, science-backed insight, and permission to stop forcing what doesn’t work — and start enjoying what does.

Find out more about Karen Bigman, her podcast, courses and ARYA discount at: https://www.taboototruth.com/podcast

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sex and Aging

04:03 Debunking Myths About Sex After 50

08:33 The Role of Hormones in Sexual Health

11:56 The Importance of Self-Compassion

14:21 Body Image and Self-Perception

17:16 Common Struggles in Sexuality After 50

21:13 The Necessity of Sex for Health

22:54 Dating and Communication in Later Life

23:33 Navigating Aging and Intimacy

24:28 Emotional Intimacy and Communication

25:48 The Art of Kissing

27:21 Exploring Playfulness in Relationships

28:32 Mental Foreplay and Connection

29:00 Kissing Techniques for Better Connection

31:17 Addressing Kissing Preferences

32:50 Overcoming Communication Barriers

34:29 Small Steps to Enhance Intimacy

36:00 The Importance of Novelty in Relationships

37:28 Quality Over Quantity in Sexual Relationships

39:12 Resources for Enhancing Intimacy

Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon explores the common sexual assumptions and misunderstandings that derail couples' sex lives. She discusses how past experiences shape current perceptions, the importance of maintaining a growth mindset, the influence of hedonic conditioning and the need for open communication to navigate assumptions. The conversation emphasizes the role of curiosity in fostering intimacy and understanding between partners.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Sexual Assumptions

05:40 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Relationships

10:46 Mindset and Its Role in Sexual Communication

14:34 Navigating Assumptions in Long-Term Relationships

20:40 The Importance of Curiosity in Intimacy

Work With Heather

Want to get out of your sex rut? Request a free consultation for Heather's signature Pathway to Passion coaching program. Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call

Video Version

Check out the video version of this epsiode on our YouTube channel here: https://youtu.be/hyyz4ZyY65A

In this episode, Heather Shannon delves into the hidden reasons why sex becomes frustrating in long-term relationships. She explores four types of stories and meanings that couples attach to their sex lives, which often lead to emotional suffering. Through examples and frameworks like existential kink and internal family systems, Heather provides insights into how these unconscious belief patterns affect relationships and offers ways to reframe and address them for healthier connections.

Looking to get past sexual pressure or frustration and feel authentically close and excited again? Book a free consultation to see if coaching with Heather or a member of her team could be a good fit! Booking A Consultation With The Right Person