This title refers to both Nickelodeon nostalgia and umpiring. Go figure! Prelim weekend delivered easily the best combined action of our seven years watching this sport, and we go over all of it, plus other newsworthy items and postmortems for the losets.

Millions of families suffer every year… just like [insert quantity] of Rams fans suffered after their team neglected Australia for as long as possible, despite it being their designated market. Yup, we lead off with a heavy dose of NFL talk, then bridge into the footy kind of like a fellow Bay Area sports personality did. After a predictable Luke Jackson domination, Geelong's exit means we get easily our longest postmortem segment, while the second semi-final provided a similarly predictable story arc.

Ethan decided to pull a Scott Pendlebury and manage himself to bring up the big 300 at home! While this weekend lacked any heart-palpitation-inducing finishes, there was enough satisfaction to be had across the four-game slate, particularly for our holder host on Friday. Saturday's qualifier certainly provided the most shocking run of events, which Benjamin partially experienced via radio. We keep up with postmortems and awards as well!

Like or not, the wild card games are here to stay after the exceptional product and drama we saw on Friday and Saturday. We rejoice because of friend of the program Arty Jones, while we lament the Dees doing largely what we expected. Postmortems for the losers are included per usual for our finals episodes.

Our postmortems for the teams that missed out on finals continue here, including Benjamin's long-awaited lashing out against a whole lot of folks in blue and gold. We also provide reasons why each of the 10 finalists can and can't win the flag; stick around until the end for that!

Safe to say the teams we’re talking about in this episode did not live up to the title quote. As we do every year, we give postmortems for the teams that failed to make finals, because when history is written by the winners, someone needs to talk about the losers. Part 2 coming soon!

Back to bad pun areas with Ethan, I see. The deadest of closing rounds in recent memory still had a decent bit going on, particularly Saturday as the 5 to 10 spots were sorted out. The league probably didn’t get what they wanted in terms of matchups, but they’ll be able to steer clear of a greater issue down the line. Benjamin says a not-so-fond farewell to the Eagles’ season, and we also begin to look at the bigger picture — something we’ll continue in “So You Didn’t Crack the 10” later this week!

Now which player is the subject of this revelation? This was a bit of an awkward episode to record, because it’s hard to stay lighthearted when something as grave as the Swans scandal arises. We did our best, though, to keep the focus on the good of football this past week, including Draw FC’s greatest act this millennium.