Love My Gay Dad

A closeted father. A limp-wrist confession I mocked instead of heard. And years of quiet, buried grief hiding behind a good handshake.

This one's personal, and it's got teeth.

Music: "Awaken Child" by Alex Kaplan. Listen and follow him wherever you stream music.

One ask. I don't ask for donations. I don't want your money through Patreon, Venmo, or any other platform. And I have no intention of taking advertising dollars, now or ever. What I do value is knowing these episodes are heard.

So if this one meant something to you, follow American Refugee on Spotify, or subscribe wherever you listen. Then share it with one person who needs to hear it. That's how a small, independent show grows, and it's the only support I'm asking for.

For the written word, with deeper dives, more receipts, and the same voice, find me on Substack: @kbamericanrefugee

Stay awake out there.
American Refugee

If any part of this story is yours, whether you're the one still in the closet, the one who loves someone who is, or the one who didn't listen when it mattered, these people can help:

• LGBT National Help Center: peer support and information for all ages, including people still closeted. ⁠1-888-843-4564⁠ · ⁠lgbthotline.org⁠• SAGE LGBT Elder Hotline: for older LGBTQ+ adults and those who love them. ⁠1-877-360-5428⁠ · ⁠sageusa.org⁠• PFLAG: support for LGBTQ+ people and their families. ⁠pflag.org⁠• The Trevor Project: 24/7 crisis support for LGBTQ+ young people, ages 13–24. ⁠1-866-488-7386⁠ · text START to 678-678• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 for crisis support (US)

Dreaming Again



My report cards all said the same thing: "He appears to be daydreaming a lot." They were right.



This episode is about the dreams we chase and the ones we let go. I walked away from the Carson dream to be home for my kids. Then in 2022, a "now or never" moment brought my dreams back, literally. And one night in Phuket, I followed the sound of "Beat It" into a parking lot and found a little girl in a school uniform, busking under a tip jar that read "Pay for School."

That girl was Nene Royal. She just won America's Got Talent. Her dream that night wasn't fame. It was school. I haven't stopped thinking about that since.



One ask. I don't ask for donations. I don't want your money through any platform. And I have no intention of taking advertising dollars, now or ever. What I do value is knowing these episodes are heard.



So if this one meant something to you, follow American Refugee on Spotify, or subscribe wherever you listen. Then share it with one person who's still chasing a dream. That's how a small, independent show grows, and it's the only support I'm asking for.

For the written word, with deeper dives, more receipts, and the same voice, find me on Substack at @kbamericanrefugee

Stay awake out there.
American Refugee


Embarrassed to Be a Minnesotan, and Even More an American

Michele Tafoya says people keep telling her they're embarrassed to be from Minnesota. So I checked.

Turns out the embarrassment is real. It's just not built on rumors. It's built on the record: a state legislator's assassination, a mother shot by ICE, a nurse who cared for veterans killed by federal agents, children gunned down at a Catholic school, and a national picture that gets darker the further you zoom out.

And that rhetorical trick Tafoya runs, "people tell me," is the same one that's been running this whole country for years. I checked that too.

Sources & further reading:
• Michele Tafoya's "people tell me" quote (FOX 9): fox9.com/news/michele-tafoya-fraud-affordability-immigration-minnesotas-us-senate-race
• 2025 shootings of Minnesota legislators: Hortman, Hoffman, Boelter (Wikipedia): en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2025_shootings_of_Minnesota_legislators
• Killing of Renée Good (CNN): cnn.com/2026/01/08/us/renee-nicole-good-minneapolis-ice-shooting-hnk
• Killing of Alex Pretti (NPR): npr.org/2026/01/25/nx-s1-5687361/minneapolis-shooting-latest-alex-pretti
• Annunciation Catholic School shooting (AP/PBS): pbs.org/newshour/nation/shooting-reported-at-minnesota-school
• National debt interest surpassing the defense budget (Washington Post): washingtonpost.com/opinions/interactive/2026/08/31/why-americas-interest-payments-are-suddenly-spiking
• Trump's 21,000+ disclosed stock trades (ABC News): abcnews.com/Politics/trump-discloses-21000-securities-trades-year-office/story?id=134427666
• Trump's disclosed crypto income and family holdings (CBS News): cbsnews.com/news/trump-over-1-billion-on-crypto-ventures-financial-disclosures
• Regional death toll since October 2023 in Gaza, Lebanon, the West Bank, and Iran: UN OCHA / UNRWA situation reports; Wikipedia, "Casualties of the Gaza war"

One ask. I don't ask for donations. I don't want your money through Patreon, Venmo, or any other platform. And I have no intention of taking advertising dollars, now or ever. What I do value is knowing these episodes are heard.

So if this one meant something to you, follow American Refugee on Spotify, or subscribe wherever you listen. Then share it with one person who needs to hear it. That's how a small, independent show grows, and it's the only support I'm asking for.

For the written word, with deeper dives, more receipts, and the same voice, find me on Substack: @kbamericanrefugee

Stay awake out there.
American Refugee

I just voted from thousands of miles away — birthdate, state ID, Social Security number, signature, the works, just to get a ballot mailed to me.

So when someone claims foreigners are sneaking into American elections, I have some thoughts. This episode is the actual math on voter fraud, the real security checks your ballot goes through, and why the people repeating the "rigged election" line the loudest usually haven't checked their own state's rules — or their own voting history.

More from me: find the full essays and everything else at @kbamericanrefugee on Substack.

Show Notes — How to Check Your Own State's Absentee Voting Rules:

• Vote.org — Absentee Ballot Rules by State: vote.org/absentee-voting-rules/ (clear breakdown of excuse vs. no-excuse states, deadlines, ID requirements)

• USA.gov — Absentee Voting & Voting by Mail: usa.gov/absentee-voting

• U.S. Vote Foundation — built specifically for overseas and military voters: usvotefoundation.org

• AARP's 2026 state-by-state voting guide: aarp.org/government-elections/how-to-vote-2026/

Rules, deadlines, and ID requirements vary significantly by state — always double-check directly with your state's official election site before you vote.

Intro/outro music: "Awaken Child" by Alex Kaplan — used with artist permission. New music from Alex, coming soon wherever you stream.

Doing Time: Age Discrimination

After a certain age, the job market can start to feel like a sentence you didn't earn. The interviews dry up, the "overqualified" emails roll in, and you start wondering if it's you.

It's not. In this episode of American Refugee, I talk about age discrimination: what it looks like, why it's so easy to dismiss, and what it does to people who still have plenty to give.

If you're dealing with it right now, you're not imagining it. Here are a few real resources:

• AARP: Age Discrimination Fact Sheet & Rights: aarp.org/work/age-discrimination/fact-sheet/
• AARP Foundation: free legal resources for older adults facing workplace age discrimination: aarp.org/aarp-foundation
• U.S. EEOC: file an age discrimination charge: 1-800-669-4000 · eeoc.gov
• Know your rights: the Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA) protects workers 40 and older in hiring, firing, pay, promotions, and layoffs, at employers with 20 or more employees.

If this one hits home, follow American Refugee Substack or on Spotify, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you've lived this yourself, hit reply. I'd like to hear your story.

Intro/outro music: "Awaken Child" by Alex Kaplan, used with the artist's permission. New music from Alex is coming soon; listen wherever you stream music.

Stay awake out there.

American Refugee

Eisenhower warned us about the military-industrial complex. He never got to meet it's replacement - an industry which swallowed up a fifth of our entire economy and still can't keep us as health as almost anywhere else on Earth. The numbers, the receipts, and one very expensive lesson which includes buying a house in Japan

Listen and follow Alex Kaplan where you stream music!

Follow me on Substack - The American Refugee @kbamericanrefugee

Thanks for listening

AMERICAN REFUGEE: EPISODE 4 NENE ROYAL, THE GIRL WITH A GUITAR AS BIG AS SHE IS

Long before Howie Mandel compared her to Hendrix, before the Golden Buzzer, performance pulled nine million views in a week - she was the kid with a guitar bigger than she was, playing a night market in Phuket, Thailand. Tonight she's in the America's Got Talent Finals. Here's her story, and why I think you should watch!

Intro/outro music: "Awaken Child" by Alex Kaplan, used with artists permission. New music from Alex coming soon - go find him.

Follow me on Substack - The American Refugee @kbamericanrefugee

AMERICAN REFUGEE: EPISODE 3 - THE BUSINESS OF DEPARTURE

A dying friend. A family restaurant that's fed the same neighborhood for generations. And a hard look at how America prices dignity by the month while the rest of the world still knows how to sit with someone until the end. This one's personal.

Intro/outro music: "Awaken Child" by Alex Kaplan, used with artists permission. New music from Alex coming soon - go find him.

Follow me on Substack - The American Refugee @kbamericanrefugee