『AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing』のカバーアート

AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing

AND/BOTH Podcast - Real Conversations, Shared Experiences, and the Community You've Been Missing

著者： Dr. Ashley Blackington
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Hear from moms in all different scenarios doing their absolute best to honor themselves as individuals in a world that would prefer, as mothers, we not. ⁠ ⁠ Hear from moms who are trying to figure out what that "something" is after the life altering transition into motherhood.⁠ ⁠ Hear from moms that say "I know I need to do something for myself and this is what it is, but it feels impossible to do it"⁠ ⁠ What is the AND/BOTH that you are juggling with motherhood? Career, hobbies, entrepreneurship, new identity, new activities, new passions and interests?⁠© 2025 AND/BOTH Company, LLC 人間関係 子育て 心理学 心理学・心の健康 社会科学 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • 129. No More Mediocre: The Mental Load, the Nag Paradox & Why You Can't Win — with Laura Danger

    129. No More Mediocre: The Mental Load, the Nag Paradox & Why You Can't Win — with Laura Danger
    2026/08/21
    Laura Danger got laid off five days into her maternity leave. Then she opened a birthday card that said best mom, best wife — and realized she couldn’t remember the last time anyone asked if she was doing okay as a person. That stack of moments became No More Mediocre, her book about the mental load, the nag paradox, and the care work that holds everything together while remaining completely invisible.In this conversation, Ashley and Laura talk about the Truman Show moment that cracks open the life you thought you wanted, why the nag paradox is a loop you literally cannot win, what sitcom syndrome is doing to households across the country, and how a garden club in Chicago became something much bigger than anyone expected.In This EpisodeLaura’s Truman Show moment — laid off on maternity leave, a birthday card that only named her roles, and 2020 doing the restWhat the mental load actually is — and why the emotional thinking work definition mattersWeaponized incompetence — what it is and how it shows up in real relationshipsThe nag paradox — the corrosive loop of directing and executing, and why doing it yourself only makes it worseSitcom syndrome — how couples comedy on TikTok normalizes dynamics that can be genuinely toxic behind closed doorsWhy high-achieving women often can’t separate their anger at the system from the person right in front of them — and what to do about itThe career rug pull as the new midlife crisis for men — and what that means for conversations about equity at homeWhat the 2026 Equimundo State of the World’s Fathers report found — and why it’s hauntingLinchpin exhaustion — why Ashley couldn’t snowboard freely because of what it would cost her family if she got hurtWhy believing in equal roles leads to less conflict even when the division of labor isn’t equalZone defense parenting — and why taking the average over time beats snapshot accountingThe garden club that became a care network — free plants, seed libraries, and neighbors who know each other’s namesNo More Mediocre the book — and why the audiobook is specifically designed to listen to while you gardenQuotes From This Episode“I felt bamboozled. I really thought I could change things or just work really hard and this would get better. And it didn’t.”— Laura Danger“I can’t die because I have knowledge that nobody else has. I know the schedule.”— Laura Danger“The nag paradox is that corrosive relationship loop where one person takes direction and the other directs.”— Laura Danger“It’s not just a garden club. It’s a full-blown care network.”— Laura Danger“I am here, I am wearing the name tag, I am doing the thing. But that doesn’t mean it’s my responsibility.”— Ashley BlackingtonResources & LinksNo More Mediocre (book): available everywhere books are sold — audiobook recommendedLibro FM (supports local bookstores): libro.fmInstagram: @thatdarnchatSubstack: search Laura DangerEquimundo State of the World’s Fathers 2026: equimundo.orgFair Play by Eve Rodsky — mentioned as companion resourceDrained by Leah Ruppaner — mentioned in conversationConnect with Ashley:Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.comPodcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822Instagram: @mydovetail.appLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/
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    58 分
  • 128. Becky Selbie on Mums Who Look Like They’re Coping but Feel Like They’re Failing

    128. Becky Selbie on Mums Who Look Like They’re Coping but Feel Like They’re Failing
    2026/08/07

    Becky Selbie is a London-based psychotherapist who specialises in motherhood and maternal mental health — and she has a gift for taking the frameworks she uses in her therapy room and translating them into language that actually lands in everyday life.

    In this conversation, Ashley and Becky cover a lot of ground: matrescence and why the word matters so much, the rule book that high-achieving women carry into motherhood that starts working against them the moment they get there, the mums who look like they’re coping but feel like they’re failing, the difference between motherhood and mothering, and why the inner critic telling you you’re not good enough isn’t your voice — it’s the noise of a culture that has never held mothers in the regard they deserve.

    It’s one of those conversations that leaves you seeing yourself differently.

    In This Episode

    • How Becky came to specialise in maternal mental health — giving birth and thinking “how has nobody prepared me for this?”
    • Matrescence — why the word matters, where it came from, and why it took 50 years to reach mainstream language
    • The moment Becky heard it for the first time and ran downstairs to tell her husband
    • Sharing the concept with her mother — who had her first child in the 1960s and was prescribed tranquilizers for what was actually matrescence
    • Why high-achieving women struggle in motherhood more than others — and the rule book that explains why
    • Mums who look like they’re coping but feel like they’re failing — and what the swan metaphor gets exactly right
    • The “tab open” metaphor — why you never feel fully disconnected from your children even when you’re away from them
    • Not loving every chapter — and why that has nothing to do with how much you love your kids
    • The problem with parenting content on social media — theory without context, and who pays the price
    • Why Becky’s clinical supervisor said “well, she will” when a client was terrified of messing up her kids — and why that was the most freeing thing she’d ever heard
    • Motherhood vs. mothering — the doing versus the being, and why we’re graded on the wrong one
    • The inner critic is the patriarchy — and why turning down its volume is the whole point
    • What fills Becky’s bucket: creativity, building community, and the retreat she’s planning for mums

    Quotes From This Episode

    “Not loving motherhood doesn’t mean that you don’t love mothering. Just because you don’t enjoy bits of motherhood, there is no connection to how you feel about your kids.”

    — Becky Selbie

    “The inner critic is wrong. The inner critic is the patriarchy — it’s society, it’s all those messages about what motherhood should look like. And it’s nonsense.”

    — Becky Selbie

    “Motherhood is the doing. Mothering is the being — the relationship, the love, the knowing them inside out. But we’re graded on the doing.”

    — Becky Selbie

    “Even when you’re away, there’s a tab open all the time in your head. It’s just that as they get older, the tab gets smaller.”

    — Becky Selbie

    “Don’t compare the back end of your business to the front end of somebody else’s.”

    — Ashley Blackington

    Connect with Becky:

    • Instagram: @_motherway_
    • Website: motherway.co.uk

    Connect with Ashley:

    Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.com

    Podcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/

    Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822

    Instagram: @mydovetail.app

    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/
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    1 時間
  • 127. Day Raves, Dinner Parties & Polymer Clay: Katie Schlott’s Experiment in Authentic Networking

    127. Day Raves, Dinner Parties & Polymer Clay: Katie Schlott’s Experiment in Authentic Networking
    2026/07/24
    Katie Schlott spent 20 years in innovation — running experiments, iterating, testing what works. So when she realized her professional network had quietly gone dark during the years she was deep in parenting, she did what any good strategist would do: she designed an experiment.Day raves. Pop-up dinners in strangers’ homes. Perfume making fundraisers. Online Slack communities. Wonder Woman dinners. A volunteer board for women’s health research. She tried all of it, wrote about it for Inc Magazine, and then came back on AND/BOTH to talk through what she actually found.The conversation covers the new rules of networking, why smaller rooms build realer connections, how parents in particular need to rethink the whole model, and what happens when you decide to build the community you can’t find. Plus Costco. A lot about Costco.In This EpisodeWhy Katie ran a networking experiment — and what the traditional model was missingThe day rave, the pop-up dinner, the perfume fundraiser — what each one taught herThe Old Girls Club and Society of Working Mothers — online communities built on realness over résumésWonder Woman Dinners — strangers become friends in under two hours, and why it works“Tell me something Google doesn’t know about you” — the opener that changes everythingWhy funny is sticky and vulnerability gets built through shared experiencesIf you can’t find what you’re looking for, build it — Brilliant Failures, Brilliant Mothers, Mama PaloozaJoining a volunteer board for women’s health research and what that unlockedWhy big conferences are often the least efficient use of a parent’s limited time and energyManaging your network based on energy levels, not just calendar availabilityWhat happens when you let your network go dark — and how to rebuild authenticallyHow to be direct about what you’re looking for instead of hoping the room delivers itNetworking with teenagers at home — and the season-by-season nature of connectionQuotes From This Episode“If you think you’re an N of one, you’re actually an N of 100. Just start it.”— Katie Schlott“Funny is sticky. Vulnerability is created in moments where you’re actually having fun with people.”— Katie Schlott“I want to join communities that thrive on real life, not résumés.”— Katie Schlott“Every single founder said: just pick one thing, just start with one. Don’t be overwhelmed, just get the ball rolling.”— Katie Schlott“The smaller rooms are the best. Everything that follows from a small room conversation — the email, the introduction, the follow-up — none of that ever comes from a big conference.”— Ashley BlackingtonResources & LinksConnect with Katie on LinkedInRead Katie's lnc. Magazine article on "The New Rules of Networking"Check out her consultancy and read ALL her articles (Fast Company, Inc and Business Insider)Buy the magical Costco totes that she uses to keep her cart contents tight!Connect with Ashley:Website: https://www.ashleyblackington.comPodcast website: https://www.andbothpodcast.com/Dovetail® App: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dovetail-app/id6744341822Instagram: @mydovetail.appLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyblackington/
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    1 時間 9 分
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