Have you ever been annoyed at someone for being late to dinner, missing a movie, or breaking a promise—and decided it was a flaw in their character? Yet when you do the exact same thing, you probably have a reason: traffic, an unexpected problem, or circumstances beyond your control. Why do we see the same behavior so differently depending on whether we’re judging ourselves or someone else?

In this episode of No More Illusions, we explore the illusion that a person’s behavior reveals their character. We’ll look at why we tend to blame circumstances for our own behavior but character for other people’s, and why that can lead us to make judgments based on incomplete information. Most importantly, we’ll explore a more useful way to understand behavior—one that can improve the quality of our relationships at work, at home, and with friends.

You’ll learn:

• Why we judge our own behavior differently from the behavior of others
• How the fundamental attribution error influences the way we explain people’s actions
• Why believing in “character” can be a useful shortcut—but also a misleading one

The next time someone does something you don’t like, resist the urge to immediately turn that behavior into a judgment about their character. Imagine you had done the same thing: What explanation would you give yourself?

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Topics: Executive presence, promotion, charisma, influence, communication, leadership, and career advancement