What if the goal of your divorce wasn't to win — but to make sure everyone could sit at a dinner table together a year from now for the sake of your kids?

In this episode, Jaime Davis sits down with Hannah Hembree Bell, founder of Hembree Bell Law Firm and creator of My Confident Divorce. Hannah built a multi-million-dollar family law practice rooted in a deceptively simple mission: help marriages end well. She describes herself as a recovering litigator — and for good reason. After navigating her own painful divorce and custody battle while putting herself through law school as a mother of three, Hannah didn't just survive the process. She rebuilt, and then she built a law firm so that she could be the attorney she desperately needed back then.

Hannah and Jaime get honest about one of the biggest misconceptions in family law: the idea that going to court means getting justice. As Hannah puts it, a client once told her that "the last place you go for justice is on the courthouse steps" — and after years in the courtroom, she couldn't agree more. The judge is not interested in your vindication. The judge is interested in your children's well-being and a decent application of the law. Understanding that from the beginning, Hannah explains, can reshape the entire divorce process. She and Jaime also discuss what it actually looks like to keep the main thing the main thing — even when the other party is committed to scorched earth litigation — and why the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Firm, and Friendly) is one of the most powerful tools a divorcing parent can have in their back pocket.

Key Takeaways

• Redefining the Win: If both parties leave mediation equally unhappy, that's probably the right result. If you feel like you got a slam dunk, that bodes poorly for your future co-parenting relationship — and your ex's ability to recover. A real win looks like dinner together with the kids a year later.
• Divorce Is a Tool, Not a Destination: A divorce is simply the legal mechanism by which you are no longer married. The real question is: what life are you running toward? Getting clear on that answer changes everything about how you move through the process.
• Bitter or Better — You Choose: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. How you react to your ex's latest move, how you show up for your kids, how you engage with the process — all of it is within your control, even when everything else feels like it isn't.
• You Deserve a Happy Life: Hannah's closing message is the one every woman in this process needs to hear. You are worthy because you exist. Not because you survived. Not because you white-knuckled it. Because you exist.

Learn more about Hannah's work and explore the My Confident Divorce program at HembreeBell.com

If you found this episode helpful, follow A Year and a Day wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

For legal assistance in North Carolina, contact Gailor Hunt at divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Divorce attorneys can tell you what to sign. Financial advisors can tell you what to keep. But who helps you understand what you're feeling — and why it's not going to feel this way forever?

In this episode, Jaime Davis sits down with Oona Metz, a nationally recognized psychotherapist with over 30 years of clinical experience and the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. For the last 15 years, Oona has led weekly divorce support groups that have become a lifeline for women navigating one of life's most difficult transitions. Her work fills a gap that the legal and financial world simply cannot: the internal, emotional experience of ending a marriage.

Oona introduces her Five Phases of Divorce Grief — Heartbreak, Rollercoaster, Mending, Letting Go, and Moving On — and explains why these stages are not a straight line. She and Jaime discuss why women initiate divorce 70% of the time (and what that actually tells us), the critical difference between legally ending a marriage and emotionally leaving one, and why dating too soon can quietly derail both your healing and your legal case. Oona also makes a powerful case for reframing the language around divorce entirely — moving away from words like "failed marriage" and "broken family" and toward something more accurate: a family restructuring and a life transition.

Key Takeaways

• The Sunk Cost Fallacy in Marriage: Staying because you've already been there 20 years is not a strategy — and it's not the definition of success. A long, miserable marriage is not an achievement.
• Protecting Your Nervous System: When stress goes up, cognition goes down. Self-care during divorce is not a luxury — it's a prerequisite for making sound legal and financial decisions that will affect the rest of your life.
• The Elevator Speech: Have a short, truthful, privacy-protecting answer ready for people who ask about your divorce. Your feelings about your ex will change over time — what you say in the heat of the moment won't.
• Dating Post-Separation: A tender heart needs the same care as a broken arm. Jumping into a new relationship before doing the internal work means your needs won't get met — again. And from a legal standpoint, new relationships discovered mid-case can unravel settlements that took months to build.

Find Oona's book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, and additional resources at OonaMetz.com.

If you found this episode helpful, follow A Year and a Day wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

For legal assistance in North Carolina, contact Gailor Hunt at divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

In this episode, we’re turning the mic around! Jaime Davis, host of A Year and a Day, joins Kayleigh Bain for a deep dive into the professional side of family law. With 25 years of experience and a board certification in family law, Jaime shares how she built a thriving practice and why she transitioned from dreaming of criminal law to mastering the complexities of "Divorce Without Destruction."

For business owners and professionals, divorce isn't just personal—it's a high-stakes asset management challenge. Jaime explains how to protect your business interests before and after marriage, the strategic importance of prenups (and "postnups"), and why your company’s valuation might be more vulnerable than you think. Whether you're a founder looking to shield your equity or an aspiring attorney curious about the "business" of law, this conversation provides the intentional, expert-led roadmap you need.

Inside this crossover, we cover:

• Protecting the Hustle: How business owners can use premarital agreements to ensure their growth remains separate property.
• Strategic Marketing: Why Jaime launched a podcast to educate individuals considering or going through a divorce and her referral network of realtors, therapists, and financial planners.
• The "Year and a Day" Logic: Understanding North Carolina’s mandatory separation period as a window for financial planning.

Need a consultation in North Carolina? Visit divorceistough.com to connect with the team at Gailor Hunt.
Have a myth you want Jaime to tackle? Email her at jdavis@divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina.

In this episode of A Year and a Day, host Jaime Davis takes on the role of "MythBuster." After years of seeing clients enter her office fueled by internet rumors and well-meaning but inaccurate advice, Jaime clears the air on the most common divorce misconceptions in North Carolina.

From the "staying together for the kids" trap to the reality of how property is actually divided, this episode replaces "water cooler wisdom" with hard facts. Jaime breaks down the state's unique Year and a Day rule, explains why moving into the spare bedroom isn't a legal separation, and reveals why "winning" the divorce based on a spouse's misconduct is largely a fantasy. Whether you're curious about whether the Courts favor mothers or wondering if your pre-marital home is excluded from property division, this episode provides the clarity needed to make decisions based on facts, not fear.

The Myths We're Busting:

• The Bedroom Separation Myth: Why you aren't "legally separated" until someone actually moves out.
• The Child’s Choice Myth: Does a 12-year-old really get to pick where they live? (Spoiler: No).
• The "Cheater Takes All" Myth: How marital misconduct actually affects alimony, post-separation support, and property division.
• The Equitable vs. Equal Myth: Understanding that "equitable" doesn't always mean a perfect 50-50 split.
• Mothers are favored in custody decisions, your spouse needs to sign divorce papers, and MORE!

Need a consultation in North Carolina? Visit divorceistough.com to connect with the team at Gailor Hunt.

Have a myth you want Jaime to tackle? Email her at jdavis@divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this episode, I’m joined by Diane Kinlaw, a senior loan officer with Revolution Mortgage, to discuss the critical mortgage challenges that arise during separation and divorce.

Diane explains why your credit score is your "financial resume" and why you shouldn't wait until your divorce is finalized to speak with a mortgage professional. We dive into the specific rules for using alimony and child support as qualifying income, why keeping the house isn’t always in your best financial interest, and the logistical hurdles of equity buyouts through cash-out refinances.

Together, we discuss the "deal breakers" of debt-to-income ratios, how contingent liabilities on joint credit cards can sink a new loan application, and the reality of navigating today's interest rates versus "stored equity." Diane provides a proactive checklist for gathering financial documents and highlights the importance of working with a team—attorneys, financial advisors, and lenders—to ensure a clean transition to your next chapter.

Need help from Diane? Reach out for a free consultation at revolutionmortgage.com/dianekinlaw.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this episode, I sit down with Autumn Dubois, founder and principal agent of Dubois Property Group, to discuss the strategic management of one of your most significant financial assets during a divorce: the family home.

Autumn shares her expertise on navigating the intersection of real estate and divorce, explaining why she views her role as "Switzerland"—a neutral third party dedicated to protecting the sale regardless of the conflict between spouses. We explore the importance of a tight listing strategy, why having a hard date in a separation agreement is the "absolute best scenario" for preventing delays, and how to manage the logistical hurdles of repairs and staging when homeowners are living separately.

Together, we weigh the pros and cons of when one party wants to stay in the family home and discuss the financial "red flags" that might make selling a better move than a buyout, the complexities of loan assumptions in today's market, and transitioning into a "new chapter" purchase. Autumn also provides a checklist for coordinating with divorce attorneys to ensure closing disclosures and proceed directives align with legal requirements, helping you maximize your profit and move forward with clarity.

Need help from Autumn? Learn more about her transition-specialized real estate services by visiting duboispropertygroup.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Lee Baucom, a veteran relationship coach, therapist, and creator of the Save the Marriage System.

Lee shares his perspective as a "recovering marriage therapist," explaining why traditional marriage counseling often fails by focusing on communication—the "plumbing"—rather than the underlying connection. He breaks down how marriages often hit a "pause button" during busy seasons of life, leading to a slow cascade of disconnection that mirrors the symptoms people mistake for the "reasons" for divorce.

Together, we explore the concept of "The We"—viewing the marriage as a third entity or a team—and how this mindset shift can resolve conflicts over money, parenting, in-laws, and more. Lee reveals how one partner can unilaterally change the "dance" of a relationship to invite restoration, even when the other is emotionally withdrawn or "quietly quitting" the marriage. Whether you are looking to save your partnership or create a better co-parenting relationship, Lee provides a roadmap for moving from high-conflict combat to connection.

Need help from Lee? Discover his system and resources by visiting savethemarriage.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Welcome to A Year and a Day. I’m Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt. In this re-run episode, I’m talking with Kate Anthony, a certified high-conflict divorce coach and author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage.

Kate shares her insights from over a decade of coaching thousands of women through the agonizing choice of whether to stay in a marriage or pursue a divorce. We explore why women often stay in unhappy relationships for an average of four years before making a move, frequently choosing their children’s or spouse’s needs above their own. Kate challenges the cultural myth that "staying for the kids" is always the best path, noting that high-conflict or deeply unhappy households can create a toxic blueprint for a child’s future relationships.

Together, we discuss how to identify different forms of abuse—including emotional, financial, and spiritual—and the "frog in boiling water" syndrome that leaves many women desensitized to their own unhappiness. Kate provides a roadmap for self-actualization, explaining how to differentiate your inner guide from your inner critic and why personal development is the ultimate tool for a brighter future, whether that involves saving the marriage through qualified therapy or "saving the divorce" through healthy communication.

Need help from Kate? Explore her resources and order her book by visiting kateanthony.com.

If you are in need of legal assistance in North Carolina, contact us at Gailor Hunt by visiting www.divorceistough.com.

Like this show? Rate it here!

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.