Halloween is either already over or happening right now, depending on which part of the conversation you’re following. James negotiates a school disco timetable involving multiple pick-ups, drop-offs and an unexpectedly long wait outside a primary school.

Meanwhile, Ben takes issue with the “teacher voice” in staff training, and we explore the difference between letting someone finish and actually listening to them.

Eating out comes with a full medical briefing as Ben explains life with a third of a stomach, while James explains why Ben ordering food can become James’s problem. There’s also the never-ending supply of staffroom cake, the pressure to accept another helping, and a special evening with some unfortunate consequences.

A postcard promises whiskey, cigars and satisfaction guaranteed. James discovers that the other Ben and James combinations are all considerably more successful. And the site manager would quite like us to leave.

We can have ten more minutes. That should be plenty.

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