Is there a relationship you've been building your life around — not because it's healthy, but because you're afraid to confront it?

This is Part 3 — the series finale — of our RESET series. Today we learn how to reset our relationships. Not return them to what they were. But bring them under the values, authority, and love of Jesus — and discover whether healing is possible.

We enter the story of Jacob and Esau: twin brothers whose relationship was shattered by deception, betrayal, favoritism, and a vow of murder. Jacob fled. Twenty years of distance passed. Success accumulated. But the fractured relationship still had the power to terrify him.

What we avoid emotionally does not disappear relationally.

David D. Ireland, Ph.D. | Lead Pastor | Christ Church

In this message, we work through four questions that will guide you through one of the most difficult things a person can do — reset a broken relationship:

• What Am I AVOIDING? — Avoidance is not the same as a healthy boundary. A boundary protects you from destructive behavior. Avoidance protects you from necessary discomfort. Jacob changed his location, but he did not resolve his past. For twenty years, the man he had wronged still held power over him.

• What Must God CHANGE? — Jacob wanted God to change Esau. God addressed the man living inside Jacob first. Before God repaired what was between them, He confronted the patterns within Jacob that had damaged it. God often repairs something within us before repairing something between us.

• How Should I APPROACH? — Jacob went ahead of his household and bowed to the ground seven times. He did not begin with his defense, his evidence, or his demands. He approached with humility and ownership — without attempting to control how Esau would respond. We also watch Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas — once close friends whose three-decade fractured friendship was restored when one chose affirmation and apology over accusation.

• Can We Begin AGAIN? — Esau ran, embraced Jacob, and wept. The painful history remained real — but it no longer controlled their future. A new beginning becomes possible when grace becomes greater than the grievance.

We also walk through the five signs a relationship may need to end — because not every broken relationship is meant to be repaired.

Key scriptures: Genesis 32:1–8 | Genesis 32:24–28 | Genesis 33:1–11 | John 13:34–35 | Titus 3:10