There is a middle ground with alcohol that affects so many of us in midlife: we're not dealing with addiction, but we often wake up feeling guilty, tired, and stuck in a cycle of habitual drinking. We tell ourselves we’ll stop, only to pour another glass to take the edge off a stressful day.

In this episode, I welcome Colleen Freeland, founder of Emotional Sobriety Coaching and host of the It's Not About the Alcohol podcast. We discuss why high-functioning women use alcohol to cope, the difference between positive and negative reinforcement, and how to retrain your brain using mindfulness rather than willpower.

What You’ll Learn:

• The Root of the Habit: Drinking too much is not self-indulgent. It is actually a symptom of self-neglect and a way to cope with running on a deficit.
• The Restriction Trap: Using willpower to avoid alcohol can feel like a Chinese finger cuff, where the harder you pull away, the tighter it gets. If you do not solve the underlying pattern, you will simply switch to another coping mechanism.
• The "Delay, Don't Deny" Strategy: You can learn to delay pouring a drink by taking five to fifteen minutes to do something else that invites pleasure. This practice helps retrain your brain and rebuilds neural pathways without requiring strict, all-or-nothing abstinence.

Links & Resources:

• Episode Sponsor Vitamin G (Use code MINDYOURMIDLIFE for 10% off at Cherylpfischer.com/vitaminG)
• Colleen's Quiz and Website: emotionalsobrietycoaching.com
• Colleen's Podcast: It's Not About the Alcohol
• Colleen's Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer
• Take Colleen's quiz: What type of drinker are you?
• Episode 83: Tricia Nelson on Emotional Eating

Episode Chapters:

00:00:00 - The Wine Guilt Cycle
00:01:33 - Sponsor Break Vitamin G
00:02:07 - Midlife Sleep And The Tipping Point
00:04:40 - Meet Colleen And Emotional Sobriety
00:06:53 - Too Much Drinking As Self Neglect
00:10:06 - Positive Vs Negative Reinforcement
00:14:17 - Why Cold Turkey Can Backfire
00:18:10 - Delay Don’t Deny And New Pleasures
00:22:21 - Nervous System Tools Over Willpower
00:25:21 - Mindfulness And Reconnecting To Your Body
00:29:55 - Where To Find Colleen And The Quiz
00:34:27 - Key Takeaways And Closing Reflection

Why This Episode Matters By recognizing that your drinking habits might just be a coping mechanism for a busy, stressful life, you can strip away the guilt and start giving yourself the grace you deserve.

Take a little bit better care of yourself in midlife.

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Let’s talk health after 50, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative. Every week I'm adding new success strategies for midlife women.

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