What happens when the faith meant to save you becomes the thing you need to escape?

In this episode of The Unlearning Curve, we sit down with Rev. Heather Foy—writer, podcast host, and advocate for people navigating life beyond high-control religion.

Heather grew up in her father’s church, surrounded by rigid theology, authoritarian structures, and religious abuse. Her eventual path through deconstruction and seminary forced her to confront the distance between what churches claim to believe and how they often treat people who don’t fit neatly inside the system.

We talk about religious trauma, shame, gender roles, cult-like dynamics in high-control churches, and the connection Heather sees between Christian nationalism and authoritarian religion. We also dig into something deceptively difficult: learning to listen to people whose experiences challenge the theology you inherited.

Because sometimes unlearning isn’t about abandoning everything you believed.

It’s about figuring out what was actually worth keeping.

Topics include:

• Growing up inside an authoritarian church
• Religious trauma and deconstruction
• What seminary changed—and didn’t
• Shame as a tool of religious control
• Cult-like dynamics in high-control Christianity
• Christian nationalism and authoritarianism
• Listening to women and marginalized voices
• Building a spiritual life beyond rigid dogma

Join Stuart, Karl, and JD for a conversation about faith, freedom, and what happens when you finally give yourself permission to question the system.

The Unlearning Curve Podcast

Copyright 2025 - Stuart Delony & Karl Forehand

theunlearningcurvepodcast@gmail.com

While many of us yearn for truth and understanding, the systems we participate in often prevent us from attaining genuine freedom in our everyday lives. As we move away from organized religion, we begin to recognize patterns. We believe that addressing many of these challenges requires us to examine all aspects of our lives, including:

* Toxic Leaders

* Toxic/Dangerous Organizations

* Our Mental Well-Being

* The Things We Learn on the Journey

Regardless of your belief system, we encourage you to unlearn anything that doesn’t benefit you. This will lead to healing and uncover a new way forward!

JD Forehand is the son of a preacher and an overseas educator. Stuart Delony is a former pastor, podcaster, and blogger for the Snarky Faith community. Karl Forehand is a former pastor who runs The Desert Sanctuary, a home for spiritual nomads, with his wife, Laura.

Disclaimer: We view ourselves as practitioners on a journey of discovery rather than as experts. While we strive to share our experiences and the lessons we’re unlearning transparently, we will also refer you to professionals when necessary. Trusted guides will arrive when you need them.

Feel free to share your thoughts, concerns, and any necessary corrections with Karl (karl4hand@gmail.com) or Stuart (stuartdelony@gmail.com). You can also visit our Facebook page, The Unlearning Curve.