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What happens when belonging always seems to require one more adjustment?

In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the exhaustion of constantly trying to qualify for acceptance through the lens of Joseph Heller's Catch-22. From rehearsing conversations and monitoring expressions to navigating unspoken rules that seem to change just when you think you’ve finally understood them, masking can turn belonging into an impossible moving target.

We’ll explore the psychology of shifting expectations, rejection after intense effort, and the painful realization that sometimes the problem was never that you failed to meet the requirements—it was that the requirements were designed in a way that never allowed you to arrive.

And perhaps freedom begins when you stop asking, “What else do I need to change?” and start asking, “Why am I working this hard to belong somewhere that keeps moving the door?”

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the U.S. to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.