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Unmasking is rarely a straight path—and returning to old coping strategies does not mean you have failed. In this episode, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores unmasking as a spiral, weaving together a four-part unmasking process with Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief. From identity and authenticity to safety, loss, and self-acceptance, this episode offers a compassionate look at why moving “backwards” may actually mean returning with greater awareness, agency, and understanding.

References

• Å. Hedlund and colleagues, “Reclaiming selfhood: towards a conceptualisation of the autistic unmasking process,” Frontiers in Psychiatry (2026). Neurodivergent-led qualitative study describing four interconnected, circular categories: identifying the need to unmask, understanding one’s masking, using unmasking strategies, and managing consequences.
• L. Hull and colleagues, “Putting on My Best Normal: Social Camouflaging in Adults with Autism Spectrum Conditions,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2017).
• E. Cage and colleagues, “Understanding the Reasons, Contexts and Costs of Camouflaging for Autistic Adults,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2019).
• J. Cook and colleagues, “Camouflaging in autism: A systematic review,” Clinical Psychology Review (2021).
• L. Bradley and colleagues, “Autistic Adults’ Experiences of Camouflaging and Its Perceived Impact on Mental Health,” Autism in Adulthood (2021/2022).
• K. Corden and colleagues, “Personal Identity After an Autism Diagnosis: Relationships With Self-Esteem, Mental Wellbeing, and Diagnostic Timing,” Frontiers in Psychology (2021).
• S. Bargiela and colleagues, “The Experiences of Late-diagnosed Women with Autism Spectrum Conditions: An Investigation of the Female Autism Phenotype,” Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders (2016).
• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Death and Dying (1969). The five responses originated in work with people facing terminal illness and should not be treated as a universal or linear bereavement sequence.
• Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation, overview of the five stages/change curve.

Crisis and Support

If this discussion brings up feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm, please reach out for immediate support. In the United States and its territories, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are elsewhere, contact your local crisis service or emergency number.