EPISODE 46: WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT?

Why such a simple question can feel terrifying when you’ve spent your life becoming who everyone else needed.

What do you want?

It sounds like such a simple question.

Until you realize you’ve spent years becoming incredibly good at knowing what everyone else wants — what will make your partner happy, what your kids need, what your mother expects, what will keep the peace, and what will make everyone comfortable.

But what about you?

In this episode of The Liberated Lesbian Lounge, Annie M Henderson explores why “I don’t know what I want” doesn’t always mean you’re confused.

Sometimes you know exactly what you want.

You just don’t let yourself know it for very long.

We untangle:

• Why desire can feel dangerous for people-pleasers
• The difference between wanting something and deciding to do it
• Why “I want…” can so quickly turn into “But I can’t because…”
• How fear, guilt, responsibility, and other people’s reactions can drown out your own preferences
• The “borrowed wants” we may inherit from family, culture, religion, relationships, and expectations about what a good life should look like
• Why discovering something new about yourself doesn’t mean your old life was a lie
• How to tell the difference between “I don’t know what I want” and “I’m afraid of what wanting this might change”
• Why preference is a muscle — and how to start rebuilding it through tiny everyday choices
• How your body can react to desire as though wanting itself is dangerous
• Why liberation doesn’t mean your wants become the only ones that matter — it means you finally get a seat at the table
• And how to listen to a desire without immediately turning it into a decision, plan, or life-changing announcement

A question to sit with this week:

If nobody needed anything from me for just a moment…

What might I want?

You don’t have to act on the answer.

You don’t have to justify it.

You don’t even have to tell anyone.

Maybe the first step is simply allowing yourself to hear it.

Because you don’t have to build your entire life around everything you want.

But you deserve to know what you want before you decide what to do with it.

WORK WITH ANNIE

If you’re thinking, “I don’t know what I want anymore,” you don’t have to figure it out before asking for support.

You can arrive with the question.

The Liberated Lesbian Membership offers ongoing connection and a place to practice alongside other women untangling people-pleasing, identity, boundaries, self-trust, and becoming more fully themselves.

And if something in your life feels more personal, complicated, tender, or ready to move, one-on-one coaching gives us a space entirely focused on you.

Learn more about both ways to work with Annie:

https://anniemhenderson.com

And if you already know 1:1 coaching is right for you, here is the link to my calendar:

1:1 Coaching

THE LIBERATED LESBIAN LOUNGE

Untangle. Trust. Become.

New episodes weekly.