What if the parts of yourself you've spent your entire life hiding are the very parts asking to be loved?

In this very first episode of Awaken with Alicia, I sit down with Caitlin for a live coaching session exploring a fear that so many women silently carry: the belief that if people saw the real us, our anger, our messiness, our needs, our vulnerability, they would leave.

On the outside, Caitlin is calm, capable, and the person everyone depends on. But beneath the surface, she struggles with an angry inner voice that constantly asks, "What the f* is wrong with me?"

Together, we explore how childhood experiences shape the stories we tell ourselves, why so many women learn to suppress their emotions to feel safe, and what happens when anger turns inward into self-judgment and self-criticism.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that healing isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about learning to accept the parts of ourselves we've been taught to reject.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why so many women believe their anger is unacceptable

• How childhood wounds shape our relationships and sense of self

• The fear of being rejected for showing our true emotions

• Why people-pleasing and perfectionism are often survival strategies

• The connection between anger, boundaries, and self-worth

• How the inner critic develops and why it becomes so loud

• The difference between fixing yourself and accepting yourself

• What it means to stop hiding and allow your full humanity to be seen

If you've ever felt like you have to be the strong one, the calm one, the easy one—or if you've secretly wondered whether people would leave if they saw all of you, this episode is for you.

⏱️ Timestamps:

0:00 "Everyone Thinks I'm Calm..."

1:58 The Parts of Ourselves We Hide

4:00 Learning to Be the "Easy" Child

7:00 Why Healing Isn't Just About Somatics

10:05 Waiting for Someone to Notice You

13:00 "What If I'm Broken?"

15:15 Looking for Validation Outside Yourself

18:10 The Anger We Judge and Reject

20:00 "This Isn't a Lovable Part"

22:15 Reclaiming Feminine Rage

26:20 The Father Wound and Fear of Anger

31:00 What Is Your Anger Trying to Show You?

35:00 "If People Saw This Part of Me, They'd Leave"

38:00 Drawing a Line in the Sand

40:00 Vulnerability Creates Real Intimacy

43:00 What Safety Actually Feels Like

46:00 Becoming Available for New Relationships

49:00 The Order Is Placed

50:00 What If Nothing Needs Fixing?

54:00 "My Fire Is Mine"

Connect with Alicia:

Be a guest on the show:

https://aliciakay.as.me/awakenwithalicia

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Website:

https://www.aliciakaycoaching.com

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YouTube:

www.youtube.com/@aliciakaycoaching

Trailer Music Credit

Alis Reflective Soul, song “Howl”

https://open.spotify.com/track/6FkSVtVl1FZwPRmTKAXLjp?si=401711feb98644d9