Your sister isn't communicating with you the way she used to.

You still visit her. You sit together at supper. You put on music she has always enjoyed, hoping it will help you connect.

But she doesn't respond the way she once did.

You find yourself wondering what she's thinking, what you should say, and whether you should keep trying to get her to answer.

Then, at mealtime, she doesn't want you to take away her empty plate. It has happened more than once. You don't want to upset her, but you're not sure what to do.

In this episode of Dementia Caregiver Support for Christians, we listen to Helen describe these two situations with her sister, who has Alzheimer's, and look at what each one actually requires of Helen.

When dementia changes a person's ability to communicate, the back-and-forth that once made conversation familiar may no longer be possible.

That doesn't mean you can no longer connect. But it does mean you may need to change what you expect from the interaction.

And when an everyday activity, like clearing an empty plate, begins to cause resistance, you may need to distinguish between what eventually needs to happen and what actually needs to happen right now.

The question is not simply, "How do I get her to respond or cooperate?"

It is, "What am I actually trying to accomplish in this moment, and what does that require now?"

• Why a conversation can still be meaningful even when the person with dementia can no longer participate in the familiar back-and-forth.
• How changing your expectations, using running commentary, and responding to emotions can help you stay connected without requiring a verbal response.
• Why identifying the actual outcome you need can help you determine whether something, like clearing an empty plate, needs to happen immediately or can wait.

01:20 — When Conversation Becomes One-Sided 03:37 — Helen's Questions About Her Sister 09:39 — What Is She Thinking? 13:52 — Rethinking What Connection Looks Like 16:37 — Talking Without Expecting an Answer 18:13 — The Mealtime Dilemma

You may not be able to know what your loved one is thinking, especially as dementia changes her ability to communicate.

But knowing her thoughts is not necessarily what you need in order to remain connected.

You can talk to her, share ordinary things about your day, respond to what you notice, and simply be present without requiring her to answer.

And when she resists something as ordinary as having her plate cleared, you can stop and consider whether the action is necessary at that moment.

The plate still needs to be cleared. But it may not need to be cleared right now.

The work is to recognize what has changed, understand what you are actually trying to accomplish, and choose a response that fits the situation as it is now.

If there is a caregiving situation you keep trying to figure out, bring it to Ask the DigniCare™ Advisor.

Maybe a conversation no longer works the way it used to. Maybe an ordinary caregiving task has started getting a different reaction. Or maybe something relatively small keeps happening, and you're not sure what it means or what you should do differently.

You do not need to bring your whole caregiving story. Bring the specific situation you are trying to understand now.

In this free live Zoom session, we will look at what is actually happening, what matters in your particular situation, and what your next faithful step may be.

The next session is Saturday, October 24, 2026, at 3 p.m. Eastern, with only six spots available every month.

https://www.dignicarebydesign.com/ask

This podcast offers a Caregiving System Advising perspective grounded in a Christian worldview. It is not medical advice. Medical evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment remain within the authority of appropriate healthcare professionals.