What happens when a new school leader tries so hard to meet everyone’s expectations that they stop leading like themselves? In this episode of Coaching the Whole Educator, Becca Silver talks with Joshua Stamper, author of Aspire to Lead and host of the Aspire to Lead podcast, about perseverance, adversity, and the quiet ways aspiring leaders slip into compliance while trying to prove they belong.

Josh shares his unexpected path from art teacher to athletic coach, Dean of Students, and assistant principal for nearly a decade, and now speaker, author, and leadership consultant. He opens up about his first months as Dean of Students, when staff and families expected him to be “the sheriff.” He tried to fill that role, and discipline referrals climbed every month. Then he made a shift: he got clear on his own values, rebuilt the campus approach to student behavior around teaching skills instead of punishment, and watched both the data and the culture turn around.

Becca and Josh also dig into:

• Influence vs. control: how to tell whether you want to lead people or simply want more control over decisions, and why “I’m just a teacher” holds back progress
• How “no” creates compliance culture: why turning down a teacher’s idea can move them from ownership back to compliance, and what a “yes, and” leader does instead
• The cost of being chosen: navigating jealousy, rivalry, and shifting peer relationships when you’re tapped for leadership early
• Rejection as “not yet”: what Josh learned from being passed over for promotion, and why talking about what you have done beats what you would do in leadership interviews
• Regulation under pressure: why anticipating hard moments (and deciding in advance who you’ll be) is one of the strongest leadership practices, plus Becca’s reframe that every breakdown carries the seed of a breakthrough
• The ASPIRE framework: Activate, Support, Persevere, Identity, Reflection, and Execution, with practical advice on “activating” by becoming visibly available to your admin team

This episode is for teachers considering an administrative path, assistant principals eyeing the next role, instructional coaches, and any educator who leads with or without a title.

About the guest: Joshua Stamper is a former art teacher, coach, Dean of Students, and assistant principal who now speaks, writes, and coaches educators nationwide. He is the author of Aspire to Lead and The Language of Behavior, hosts three podcasts, and leads the Aspire to Lead cohort for aspiring school leaders.

Connect with Joshua: https://joshstamper.com | Instagram and X: @joshua__stamper

Explore Becca’s book: The Resistance Solution: https://amzn.to/4pRCaa5

Lead your own book study with the Book Study Facilitator Training: https://www.thewholeeducator.com/book-study-facilitator-training

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