Ever leave a coaching conversation feeling great about the advice you gave, only to come back a week later and find nothing has changed? You're not alone, and it's probably not the teacher's fault.

In this episode, Becca sits down with her friend and colleague coaching master Chrissy Beltran, known to many as Buzzing with Ms. B, to unpack why coaching conversations so often go nowhere. Chrissy shares why coaches feel pressure to have all the answers, how teachers often ask for help in the only way they know how (a complaint), and the simple mindset shift that keeps every interaction moving toward real partnership.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why our "advice monster" is so loud as coaches (hint: it feels really good)
• The difference between coaching and consulting, and why quick fixes rarely change thinking
• Why "it doesn't matter what you say, it matters what they hear"
• Chrissy's ABC model: Always Be Coaching, and where the idea came from (spoiler: knives)
• How to narrow your follow-up to a simple yes or no ("Can I come by tomorrow at 9?")
• Why you should offer two or three support options, tops
• The red flag phrases that signal it's time to point the finger back at yourself
• The difference between manipulation and intentionally building connection
• Why connection is the shortest distance to coachability

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Welcome and introducing Chrissy Beltran
• 00:55 The problem: a whole conversation and nothing changes
• 01:29 Why coaches feel they have to have all the answers
• 03:26 Taming the advice monster
• 05:22 That's not coaching, that's consulting
• 06:30 The psychology on both sides of unsolicited advice
• 08:00 When "okay" at the end of PD really means compliance
• 08:57 Selling Cutco and the birth of Always Be Coaching
• 11:45 Making follow-up easy to say yes to
• 13:00 Showing up the next day with two or three options
• 14:37 "Guess what? They're coming back tomorrow."
• 15:42 Red flag phrases like "Well, I told them"
• 18:07 Manipulation vs. authentic connection
• 19:47 Being right vs. making a difference
• 21:24 Chrissy's new book, Expand Your Coaching Toolbox

About Chrissy Beltran:
Chrissy Beltran is an instructional coaching expert, the voice behind Buzzing with Ms. B, and host of the Instructional Coaching with Ms. B podcast. Her new book, Expand Your Coaching Toolbox: 20 Practical Strategies That Improve Teaching and Learning (ASCD), is a hands-on guidebook with strategies for relationship building, knowledge and alignment, and instructional skill, each with a note on how to forward the coaching conversation.

Resources mentioned:

• Expand Your Coaching Toolbox by Chrissy Beltran: pre-order through ASCD now, available everywhere (including Amazon) in November

Connect with Becca:
Learn more about Becca's work and The Resistance Solution at thewholeeducator.com.

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